


How Love Hurts

by LindyA1985



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Bisexual Harry Potter, Custody Battle, Depressed Harry Potter, Divorce, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Minor Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Minor Character Death, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Physical Abuse, Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2020-02-28 12:52:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 80,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18756814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindyA1985/pseuds/LindyA1985
Summary: Draco says goodbye to his wife Astoria on her deathbed when she makes him promise to be true to himself and to confess to Harry Potter in the next 12 months that he's been in love with him for years. Will Draco honour this promise or does he stay hidden away in his mansion now that he's all alone?





	1. Goodbye Astoria

**Author's Note:**

> Just a couple of warnings before you start to read this story. 
> 
> 1\. This begins with the death of Astoria Greengrass because of her blood curse, so that is the minor character death of the tags. No other characters will die during this story. Cannon compliant deads of the past do come up from time to time. 
> 
> 2\. This story is not a kind story for Ginny Weasley. It's not that I don't like her, the story here just won't work if she isn't a little crazy. Also, everything is seen out of Harry's and Draco's point of view, so her reason won't be revealed for some time.
> 
> 3\. This story is plotted out from beginning to end but hasn't been completely written out yet. New chapters come when they come, I'm not on a schedule.
> 
> This next note is completely optional and won't affect updates whatsoever, but it is appreciated.  
> You can support my writing if you want by buying me a coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/AlindasStories

The room is silent. Draco looks out of the window. The world turns orange while the sun sets behind the trees. He should get up and close the curtains, turn around and go get some dinner. It’s the wise thing to do, only Draco doesn’t have it in him to move. His eyes are heavy and his heart aches. It won’t be long now and he will be all alone in this massive house. He can put it up for sale when Scorpius is older and finds his own place. Then Draco can find a smaller place to live, one with less horrible memories of death and war. But only after Scorpius moves out, Draco doesn’t have it in him to take his home away from his son as well.

 

Draco turns his eyes back to the bed next to him. His arm stretched out to hold the small hand of Astoria that lies above the blue sheets. Small fingers that are little more than bone these days. Her skin is pale, whiter even than Draco’s own fair skin. Her dark hair thinned out, her mouth a small line next to her sunken cheeks. She had always been frail because of her blood curse, but ever since the birth of Scorpius, it had gotten worse. She always went to bed early, too tired to stay up and read. Draco had told her he would be okay to stay childless, knowing what it might do to his wife, only Astoria had been stubborn. She always has been, it’s one of the things Draco loves about her.

 

Astoria opens her eyes and looks at Draco, a small smile forms on her face and Draco tries to smile back. It’s harder every day, knowing that one of these times it’s going to be the last smile they share.

 

“What time is it?” Astoria asks. Her voice is frail, soft and somehow still loving. It’s the voice Draco longs to hear when he comes into the kitchen in the mornings. Only Astoria hasn’t woken before him in years, hasn’t left her bed in months. Hasn’t been able to stay awake for more than a couple of minutes for days now. Draco swallows away the lump in his throat, he won’t cry in front of her.

 

“Almost seven,” Draco answers. He looks into her blue eyes that have sunk even further since yesterday. She really is only skin over bones these days. And still, she is beautiful in her own way.

 

“Did you write to Scorpius?” Astoria her fingers squeeze Draco’s and her eyes water a little. “I would like to see him one last time.”

 

Draco’s eyes start to water. He blinks away the tears. Not yet, not now. In a couple of minutes, Astoria will fall asleep again. Then he will be able to break apart.

 

“I have, together with a letter for Headmistress McGonagall. I’m sure she will give him permission to come home. I’m expecting a response tonight.”

 

Astoria closes her eyes for a second. “Thank you, darling,” she whispers. They stay silent, not sure of what to say next. Draco wishes he could do more for her, more than sit beside her and hold her hand until the end comes. At least she won’t be alone like his mother or kissed by a Dementor like his father. Astoria will die in her own bed, surrounded by the ones she loves.

 

“Promise me you will be true to yourself once I’m gone,” Astoria says, her eyes fixed on Draco again. Draco looks away, back out the window where the sun has disappeared behind the horizon. The chandeliers in the room light up after Draco mummers a Lumos. The light flickers around them and Draco watches his reflexion in the darkened window. True to himself, he has no idea how he’s supposed to do that. He has never been allowed to be just him. He was the Malfoy heir, the perfect and only son of Lucius Abraxas Malfoy, one of the top students of his year, until he was forced to leave Hogwarts, to fight a war of a madman his father thought would one day rule the world.

 

“You did what they asked of you your entire life, Draco. Even after they passed away you never once considered to leave me.”

 

“Malfoy’s don’t get divorced, you know that,” Draco says. He hates that his voice wavers, that he can’t force himself to look at his wife now.

 

“I know, and I love you for taking care of me as you did,” Astoria says. “But I need you to show our son that it’s okay to be himself, and he will only learn that if his father starts doing the same.”

 

Draco has a lump in his throat, he tries to swallow it but it won’t go away. A single tear escapes from his eye, travels down his cheek. “I don’t think I can,” he confesses.

 

“Draco, look at me,” Astoria asks.

 

Draco shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk about this. It only reminds him of what a failure of a husband and father he is. Astoria deserves so much better. She shouldn’t die because she gave a man that could never truly love her a son. She never should have been trapped in a marriage with a man like him, a man that was destined to hide his true self his entire life. He lets go of Astoria’s hand to hide his face behind his palms. Tears flow freely now and Draco wishes he could change himself, wishes he could have been the man that could have loved Astoria as she deserved.

 

“I’m sorry,” he sobs. “I’m so sorry, Tori.”

 

“Draco, please look at me. I don’t want to have this conversation with your back and I can’t force you any more to face me.”

 

Draco’s heart breaks because of the tremble in Astoria’s voice, the pain he can hear she’s trying to hide from him right now. It’s enough for him to lift his head from his hands and look at her. She gives him another smile, one that comes closest to the once Draco fell in love with years ago.

 

“I don’t blame you for any of it, I’ve loved you, still love you, and you love me in your own way. But soon you won’t have to pretend anymore for my sake, Draco.”

 

Draco shakes his head. “Scorpius will suffer once the trued comes out,” he starts. Astoria gives him a stern look, it looks a little freighting on her hollowed out face and Draco stops talking.

 

“He won’t, and you know it. He adores you. And he sees more than you give him credit for. He already knows.”

 

This is news to Draco. How could his son know? It’s not like Draco ever did anything that would give it away. He’s stayed faithful to his wife, supported her in her every need.

 

“Don’t be surprised, darling. He’s your son, after all,” Astoria continues. “He asks me about it last summer after you collected him from Albus. You seem to lose the ability to speak when confronted with a certain Head Auror,” she jokes. “And I don’t blame you, he did age up nicely.”

 

“And he’s married with children and hates my guts,” Draco spits back.

 

“Oh, Draco, you don’t get it. That’s not the point here. The point is that you have feelings for him. And you can tell me if I’m wrong, but I think you’ve had these feelings for years. You already had them before we got married, probably since Hogwarts even.”

 

Draco can’t speak, only nod his head in confirmation. She’s not wrong and that hurts. They never talked about this, they just pretended that they had a good marriage. Only it never really was a marriage, was it. When Draco looks at Astoria he sees a woman that he loves, but as a sister, as the mother of his son, never as his lover or wife, never as the person he wants to share his bed with or grow old with. And all this time she knew and never complained.

 

“It’s okay, Draco. I’ve made my peace with this years ago. I’ve loved my life, our life. It’s just that I want you to find happiness when I’m gone. And it might not be with Harry Potter, but I’m sure if let yourself you will find a man that will love you as you deserve.”

 

“You should have had the opportunity to find a man that would have loved you like you deserved,” Draco counters back.

 

“Don’t turn this around, darling. I’ve spent my life with the man I love, even though he couldn’t love me back in the same way. I’ve made that choice when I married you.” Draco shakes his head and Astoria smiles at him, giggles even. “Do you really think I didn’t know that you are gay?” she asks.

 

Draco drops his eyes to the ground. “Yes, I thought I hid it well.”

 

“Oh, you silly man,” Astoria laughs. “It’s not that hard to figure out when your boyfriend doesn’t want to sleep with you, and never gets excited when he kisses you. I knew what I was getting into when I married you. And I don’t regret any moment of our life together, you hear me. You’ve been an amazing husband in all the ways that really matter. And you are a fantastic father to our son.”

 

Draco stares at his wife, surprised by her confession. She had known all along and still loved him. And now she wants him to stop hiding it all, to find his own happiness.

 

“Draco, I don’t have long anymore, and I need you to promise me. Please promise me that you won’t hide, don’t go looking for a new wife. Go looking for a man that can make you happy,” Astoria says defiantly.

 

“Astoria, I’ve loved Potter for years, you really think others will compare to him,” Draco counters back. He’s thought about it, finding a man on the side, only they would never be Potter, and he seemed the only person worth risking his marriage over.

 

“Then tell him.”

 

“What?” Draco stutters. “You want me to go and tell Harry Potter, the saviour of the wizarding world, married to the perfect Ginevra Weasley, father of three children, Head Auror and the straightest person I’ve ever met that I’ve loved him for years.”

 

Astoria smiles. “Yes, I want you to tell him.”

 

Draco shakes his head. His mouth twists upwards. “You’re crazy, you know that. He will arrest me on the spot.”

 

“But at least you’ll know that it’s hopeless and then maybe you can move on and find that perfect person for you.”

 

“Fine, I’ll tell him,” Draco says shyly.

 

“Promise me you will within the next twelve months.”

 

Draco laughs. “You know me too well, Tori.”

 

“That’s why I’m your wife, darling,” Astoria says. Her eyes drop close for a second.

 

Draco moves closer to the bed and strokes Astoria’s hair out of her face. “You should go back to sleep,” he tells her.

 

“First promise me,” Astoria says faintly.

 

“Sweetheart,” Draco says. He takes hold of Astoria’s hand again. “I promise you, within the next twelve months I will confess my love to Potter.”

 

The smile that forms on Astoria’s face says it all, Draco did the right thing, even though he’s sure he will break this promise. There is no way he can tell Potter that he loves him. He will really end up in jail and who would take care of Scorpius than? But it’s what Astoria wants to hear right now, so Draco will make her believe he means it.

 

“And I promise you, that I will be true to myself and stop pretending I’m straight,” he finishes.

 

“Thank you,” Astoria whispers. Her eyes close again and her breathing shallows out. She’s asleep in seconds. Draco gives her a kiss on her forehead before he stands up. He utters a ‘Nox’ and leaves the room. It’s time to get some dinner and maybe a little sleep.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

The letter in Draco’s hands feels heavy. The words swirl around on the paper. Draco struggles to read them even though McGonagall’s handwriting is neat and the message to the point. Draco is to collect Scorpius from her office tomorrow morning at ten. Draco looks at the watch on his left wrist. Today at ten, he is to collect Scorpius in seven hours. Not that it will matter anymore.

 

Daphne moves on the chair on the other side of the bed. She lifts her head and looks towards the bed. Draco follows her eyes. Astoria sleeps. Her breathing is shallow, more troubled by the minute. Draco pulls the back of his hand over his eyes, forces the tears to stop before they fall.

 

“She’s not going to make it to morning,” Draco says. His voice sounds rough, broken.

 

Daphne nods. “I know,” she sniffs. 

 

“I should have pulled Scorp out of school sooner, she wanted to say goodbye.” Draco looks at the picture next to Astoria’s bed. A young Scorpius smiles at Draco and then waves at the person behind the camera. Astoria always said it was her favourite picture of them. It was taken when they went to visit the beach one summer before Astoria got too weak to go out for long periods of time.

 

“No, it’s better this way,” Daphne says. “Now he won’t have to live with the memory of his mother like this for the rest of his life.”

 

Draco nods, Daphne might be right. She would know, would she? Draco remembers how she and Astoria left school for a couple of weeks during fourth year when their mother passed away. Astoria always said it was hard to witness those final moments, just before the end. It’s good that Scorpius won’t have to see this. That they had their final goodbye on the morning of the 1st of September before Draco took Scorpius to the train station alone. Scorp was in tears by then and Draco had been glad that Albus had already been there to comfort Scorpius. Potter had been friendly, even asked if there was anything he or Ginevra could do for them. Draco never told Astoria that Scorpius had cried. She doesn’t need to know how much it hurt Scorp to leave, knowing he would probably never see his mother again.

 

Astoria coughs and opens her eyes. A weak smile forms on her hollowed out face. Daphne smiles back at her. Draco blinks his eyes and lays the letter on the bedside table so he can take hold of Astoria’s hand. Astoria turns her head to Draco. She opens her mouth, but no sound seems to come out.

 

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m here,” Draco tells her.

 

Astoria blinks a couple of times and then opens her mouth again. A soft sound escapes them, but it’s too soft for Draco to hear properly. He bends his head towards her, holds his ear close to his mouth.

 

“Don’t forget your promise,” Astoria whispers.

 

A tear falls from Draco’s eye. He pushes it away with his free hand and then looks back at his wife. He doesn’t understand why this is so important to her, that she would use her final breaths for this. He swallows away the lump in his throat.

 

“I won’t, Tori. I will tell him, within a year. You have my word.”

 

“Tell what to whom?” Daphne asks. Astoria shakes her head and Daphne sits back into her chair, a questioning look pointed at Draco. Draco doesn’t care, it’s none of Daphne’s business. Astoria beckons Draco close again and Draco turns his head to listen to her final words.

 

“Tell Scorp… tell him that I love him and that it is okay to cry.”

 

“I will,” Draco sobs. He will have to tell Scorp in only a couple of hours. The enormity of it hits him out of nowhere. He knew this for months, that he would be the one that will tell his son that his mother had passed on. It felt so natural that he would do it. Only now, faced with Astoria’s last moments he hates her for making him break their son’s heart. He has to look away. The hate and anger seem to overwhelm him for a moment.

 

“I’m sorry, Draco,” Astoria soft voice tells him. Draco lets his head fall down onto Astoria’s chest, her hand is still in his and a faint squeeze comes from Astoria. Draco cries in loud sobs. He told himself he wouldn’t, not in front of Astoria, but he can’t stop them. He’s going to be alone, he will have to raise their son alone from now on, and Draco isn’t sure he can do it without Astoria. Astoria’s other hand finds his hair and starts to pet it like she’s done so many times before.

 

“I need you,” Draco cries. “You can’t leave me, please Tori, stay with me.”

 

“It’s okay, darling,” Astoria comforts him. “You’re strong. And I love…”

 

Astoria stops mid-sentence, her hand slides off Draco’s hair. Her other hand goes slack in Draco’s hand and Draco’s heart breaks. He can hear Daphne next to him, he feels how she checks Astoria’s pulls and then slides down the side of the bed. Her cries intertwine with Draco’s. He lifts his head slowly and looks at Astoria’s face. Her eyes are closed, he cheeks white and hollow. Her hair falls around her face.

 

“I love you too,” Draco tells her. And he does, more than he realised while she was still alive. She had been his rock after the war, pushed him to pursue his dreams, got him into healer training, comforted him when no clinic would take him on as an intern, helped him find a new meaning in life when it was clear he would never finish his training, gave him a beautiful son, raised him to be kind and loving. She did all that because she had loved Draco for whom he was, a broken gay man trapped in a life he never wanted because of his heritage, his own foolish actions during the war.

 

“Thank you, for never giving up on me,” Draco tells his dead wife. “For always believing in me, supporting me, loving me. I hadn’t deserved it, none of it. So thank you, sweetheart.” Draco strokes the back of his hand over Astoria’s cheek. “Thank you for everything,” he finishes before he rises up and kisses Astoria on her forehead. He lets her hand slip out of his own, takes one last look at his dead wife and then walks out of the room. He follows the hallway towards the stairs, his mind blank, his eyes overfilling with tears. He walks down the stairs, takes a turn around the corner until he’s inside the greenhouse, surrounded by the plants Astoria collected over the years. He falls to his knees. His hands grab onto the soil. A scream escapes him, followed by another, and another, until his voice is hoarse and his throat hurts. He rests his head on the floor and silently cries.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“I don’t want to go, Al,” Draco hears Scorpius say when he opens the door to his son’s dormitory. It has been a long time since Draco has been in the Slytherin dungeons, but they still look the same. The same paintings decorate the hallways towards the dormitories, the doors are still painted black, the curtains emerald. Even the sofas in the common room looked exactly the same as the ones that were there when Draco went to school here.

 

Scorpius stands in front of his bed, an open rucksack on it, some books next to it, his hand wavers over the books. Albus stands next to him. He drapes his arm over Scorpius’ shoulder and pulls him against his side.

 

“Everything is going to change now, I’ll leave here as a normal boy, but when I come back my mom will be dead,” Scorpius says.

 

Draco stays in the door frame, the door half open and watches his son. Scorpius still thinks he can come home to say goodbye to his mother. That there is still time. Draco doesn’t want to break his bubble, doesn’t want to see his son fall apart.

 

“Since when were you ever a normal boy?” Albus asks. They both laugh a little until Scorpius shakes his head and turns his attention back to his books.

 

“Will you come to the funeral?” Scorpius asks Albus without looking at him.

 

“I don’t know, I wrote to dad last night to ask if I could. I’m sure he will let me,” Albus says. He glances away from Scorpius for a second, pulls the sleeves of his shirt over his hands. “At least as long as mom doesn’t stop us.”

 

“I hope she doesn’t,” Scorpius responses. He continues to put books inside his rucksack. Albus turns around and sits down on Scorpius bed. He looks up and sees Draco standing in the doorway.

 

“Scorp,” Albus hesitates.

 

“What?” Scorpius says without taking his eyes off his books.

 

“I’ll be right outside the door if you need me,” Albus continues. He stands up and Scorpius turns to stop him. Scorpius his hand comes up and stops mid-air when he spots Draco standing in the doorway. His eyes lock with Draco’s and Draco knows he has to move forward, needs to be the adult now, the parent. He takes two steps forward, his eyes stay on Scorpius. Even when Albus passes him, greets him softly and disappears out of the room.

 

The door falls close behind Draco. His hands tremble and his eyes water.

 

“Daddy,” Scorpius begs, a tear slides over his cheek, his hand still hovers in mid-air.

 

Draco swallows before he speaks. “Scorp, your mother, she passed…”

 

“NO!” Scorpius screams. He runs to Draco, starts to beat his fists against Draco’s chest. Tears flow freely from his eyes, turning them red. “You said I could come to say goodbye, that you would come to get me before it was too late. You promised,” Scorpius yells.

 

Draco pulls Scorpius against his chest, folds his arms around his back and pulls him close. “I’m sorry, Scorp, I never mend to be too late. I thought she had longer still, that there was still time.”

 

“You promised,” Scorpius cries against Draco’s chest.

 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Draco answers. His voice breaks and he pulls Scorpius even closer. They cry together, for minutes, hours, seconds, Draco isn’t sure. It feels like an eternity before Scorpius lifts his head up and looks at Draco.

 

“Daddy, I don’t…” Scorpius takes a step back, pushes his hand over his eyes and wipes the tears away.

 

“Shh, it’s okay Scorp,” Draco says. He pulls Scorpius close to him again. He needs to feel his son close, needs to know that he’s okay, that they still have each other. “Cry as much as you need, scream at me as much as you need. It’s okay.”

 

“I don’t want to scream or hurt you, you are all I have left,” Scorpius says. He rests his head against Draco’s chest again. “Never leave me, daddy.”

 

Draco pets Scorpius hair. “I won’t. I promise I won’t, not for a long time.”

 

“Don’t break this promise,” Scorpius cries.

 

“I’ll try not to.”

 

“Okay,” Scorpius says. His arms fold around Draco’s waist and they hold each other for another moment.

 

“Can we go home, daddy?” Scorpius asks.

 

“Yes, as soon as you’re ready,” Draco tells him. “We can floo out of the headmistress office.”

 

Scorpius turns back to his backpack and pushes the last books into it. He closes the bag and pulls it over his shoulder. Together they walk out of the dormitory. Albus is waiting in the hallway, playing with the too-long sleeves of his shirt. Draco should tell Potter to buy him some proper shirts, ones that are tailored to Albus shorter arms.

 

“You okay?” Albus asks Scorpius.

 

Scorpius shakes his head. Tears start to fall again and Albus embraces Scorpius in seconds.

 

“Write me if you need anything, I’ll find a way out of this school to come to help you,” Albus says with a sideways look at Draco.

 

“Thank you,” Draco whispers at him. It is good to see that Scorpius has a friend who cares about him enough that he’s willing to break school rules for him. “I’ll inform your father about the funeral arrangements. I truly hope you and him will be able to attend.”

 

The boys part and Draco guides Scorpius towards the exit of the Slytherin dungeons. Other students give them questioning looks but keep their distance and their mouths shut. Together they leave the dungeons, make their way up to McGonagall’s office.

 

“Please inform us about when the funeral will be,” McGonagall tells Draco. He nods at her and turns towards her fire.

 

“Miss, will you give Al permission to come if it’s on a school day, please?” Scorpius asks. 

 

“I’ll have a chat with his parents about that, but I’m sure we can arrange something,” McGonagall says with a gentle smile on her face. “Harry understands the importance of having your friends around in times of need.”

 

“Thank you, ma’am,” Scorpius says.

 

“Yes, thank you for everything headmistress, but we really should be going now. Our family is waiting,” Draco says.

 

“Yes, of course. Give my condolences to Daphne, I’m sure she’s just as heartbroken as you.”

 

“I will,” Draco answers. “And thank you again.”

 

“You’re welcome, Draco,” McGonagall says.

 

Draco raises his eyebrows when he looks at her, he doesn’t think she has ever addressed him with his given name. She pats him on the shoulder. “Time to go now, right?” she asks.

 

Draco nods and turns back to the fire. He steps into it with Scorpius by his side. He utters his home address as the flames around them turn green and take them away from Hogwarts.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry stands in front of the bathroom mirror. He shaved this morning, made sure his hair is trimmed. It’s the only way to keep it from sticking out into every direction. At least not until it’s long enough to pull together into a ponytail. And Harry doesn’t want to have that fight again. It isn’t worth the trouble. Harry turns around and walks back into the bedroom, pulls on a black shirt and starts to button it up. The door opens and Ginny walks in.

 

“You’re really going then?” she asks.

 

Harry looks up at his wife. Her red braided hair falls over her shoulder. She’s all dressed for another day at work in a training suit. Harry wishes he could wear comfortable clothes like that to work, maybe it would make his days at the office a little more durable.

 

“Yes, I am,” Harry says. “For Albus and Scorpius.” He turns back to his buttons so he doesn’t have to see the disappointment on Ginny’s face.

 

“I told you I didn’t want you to,” Ginny says in a tone that usually precedes a fight.

 

Harry sighs and looks back at Ginny. “Albus needs this, Gin. It’s the first person he knows that has died.”

 

Gin shakes her head. “He wouldn’t have had to if you just had talked to Minerva to get him into Gryffindor in his first year. Then he wouldn’t have made friends with that Malfoy boy at all.”

 

“His name is Scorpius and that boy is burying his mother today, you could be a little more compassionate.”

 

“Compassionate,” Ginny laughs, “for that Malfoy scum? You do remember who his father is, right?”

 

“Yes, I know, Ginny,” Harry spits back. “I haven’t forgotten. And even if I would, you made it your mission to remind us every time Albus brings up Scorpius in one of his letters, or when he’s at home. I wish you could see how pathetic it is. Malfoy has tried so hard to be a better person, to be a good father. Maybe it’s time you forgive him for his foolishness when he was a teenager.”

 

“Forgive him!” Ginny yells. “If it hadn’t been for him Bill won’t have his awful scars, George would still have his ear and Fred would still be alive!”

 

“And if it wasn’t for him I would have died before I could have defeated Voldemort, or have a wand that would have been able to. It wasn’t like any of you were handing them out when I needed them,” Harry shouts back.

 

“He killed my brother, Harry!”

 

“No, he didn’t. He wasn’t even close to your brother when it happened. I know, because I was there. I had to watch him die, Gin,” Harry says. His voice wavers, a lump starts to form in his throat, and his eyes start to water. Harry hates it when he remembers the war, when he remembers the people they lost. It breaks his heart still, every single time.

 

“Don’t start crying now, you baby. He was not your brother,” Ginny spits at Harry. She looks at the clock. “You know, just do whatever you want, it’s not like you ever listen to me, anyway. I need to get to work.”

 

Ginny turns around and walks out of the room. Harry sits down on the bed, listens to the floo activate, knows Ginny has left, and then lets the tears fall. He will have to beg her for forgives tonight when she comes home and hope for the best. They will work it out, they always do. Ginny just worries about Harry because she loves him. Everything she does for their marriage is because she loves him, even when it hurts from time to time.

 

When the tears start to die down Harry gets up and finishes closing the buttons on his shirt. He pulls his suit-jacket on and turns to the stairs. He needs to hurry now or he and Albus will be late. He walks down the stairs, into the lounge and picks up some floo-powder. The green flames whisk around him and then he’s swirling into the darkness until he steps into Minerva’s office. It still looks the same as always, with the portraits of previous headmasters on the walls, Minerva’s desks and belongs scattered around. A huge black armchair stands in one of the corners. Albus sits in it, already in his best suit and his hair styled to perfection. He gives Harry a small smile when he sees him. Harry turns his lip into a smile even though he doesn’t feel like smiling at all. The last couple of days have been hard, with the fights, the constantly increasing workload, and the upset letters that had arrived from Albus.

 

Albus his smile falls quickly. “Is mom upset?” he asks.

 

Harry shakes his head. “It’s okay, she understands that this is important to you.”

 

“Dad,” Albus says, the word spread out over time.

 

“Really Albus, you don’t need to worry about it,” Harry interjects before Albus can get on a roll.

 

“You’re fighting again?”

 

Harry looks away, back at the fireplace. Sometimes he forgets how insightful his own son is. James is easily distracted and Lilly is so full of herself that she hardly ever notices, but Albus somehow always seems to know.

 

“I’m sorry,” Albus whispers. He sounds defeated. Harry snaps his head back towards his son. Albus looks at his hands that lay in his lap, fidgeting with the Slytherin ring he likes to wear. Harry takes two large steps and then bends down in front of the armchair. His hand pushes Albus his chin up so they can look at each other.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me, nothing at all,” Harry tells Albus.

 

“But you and mom always fight because of me,” Albus says.

 

Harry shakes his head. “You are not to blame if your mom and I fight.”

 

“But if I had just sorted Gryffindor, and hadn’t befriended Scorp you two wouldn’t fight so much,” Albus says.

 

“No more buts, Al. Today is hard enough and I promise you, neither your mom nor I blame you for anything. We just don’t always see eye to eye. But that’s nothing for you to worry about.”

 

Albus doesn’t look convinced and neither is Harry if he’s honest with himself. It all has gotten worse since Albus was sorted into Slytherin. Harry still can’t believe that Ginny had asked Minerva to transfer Albus into Gryffindor, even after Harry had explained that it wasn’t a mistake, that he himself was almost sorted into Slytherin too. Ginny hadn’t wanted to hear it, said it was an evil house, that it would do Albus no good to be separated from his family that much, stuck between pure-blood fanatics.

 

Harry rubs his hand over his left upper arm, follows the line of the scar present there.

 

“I don’t have to go if that makes it easier,” Albus suggests.

 

“Albus Severus Potter, we are going to this funeral. You’ve been wanting to ever since you discovered that Scorpius his mother was dying. And Scorpius will be happy to see you there. He’s your best friend, and no matter what your mother thinks of it, you have a right to go. Even the headmistress is giving you the day off to go.”

 

“Scorp needs me, daddy, but I don’t want to make it worse for you. I know how mean mommy can be, Scorp will understand,” Albus whispers.

 

Harry takes hold of Albus his hands and squeezes them slightly. “I’ve lost enough people I care about, Albus. And even though Scorpius will understand why you didn’t come, it will hurt him. If I hadn’t had your uncle Ron and aunt Hermione to help me I don’t think I could have dealt with it all. So don’t worry about me and your mom, we’ll be fine. You just worry about you and Scorpius, okay?”

 

Once Harry stops talking Albus leans forwards and hugs Harry. “Thank you, daddy,” he says.

 

Harry folds his arms around Albus and pulls him close. “Anything for you, Al.”

 

“I know daddy, I love you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

A small hand clings to Harry’s hand. Harry glances to the side and sees his son, his hair styled to perfection, wearing a clean and perfectly pressed suit. Only he looks young today, younger than thirteen, too young to go to a funeral. Harry wishes he could change things, that his son wasn’t here to support his best friend who had just lost his mother.

 

Together they step into the church. Their steps echo around while they pass the wooden pews that are mostly empty. The sun shines through the stained glass windows, casting lights over the stone steps, lighting up the coffin at the front. It’s surrounded by beautiful blue flowers, all in perfect condition. They must be preserved with a stasis charm to keep this well at this time of the year. Next to the coffin stands Scorpius, his face is turned away from the crowd. Malfoy stands next to the boy, his hand wavering in the space between them. His face scans the church and he gives Harry a small smile when he spots him. Harry nods at him, glad that his presence is appreciated. Harry never knows with Malfoy, sometimes he’s civil, sometimes he’s rude, sometimes he doesn’t say a word at all and just flees as soon as possible. Albus told Harry he shouldn’t worry about it, that it was nothing personal, that Scorpius’ dad just likes his privacy.

 

When they move closer Harry has to swallow away a lump in his throat. Malfoy’s face is puffy and his eyes are red. It’s obvious that he’s been crying. Harry had never expected Malfoy to not cover it up, make sure no-one could see it. But appearances don’t seem to need to be kept high when it comes to the funeral of your own wife.

 

“Dad?” Albus says next to Harry. Harry turns to face Albus. “Can I sit next to Scorpius?”

 

“I don’t know, Al. I think the front row is reserved for family only.”

 

Albus’ shoulders drop and he looks down at the ground.

 

“But we can ask them,” Harry continues.

 

“Can we?” Albus says in a small voice.

 

“Yes, we can. But I can’t promise you anything.”

 

“I know, dad,” Albus looks towards the front of the church again. “It’s just, that if you or mom would be dead I would like Scorp to be next to me.”

 

Harry lets go of Albus his hand to place his arm around Albus’ shoulders and pulls him against his side. “Scorpius is lucky to have a friend like you, Al,” he tells him. In ways, the two boys always remind Harry of how he and Ron used to be, ready to do anything for each other, no matter the consequences. Harry just hopes Albus and Scorpius never start doing things that can potentially kill them.

 

When they reach the front of the church Harry lets go of Albus and lets him approach his friend by himself. The boys stand next to each other, a little bit unsure about what to do. Scorpius wipes his hand across his nose, his mouth is downturned as he silently cries. Albus shuffles his feet over the floor and gently pets Scorpius on his shoulder. He says something to his friend and it seems to be the right thing. Scorpius gives Albus a hesitant smile and then lets himself fall into Albus his arms to hide his face against Albus his shoulder.

 

“Thank you for bringing Albus today,” a voice says next to him. Harry jumps a little and turns to look at Malfoy. “Scorpius was afraid that Albus won’t be able to come.”

 

“Ginny wasn’t too happy about it, but I remember how it was like to lose people, friends are important at those times.”

 

Malfoy stares at his hands that are clasped together in front of him. His voice breaks a little when he says that he wouldn’t know. Harry’s heart breaks at that statement. He suspected that Malfoy didn’t have a lot of real friends, not like he has Ron and Hermione, but hearing it out loud is an entirely different thing. What happened to all the people that used to swarm around Malfoy when they were at school? Did they all abandon him after the war, afraid Malfoy’s bad name would taint their own?

 

“Albus asked if he could sit next to Scorpius during the service. I told him he probably can’t, so if it’s not possible, that’s fine. He’s just really worried about his friend.”

 

“No,” Malfoy shakes his head and looks at the boys. “I think Scorpius would like that. And I’m sure Daphne won’t mind either that she has to slide one chair down. Not when it helps Scorp.”

 

“Okay, I’ll leave him with you then.” Harry looks around, wonders where he should sit. There aren’t a lot of people and they all sit scattered over the pews.

 

“You can sit behind us, if you want,” Malfoy says. His voice wavers like he’s not sure if he should ask. Harry looks at him in surprise.

 

“I don’t want to…” Harry starts but is cut short when Malfoy shakes his head.

 

“Astoria wouldn’t have mind, and it’s her party isn’t it?” A tear falls from Malfoy’s eye, he looks back at the coffin and wipes his hand over his eyes.

 

“I guess,” Harry agrees and he turns to the pews right behind the family.

 

“Do you and Albus want to join us at the wake, afterwards? We would both…” Malfoy’s voice breaks and he seems to be swallowing away more tears. “We would appreciate it if you could.”

 

“Yeah, no problem. Albus is off school for the entire day,” Harry answers him. In all the time he’s known Malfoy he’s never seen him like this. The shields let down, showing the brokenness and pain on the outside. And for the first time, Harry really wished he hadn’t pushed Malfoy away as a child. Somehow he’s sure they could have been friends, just like their sons are now.

 

Malfoy thanks Harry and turns back to his son and Albus. They all sit down and the vicar starts his long speech. A few songs are played, Daphne tells about how her sister was when she was younger, Malfoy breaks down when he is giving his speech, Scorpius helps him back to his seat and Harry is surprised to feel tears fall down his own cheeks.

 

After the service Harry and Albus find a little pub to have lunch before they make their way to Malfoy Manor for the wake. A shiver goes down Harry’s back when he enters the gates and walks up the long driveway towards the big house. He slips his hands into his pockets and glances at the massive doors at the front. Albus steps next to him are fast, he looks in a hurry to get inside and out of the cold.

 

A house elf opens the door for them and shows them to a small sitting room. People sit around on the sofa’s, talking quietly. Another house elf walks around with a plate filled with snacks. Harry looks around, spots Daphne talking to Luna Lovegood. He takes a step in their directions once Albus takes off to sit next to Scorpius, who was staring into his cup of tea like it was poison. Only Harry never makes it to the sofa. He spots Malfoy standing next to the hearth, his back turned to everyone around. His hand holds onto the ledge that holds pictures of Astoria and Scorpius and a large vase that holds the same flowers as at the funeral. Harry changes direction and comes to a stop next to Malfoy. Harry clears his throat and tries to think of anything to say.

 

“She loved Delphiniums, planted them all over the garden once Mother was gone,” Malfoy says. His voice breaks a little and he turns towards the flames.

 

Harry takes another look at the flowers, he assumes they are the Delphiniums and he can understand why Astoria would have liked them. The small blue flowers crowd around a long strong stem, standing tall and proud.

 

“They are very pretty,” Harry says and he feels like a klutz.

 

“Just don’t touch them, Potter. Don’t want you to drop dead at my wife’s wake,” Malfoy says. There is no heat in his voice like when they were still at school. It just sounds hollow. Harry wants to pat Draco on the back, or even pull him into a hug. The urge startles Harry and he looks back at the pictures. It’s strange to be in this house and see the signs of a happy family inside of it. It has been years, but the last time Harry was here it was taken over by Voldemort, the walls dark, the persons inside all out for his blood. Harry shakes away another shiver that runs down his back.

 

“You okay?” Malfoy asks next to him.

 

Harry shakes his head. “Bad memories,” he explains.

 

“Fuck, you haven’t been here since the war, haven’t you?”

 

Harry shakes his head again, he’s afraid to speak. Hermione’s screams ring in his ears, the world around him starts to spin, Dobby smiles at him and then closes his eyes. Harry needs to get away, get out of this place, but he can’t move.

 

And then a strong hand grabs his arm and pulls him out of the room, across the hall and into the garden. Harry gets pushed into a garden chair and he rests his head in his hands.

 

“Breath, Potter, just breath with me,” Malfoy says next to him. Harry breaths in, holds his breath until Malfoy tells him to let it out. He lets Malfoy guide his breathing until his ears stop ringing. Harry looks up to see Malfoy on his knees in front of him, his hands on Harry’s chair, making sure Harry can’t fall off. Worry is written on his face.

 

“You okay?” Malfoy asks Harry.

 

“Yeah,” Harry chokes. He can’t take his eyes off Malfoy, of his light grey eyes that are puffy from too much crying, his splotchy skin, his short blond hair, his pointy cheekbones, his bleak lips.

 

Malfoy lets his head fall down, looks at the floor. “Don’t scare me like that again, you bloody bastard.”

 

“Sorry,” Harry responses. “I’ve haven’t had one of those in years.”

 

Malfoy gets up and sits down on the chair next to Harry. He signs. “In those first years, I woke up almost every night screaming, afraid he would still be here.” Malfoy looks out into the garden when Harry looks at him.

 

“Why did you never move?” Harry asks.

 

Malfoy shakes his head. “Mother, I couldn’t leave her alone.” Malfoy plays with one of the rings on his hand, Harry remembers it. Malfoy already had it when they went to Hogwarts. “And after she was gone, I couldn’t bear to pull Scorpius away from his favourite places by moving away from here. He doesn’t see the dark things that happened here. For him, it’s just his home.”

 

“Albus is always so amazed about this place, I never had the courage to tell him what happened here, how one of my closest friends died saving me.”

 

“Dobby,” Malfoy says. It isn’t really a question but Harry answers it anyway with a nod of his head.

 

“I loved that elf. Before you set him free he always tried to help me when Father would be angry at me. It was fun growing up with him around. I’m glad you gave him freedom. It’s all he ever wanted. To go see the world for himself.”

 

Harry’s eyes fill with tears. “He tried to harm me on multiple occasions in second year because he wanted to save me. I ordered him then to never save me again. Sometimes I wish he hadn’t.”

 

They are quiet, just stare at the flowers surrounding the patio. Blue Delphiniums are everywhere. Harry isn’t sure, but it feels the wrong time for them to flower.

 

“What’s up with all the flowering plants? I’m no herbalist, but I’m sure freezing weather means no flowering plants,” Harry says.

 

“Astoria did something with them, I’m not sure. They flower almost the entire year.”

 

“It looks amazing.”

 

Draco laughs. “Wait until you have to look at them every day, you’ll get bored quick enough.”

 

A door behind them opens and two pair of footsteps move closer.

 

“Dad, can Al and I go up to my room?” Scorpius soft voice asks. Malfoy turns around and Harry follows his gaze. Albus and Scorpius stand close together, both their eyes red from tears.

 

Malfoy nods shortly. “Sure, Scorp. Just tell Mila if you need anything, okay?”

 

“Yes, dad,” Scorpius answers. He and Albus turn around and leave Harry alone again with Malfoy. His nemesis from his school days, his enemy during the war. And now they are having a civil conversation. Harry can’t quite believe how easy it is to talk to Malfoy, how he says things he usually keeps to himself. Time goes on, Draco tells about Astoria, about her crazy ideas, her illness and Harry just listens. His heart aches when the sun starts to go down and Malfoy tells Harry that he and Astoria used to sit down on their balcony together to watch it set behind the trees. It sounds like the perfect end of a day. Only Harry has no idea, Ginny never cared about privet shows of affections, still doesn’t. She prefers to shout at Harry for being home late again from a job she won’t let him quit.

 

A little later the house elf that had opened the door for Harry and Albus comes to bring food and announces that all the guest has left and that Daphne is asleep in her rooms. Harry watches as Malfoy pushes his food around on his plate without really eating any of it. Harry takes a couple of bites and is amazed by the perfectly cooked steak in front of him. He finishes it completely before he tells Malfoy he should better get Albus and bring him back to Hogwarts. They get up together and Malfoy shows him the way to Scorpius room. When they open the door they find the two boys asleep on the floor, a big album filled with pictures next to them. Malfoy walks into the room, ready to wake them up.

 

“Let them sleep,” Harry says. “I’m sure Minerva will be okay with Albus taking an extra day off.”

 

Malfoy looks back at Harry, relieve clear on his face. “Thank you,” he utters. “Scorp will be happy to have Albus with him.”

 

“I can come to pick him up on Sunday afternoon if it’s not too much trouble to have him here.”

 

Malfoy nods. “That is fine, Mila and Toby will help out if necessary.”

 

They stand together in the doorway, silence surrounds them. Harry knows he should leave, go home and face the firing squad. Only he doesn’t want to, he wants to stay, talk some more with Malfoy. He shakes his head, what is he doing? Malfoy and he aren’t friends, never have been and never will be.

 

“Can I floo from here? I really hate to walk all the way down that creepy driveway again,” Harry finally asks.

 

Malfoy seems to snap out of whatever he was thinking. “Yeah, of course. The floo is in the drawing room, let me show you.”

 

They walk down the stairs in silence, say nothing while entering the drawing room. Harry takes a hand of floo powder and steps into the flames. He takes one more look at Malfoy and then he’s spinning, back home.


	2. Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it took me forever to finish this chapter, sorry about that. It was harder to get the flow right in this chapter because it spans over a long period of time. I hope you all like it even though both of our boys are struggling with their feelings and commitments.

Harry can’t believe he’s doing this. But Albus his letter had been heartbreaking and Harry just has to do what Albus asked. It’s the right thing to do, even if it means more fights at home. Ginny had been civil during Christmas when the kids were at home. They pretended to be happy at the Burrow. Ginny even kissed him and took him to bed afterwards. But as soon as Albus had asked to go visit Scorpius all hell had broken loose. Harry still has trouble bending his knee, not that anyone has noticed, it’s not like he’s doing any field work as the head of the Auror office.

 

And now, only two weeks later, Harry is going to make things even worse. He stands in front of the gates and takes a couple of deep breaths. He reminds himself that it’s just a house, forces the memories of being dragged down the driveway by Snatchers down. He’s here to check on Malfoy so he can tell Albus that Scorpius doesn’t need to worry. It’s no big deal, it’s just a simple house call. He’s done plenty of those as an Auror, he’s trained for this.

 

Harry shivers and looks back up at the gate. A face had formed on it and asked him for his business a couple of minutes ago. Harry hasn’t answered it, not sure what to say. Harry looks back at the face. It looks annoyed now. Harry scrapes his throat and opens his mouth.

 

“I’m here to see Malfoy, his son asked me to see if he was doing okay.”

 

“Name?” the gate snaps.

 

“Potter, uhm, Harry Potter. Albus his father.”

 

The gate swirls and the face is gone. Harry pushes his hands further into his pockets. He lets out a breath that fogs up in front of him and waits. He’s sure he will be asked to leave once Malfoy hears who’s standing at his gate. It was stupid of him to come, he should have just sent a letter and be done with it. Harry is just about to turn around and leave when the gates open. Harry shakes his head and starts to walk, up the long driveway. One of the house elves is waiting for him at the door. She takes Harry’s coat and then shows him to a small sitting room at the end of the hall. Harry looks around, takes in the light blue wallpaper, the dark wooden floorboards, the cosy fire in the hearth that warms up the room. A sofa stands with its back turned to Harry, accompanied by two smaller lounge chairs. Harry walks towards them, he plans to sit down in front of the fire and wait for Malfoy. He steps around the sofa and stops in his tracks. The sofa isn’t empty. Malfoy lays on it, his face towards the fire, his body covered by a blanket.

 

“Hi,” Harry stutters.

 

Malfoy doesn’t respond and Harry wonders if he should check if he’s awake. He looks around the room, at the door he just came from, for only a second before he turns back to stare at Malfoy. Harry knows he should leave, let him sleep, but he’s stuck, glued to the floor.

 

“Are you just going to stand there all day?” Malfoy utters. “I promise that the chairs won’t harm you in any way.”

 

Harry shakes his head. “You’re awake?”

 

“It appears so,” Malfoy answers.

 

“I’m sorry, I…” Harry isn’t sure what to say. He turns and sits down on the chair closes to Draco’s feet. He claps his hands together and looks at the fire.

 

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. You can tell Scorpius that I’m fine.”

 

“That why you are laying on a sofa in the middle of the day?”

 

“I don’t have work today, so I don’t see the problem with chilling on the sofa.”

 

Harry lets out a small laugh. “I guess your right.”

 

“Is Harry Potter telling me I’m right?” Malfoy lifts his head up so he can look at Harry. A small smile forms on his face and Harry smiles back at him.

 

“I guess I am, seems miracles still happen.”

 

They both laugh and Malfoy sits up a little straighter on the sofa. He pulls his legs towards his chest and folds his arms around them. Harry is surprised to see that Malfoy is wearing a comfy sweater, it makes him feel overdressed in his white shirt and blazer.

 

“So what brings the saviour of the wizarding world to my house on this cold and gloomy Saturday afternoon?”

 

Harry looks at the floor. “Don’t call me that,” he whispers.

 

“Okay, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, Potter. I’m just surprised to see you here. I would think you have better things to do on your day off.”

 

Harry looks back at Malfoy, he can’t believe the man just apologised. “You’ve changed,” he says.

 

Malfoy looks at his knees and shakes his head. “Astoria made sure I stopped being an insufferable git. Teach me some real manners, instead of the crab my parents called manners and proper behaviour.”

 

“You must miss her a lot.”

 

“You have no idea,” Malfoy looks back up, “she was my compass, showed me how to be a better man. I’m scared I’ll slip now she’s gone.” He blinks with his eyes. Harry watches him swallow before Malfoy continues. “I can’t go back to being that man, Potter. I don’t want to become my father.”

 

“You won’t,” Harry says with a confidence he didn’t know he had. But when he looks at Malfoy he sees a man that wants to be good, not a man desperate for power and status. Just a man that wants to be a good father to his son. There is no way Malfoy will become like Lucius.

 

“How can you say that? You hardly know me.”

 

“I see how you treat your son, Malfoy, it’s nothing like how your father was with you. And you think Albus never talks about how amazing Scorpius’ dad is, it drives Ginny up the wall whenever he starts about you, how much fun it is to stay over at your place.”

 

Malfoy looks at the fire and Harry joins him. He watches the flames and tries not to think of the fire that still hunts some of his dreams. Of the solid body against his back when they flew to safety while one of Malfoy’s best friends burned. For a moment he wonders if Draco thinks of the same when he looks into the flames. Silence stretches around them.

 

“I’m scared, Potter,” Malfoy says. His voice is soft and Malfoy keeps his eyes on the fire. Harry looks at him and wonders why they are so open to each other. It’s just as after the funeral. Harry feels like he can just say what’s on his mind, without the fear of being scolded for it. And it looks like it’s the same for Malfoy. Somehow they help each other and Harry would be lying to himself if he’d say he hates it. It feels good, right somehow. 

 

“You don’t have to be. I’ll help you, tell you when you start being an insufferable git again.”

 

Malfoy looks at Harry with wide open eyes. “You want to help me?”

 

“I’m here now, aren’t I?”

 

“That’s just because your son is best friends with mine and I haven’t been writing Scorpius as much as normal.”

 

Malfoy starts to turn the ring on his right hand around, the same one he was playing with after the funeral. Harry wonders if it’s a nervous tick, something Malfoy does without realising it. Harry doesn’t really know what to say. Malfoy isn’t wrong, the main reason Harry came all this way was because of Albus his letter. But he does want to help Malfoy, why he can’t say, it’s just the feeling that this is were Harry should be right now.

 

“I like hanging out with you, Malfoy. Or little chats are the highlight of my day.”

 

“You need to get a better life than, Potter.”

 

“Maybe, still doesn’t change that I’m here now and that I want to help. I’ll try to be a substitute compass until you find someone else that is more acquitted for the job.”

 

Malfoy looks back at the fire. “You don’t have to save me, Potter.”

 

“Not trying to save you, just trying to be your friend.”

 

Harry is surprised when Malfoy let’s out a short laugh and then hides his face between his knees. When Malfoy looks up again he raises his eyebrow. “You want to be my friend?” Malfoy asks.

 

“Yes, you git, what’s so hard to believe about that?”

 

“O, nothing at all.” Malfoy flaps his hand around. “Just that you are the saviour, the chosen one, head Auror and role model of the entire wizarding world and I’m a convicted war criminal, a Death Eater, and shunned all through wizarding Britain. How will the world take it when you start hanging out with me?”

 

Harry turns his face away, he can feel the moisture building up in his eyes. It always comes back to this, the role he’s supposed to live up to. He defeated one crazy wizard and now everyone thinks they can tell him what to be, or how to behave.

 

“Fine, I won’t bother you again,” Harry says. He slowly gets up from the chair and walks toward the door. He doesn’t look at Draco, afraid he’ll see the pain in Harry’s eyes. “I just thought you could use another friend, guess I was wrong,” he chokes when he opens the door.

 

“Fuck you, Potter,” Draco spits out as Harry closes the door behind him. Harry just keeps walking, down the hall back to the entrance. The house elf is already there waiting to hand him his coat. Harry thanks her and almost runs back to the gates. As soon as he’s off Malfoy property he disapparates, tears already streaking his face.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

The door slams behind Harry. He walks down the street as fast as he can. Tears stream down his face and his body aches. Harry struggles to stay upright. He stumbles into the alley and apparates away. He lets the darkness guide him, take him away from the hell he calls home.

 

It takes some time before the ground feels solid under his feet again. Harry bents forwards and vomits. His world is spinning around him and for a moment he’s scared he splinced himself. But the pain he feels is the same pain he felt before. He knows he broke all the rules, he had no destination in mind, not a clear one anyway. He just wanted to get away, to go somewhere safe.

 

When he looks up he’s just in time to see the face on the gates disappear, it hadn’t spoken like the last time and Harry worries he will be left here waiting for a long time. Alone. Harry pulls his arms around his waist and closes his eyes again. He should go, find Hermione at work, or Ron at the shop. Only there are so many people he’ll have to pass before he will get to his destination. So many people will see him like this. It will only anger Ginny more when she finds out. And Harry has no doubt in his mind that she will, somehow she always does. Sooner or later he will hurt because of it.

 

“Mister Potter, are you okay, sir?” The voice of one of Malfoy’s elves comes from his right. “Boulder said you were sick on arrival.”

 

Harry opens his eyes and turns to face the small elf next to him. He can’t recall her name. Malfoy had addressed her during the wake, only Harry can’t recall how he had called her.

 

“You should come inside, I’ll make mister Potter a cup of tea so you can recover.”

 

The elf snaps her fingers and the gate opens before them. She starts to walk and Harry just looks after her. “I can’t recall your name,” he says.

 

“You want to know my name?” the elf asks while she turns to face Harry.

 

“Yes, I know Malfoy said it, I wanted to remember, but it seems it slipped my mind. I’m sorry, I should have tried harder to remember.”

 

A small smile forms on the elf’s face. “Most wizards don’t care for the names of servants of others.”

 

“They should.”

 

“Maybe, but it’s good to see that master’s friends do. My name is Mila” Mila turns around and starts to walk again. “Now come along Mister Potter, that tea won’t make itself.”

 

Harry follows Mila down the long driveway up to the house, down a small path to the side and through a plain door into the kitchen. Mila summons the teapot and places it on the stove. She points at a chair that stands around a small table. Harry sits down and looks at the two other chairs. The seating area of the chairs is higher than on normal chairs, like they are made for smaller people to sit comfortably.

 

“You have your own chairs?” Harry asks.

 

Mila looks at him with a soft smile. “Yes, Master Malfoy insisted on it, he hated that we had to stand on our chairs to reach the table during dinner.”

 

“That is nice of him,” Harry says. Maybe if Harry had done the same for Kreacher he would have been more pleasant to be around. He’s kind of ashamed that he never took the time to make his home more elf proof when Kreacher was still alive.

 

A plate with biscuits slides onto the table, soon followed by two teacups. The kettle boils and Mila pours the water into the teapot. She takes it and walks it to the table.

 

“Yes, Master Malfoy is much kinder than his father. It’s sad that only I and Toby stayed to help him after he freed us all. But I can understand, most of us had formed more bad than good memories here. It was hard when the Dark Lord returned and claimed the Manor for himself. I only wish they would have seen how Mistress Astoria has turned the place around, with her plants and flowers. All the dark spots have gone, there are no more traces of the evil things that man did here. She brought light back into this house.” Mila wipes her hand over her eyes. “I’m sorry, I should not cry in front of guest.”

 

“You must miss her.”

 

“We all do. She was good for us, all of us. And most of all for Master Malfoy.”

 

Harry sips his tea, it’s warm and calming, just what Harry needed.

 

“Thank you for the tea,” Harry starts. “It’s really good. And I loved our talk, but I… I would like to see Malfoy today and…” Harry is not sure how to finish that sentence. Talk to him, spend time with him, want to feel safe. It all sounds like too much to ask for from a person that’s not even really your friend.

 

“Mister Potter, I’m sorry but Master Malfoy isn’t at home. He’s at work today.”

 

“Malfoy works?”

 

“Yes, Mister Potter, he works most days now, hardly takes any time off since the last time you’ve been here. Toby and I are very worried.” Mila shakes her head before she continues. “He’s always late for dinner. At least he still eats the food I leave out for him.”

 

Harry stares at Mila’s worried face. Her bright yellow eyes are locked with his, asking him, begging him to do something. Harry blinks and looks down at his tea. His hand still shakes from the hex that hit it before he ran out of his own house. And then his mind decided that this was the safest place for him to go, to Malfoy’s doorstep. Harry is not sure what that says about him. It’s not like their last conversation ended friendly.

 

“Mister Potter, I wouldn’t ask if I could go see that he’s okay for myself. It’s only that he works with muggles, and they can’t see me.”

 

Harry nods his head. Even if Draco doesn’t want to be his friend, the least he can do is help this kind elf that looked after him just now. “Sure, I’ll go and talk to him. I can’t promise you anything, it’s not like he listens to me.”

 

“That’s fine, sir. Just let me know he doesn’t hide away in a bottle like his parents did. It’s all I need to know.”

 

“Okay, yeah, I can do that,” Harry answers. “Where can I find him?”

 

“In Cherhill, Mister Potter, his office is on Olivers Hill, just off the Main Road.”

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Yes, this is perfect. Just keep your eyes on her belly,” Draco says. “You two look beautiful like this.”

 

Fiona giggles and her eyes sparkle. Draco rotates his camera and takes a close-up of her face. He wonders if his eyes sparkled like that when Astoria was pregnant with Scorpius, or if the worry about her deterring health was already plastered over his face.

 

“You should stop flattering my wife, Draco. I don’t want her to leave me only moments before I’m giving birth to her son.”

 

“Don’t worry, Janet. I’m not planning on ever marrying again. Don’t think anyone can ever replace Astoria.” Draco lowers his camera and looks at the picture of Astoria and Scorpius that hangs on the wall to the left.

 

Janet her eyes go wide. “Oh, I’m sorry Draco. I didn’t think. Fuck.”

 

Draco gives her a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, Janet.” Two soft pairs of eyes look at him, the sparkle from before has disappeared. “Now stop worrying about me, and get back to looking at each other like you can’t live without each other. I won’t have you ladies look like this on these pictures.”

 

Janet wipes her hand over her eye. She’s going to cry, Draco can see it coming. Stupid hormones. Astoria was the same when she was pregnant. Crying because of every little injustice in the world.

 

“I think we’re going to need a minute,” Fiona says. “If that’s okay?”

 

“Sure, take all the time you need. I’ll just check the front of the shop.”

 

Fiona thanks Draco and Draco walks through the door, into his little gallery. He stops just two steps in. Potter stands with his back towards Draco, his hand sliding over the frame of the picture he’s looking at. There’s a small tremble in his arm, a tremble Draco’s mother used to have from time to time.

 

Draco closes his eyes and shakes his head briefly, clearing his head. Now is not the time to think of those awful years.

 

“What are you doing here, Potter?”

 

Potter turns around in a quick spin, his hands flay a little and it almost looks like he’s going to fall over. His eyes widen and he plasters a smile on his face. But not before Draco sees the longing that was in it before. And it doesn’t hide the red around his eyes.

 

“I… Well, I…” Potter stammers. His eyes fly around the room like he wants to run back out of the door.

 

“Are you okay?” Draco asks.

 

“I just came to check on you. Mila is worried about you, asked if I could see if you weren’t drinking yourself to death.” Potter puts his hands in his jeans pocket. His arm is still trembling and Draco can’t look away from his rid rimed eyes. But it’s clear Potter doesn’t want to talk about it.

 

“You can tell her I’m fine,” Draco assures him. “When did you speak to her? If she’s bothering you too much, say so, I’ll tell her to stop.”

 

Potter looks back at the wall, scans another picture. “It’s fine. I think I bother her more, showing up unannounced on your doorstep.”

 

“I thought you wouldn’t bother me again,” Draco spits. He hasn’t forgotten how Potter had walked out after promising he would help Draco. They hadn’t spoken since, not a word from the saviour that gives up before he even started. All his bullshit about wanting to be his friend and then taking it back only seconds later. Potter doesn’t know, but that had hurt more than losing Astoria. It had made Draco feel more alone than he already was.

 

Potter turns his head to the ground. His leg shuffles over the floor. “I know I said that. It’s just, I didn’t mean it. But you…”

 

Draco wants to tell him to shove it, tell him he’s sure he didn’t do anything wrong. But then Potter looks up and a small tear escapes one of his eyes. Draco wonders what happened to make Potter look so vulnerable.

 

“I asked you not to call me that, and then you did it anyway. I hate when people use that word.”

 

Draco tries to remember the conversation Potter and he had all those weeks ago, tries to remember what he said that upset Potter enough to just run out. But he doesn’t get a chance to ask what it was. Potter seems to find his voice and continues.

 

“And to be honest, I didn’t offer to be your friend to save you, or because I think you need more friends. I was there because I need one, Malfoy. I really need a friend right now,” Potter chokes. It’s clear he’s trying to not fall apart and Draco wants to walk up to him and pull him into a hug. But they aren’t even really friends, there is no way Potter would be okay with a hug now, would he? So Draco just nods his head, if a friend is what Potter needs right now, Draco will be that friend. There is no way he can turn the love of his life away when he stands in front of him like this.

 

“You want to talk about what happened?” Draco asks.

 

“Not really, I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

 

Draco nods and waves his hand towards the door just came from. “Just give me a second. I’ve got clients at the back. If it’s okay with them you can sit down in the studio, until I’m done.”

 

Potter nods and Draco turns back to his studio. He’s glad to see that Janet is smiling again, her hands on her massive belly.

 

“Draco, come and feel this, the baby is kicking like crazy.”

 

Draco walks up to the ladies and places his hand on Janet’s pregnant belly. “I have a favour to ask of you both,” Draco starts. “A friend of mine just showed up. He’s kind of upset. I think he had a fight with his wife and I don’t want to leave him out there alone until I’m done.”

 

“Well, make him come in here. I’m curious to see who you find worthy enough to call friend,” Fiona says.

 

“Thank you,” Draco says before he hurries back to the door and calls for Potter. Potter walks in and greets the ladies with a hesitant smile. Draco tells him he can take a seat on the sofa and he has to force himself to pick up his camera and focus on his clients again. His heart aches when Potter sits down and pulls his legs up the sofa. His arms fold around his legs and he rests his head on his knees. He looks so beautiful like that, a perfect picture. Only Draco doesn’t dare to take it, afraid Potter will get upset. With effort he turns around and tells the ladies in front of him to move closer together.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

The wizard at the front desk looks like he’s just been told a joke and Draco wishes he could just hex him and walk past him. He doesn’t have time for this, his next client will be at his studio in under an hour.

 

“You want to go to the Auror department to talk to Auror Potter?” the wizard asks.

 

“Yes, like I said. I’m here to see Auror Potter.”

 

“And you think that Auror Potter has time for scum like you?” The words are poison. Draco fights to hold his temper, but he can’t help but snap at the wizard at the front desk. 

 

“Well, he had time for me last Sunday, so I don’t see why he wouldn’t have time for me now.”

 

“Sure he did.” The wizard rolls his eyes. “I can assure you he can’t see you today. Please leave the ministry and never come back, Mister Malfoy.”

 

Draco signs. He should have known that this would happen. He looks at the paper bag in his hand. He ordered some pizza, ones he knows Potter will like if his taste is anything like his son’s. If this bastard would only let him through.

 

“I don’t think you understand, sir. Potter and I are friends and we have an appointment to have lunch together,” Draco tries again. It’s been years since he had been here, and he had hoped that maybe the wizarding world would be kinder to him now. It hurts to learn that people still hate him.

 

“Mister Malfoy, if you don’t leave now, I’ll be forced to call security. I’m sure they would love a reason to throw you in Azkaban, sir.”

 

Draco knows it’s over. That he’s not getting into the ministry. Not without Potter’s help at least. Maybe if he can get a message to him, he can come down and they can have lunch outside somewhere.

 

“Can you at least send Potter a message to let him know I’m downstairs?”

 

“Now sir,” the wizard says. He raises his wand in warning and Draco knows he needs to give up. It’s just that he can’t get the sight of Potter out of his mind. How he was curled up on the sofa in Draco’s studio, his eyes red and his arm trembling. A surprise visit with lunch seemed a good idea to check up on him. Draco just wants to know that Potter is fine. He can’t help it, those feelings he tries to press down every time he thinks of Potter take over from time to time. Astoria wasn’t wrong when she guest that Draco had been in love with Potter since Hogwarts. Draco knows it’s hopeless, that Potter will never feel the same about him, but that’s fine. As long as Potter is happy, Draco can love him without ever saying a word.

 

Draco turns around and starts to walk to the apparition point. He tries to ignore the looks people give him, the distaste that is so obvious on most of the faces around him. And it’s okay that they still blame him, that they hate his name. Draco just hopes that Scorpius isn’t subjected to treatment like this. Mistress McGonagall had assured him that Scorpius is being treated as any other student, but Draco still wonders. If other wizards still look at him like he’s Voldemort himself, it might also reflect on Scorpius.

 

“Malfoy?” a vaguely familiar voice asks behind him. Draco turns and then freezes. Hermione Granger stands behind him, dressed like a real ministry worker, with her hair pulled to the back, fitting robes that show off her figure and a couple of books under her arm.

 

“Hello Granger, uhm Weasley?”

 

“Granger still, I think there are already plenty of Weasley’s in this world,” Granger says with a small smile on her face.

 

“Don’t disagree with you there.”

 

“Thought you might. What brings you to the ministry?”

 

Draco isn’t sure what to answer. He has no idea if Potter has told the other members of the golden trio about their attempt at being friends. And if he even wants others to know. Maybe coming here was a mistake.

 

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

 

Granger nods and makes a move to turn around and walk back into the ministry, only to stop halfway and focuses back on Draco. “I’m sure you heard it enough by now, and I know it doesn’t really help. But I’m sorry for your loss.”

 

“Thank you, Granger.”

 

“I know it’s none of my business,” Granger starts, “it’s that Harry mentioned that you looked really heartbroken at the funeral, and I’ve seen what the Daily Prophet wrote afterwards.”

 

“What’s your point, Granger. I don’t have all day.”

 

“Yes, sorry, I’m making no sense. What I wanted to ask is, are you and Scorpius okay? Nobody is bothering you, or anything?”

 

“No, don’t worry, the only person bothering me is that stupid wizard at the front desk.” Draco snaps. He has no idea what has been in the Daily Prophet, Draco hasn’t read that paper in years. But Potter had said he looked heartbroken. Potter had cared enough to discuss him with his friends.

 

“Oh, Bernard. Yes, he can be a piece of work. I hope he didn’t give you too much trouble.”

 

“No problem at all, just wouldn’t let me into the ministry.”

 

“What?!?” Granger her eyes narrow and glance at the front desk. “He has no right to stop you from entering.”

 

“Don’t worry about it Granger, I’m used to it.”

 

Granger taps her feet and turns her narrowed eyes on Draco. “That still doesn’t give him the right, if you have an appointment in the ministry he can only stop you from entering if you are a security risk. And we both know you’re not that dangerous.”

 

“Opinion about that seem to vary. But really, it’s fine. Potter doesn’t even know I was going to come by today.”

 

“You’re here to see Harry?” Hermione asks. She bites her lip while Draco nods in affirmation. “And you brought him lunch?” she ads when she looks at the paper bag in Draco’s hand.

 

“Well, he did mention he forgets to eat when he’s at work half of the time.”

 

“He told you about his work?” Granger her eyes widen and she shakes her head.

 

“Yes, Granger, he told me about how he sits in his office all day, reading through boring reports in the hope that the pile of paperwork will ever go down.”

 

“I can’t believe…” Granger looks around, her lip between her teeth again. Then her jaw sets and she looks Draco straight in the eyes. “You’re coming with me.”

 

“Granger, they won’t let me in. I don’t want any trouble,” Draco tries to tell her. But Granger has already turned around and walks towards the front desk. Draco hurries to follow her.

 

“Granger, I’m serious, I can’t get into trouble.”

 

“You won’t. Bernard knows not to mess with me.”

 

They reach the front desk and Bernard his eyes widen. “Miss Granger,” he stammers, “welcome back.”

 

“Thank you, Bernard. Now would you be so kind as to make a visitors pass for mister Malfoy here? He’ll be visiting Auror Potter today.”

 

“Okay, miss. No problem at all.”

 

“I’m glad to hear that. I would hate to inform your boss that you refused entrance to one of Auror Potter’s friends.”

 

“It won’t happen again, Miss Granger.”

 

In no time Bernard pulls out a visitor pass for Draco and hands it over. Draco follows Granger to the elevators and she guides him to the Auror department. They don’t really talk in the elevator, but as soon as they step out and are alone in the corridor, Granger stops and turns to face Draco.

 

“It was good to see you again, Malfoy. Harry’s office is at the end of this hall. Just enter when he doesn’t answer when you knock, he likes to pretend that he’s not there.”

 

“Thank you, Granger. It was good to see you too.”

 

“And if you do anything that will harm Harry, I’ll make it my personal business to get you locked up.”

 

Before Draco can respond, Granger is already back in the elevator. Draco shakes his head. Did she just warm him not to hurt Potter, like a sister warns off a new boyfriend? No, she most just be worried about the fact that Potter hangs out with a convicted war criminal. Like Draco doesn’t realise how this could affect Potter, and the public opinion about him.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

There’s a short knock on the door before it opens and Malfoy walks into the office. Harry smiles at him briefly and turns back to the face inside his fireplace.

 

“I’ll talk to Ginny, and see if we can make it this Sunday.”

 

“Harry, I know you and Ginny have busy jobs, but it’s a Sunday. I’m sure both of you can get some time off.”

 

“I know, Molly. And I’ll be there for sure. It’s just, well Ginny her team isn’t doing that great and, it just keeps her busy.”

 

“It’s okay, Harry. Just talk to her, tell her we miss her. We haven’t seen her in months.”

 

“I will, Molly, I promise.” Harry has no clue how he’s going to do it. Ginny hardly talks to him since she realised where Harry disappears to in the weekends when she’s at work, pushing her players to extremes to get back into winning.

 

“That’s all I as,” Molly continues. “Now go and see to whoever just entered your office. I’m sure it’s more important than your mother-in-law inviting you for dinner.”

 

“Thanks, Molly. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

 

Without another word Molly disappears from the flames. Harry sighs and gets up from his knees.

 

“The Weasley’s giving you a hard time?” Malfoy asks.

 

Harry turns around and sees Malfoy has planted himself in Harry’s desk-chair and is unpacking some takeaway boxes on the desk.

 

“No, Molly is great. It’s just…” Harry looks back towards the flames, and then to the picture on the mantel. His children smile at him from different pictures.  It brings a smile back to Harry’s face. It was good seeing them during the Easter break, hear about all their adventures in person.

 

“Ginevra doesn’t want to go see mommy and daddy when she’s on a losing streak.”

 

“Something like that.”

 

Harry sits down on the extra chair he pulled into his office when it had become clear that Malfoy his lunch visit wasn’t a one-time occurrence. He looks at the food in front of him. Chinese or something similar. He’s stopped asking a couple of weeks ago. It’s not like Harry can remember the difference between all the exotic things Malfoy brings along. And it doesn’t really matter, it all tastes amazing. Malfoy hands him some chopsticks and Harry picks up one of the boxes.

 

“She hardly had time for the kids when they were home from school. Always off to train or something. She doesn’t really talk about it that much.”

 

Malfoy hums and brings another mouthful of noodles to his mouth. He always does that, give Harry the space to speak his issues without judgement. It’s refreshing. It’s not like Harry can talk to Ron and Hermione about all this. Ginny is still Ron’s little sister and it shows when Harry tries to complain about her. Hermione is easier, less judgemental, but still, she’s married to Ron and everything Harry tells her comes back to Ron.

 

“I got called in on the Tuesday, had to drop the kids off at the Burrow. I know Molly doesn’t mind. But still, Ginny was supposed to take some days off. The kids missed her.”

 

“Did you tell her?”

 

“I did, not that she cared.” Harry shakes his head, he doesn’t really want to think about that night. It was the evening after Easter brunch at the Burrow. Ginny hadn’t been able to make it, something about a work celebration. Molly had been disappointed, the kids cranky all day and Harry hadn’t been able to stop himself from speaking up when Ginny finally decided to come home. He had been so angry, so disappointed in her that moment. What could be more important than having a good holiday with the kids? Harry always made sure he had those days off work, hated it when an important case would call him back and take up his time. He just doesn’t get why Ginny doesn’t want to spend time with them all. Is it really that hard for her to spend time with him? Does he disgust her that much that even the fact that she can spend time with her kids isn’t enough to make her stay at home?

 

“Well, that’s her loss. If your other children are anything like Albus, I don’t get why you wouldn’t want to spend time with them.”

 

“Albus is the quiet one, the others are a lot more work.”

 

“You’ve met Scorp, have you? I can handle talkative, jump from one topic to the next in seconds, noisy rebels.”

 

Harry can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, he always makes Albus do things he would normally never do. It doesn’t help, you know. How your son always manages to drag mine down into detention.”

 

“I told him to be a better Slytherin and make sure he doesn’t get caught.”

 

“Oh, so that’s how you got away with everything at school? Just make sure you don’t get caught?”

 

“Yes, Potter. And my name did help. Back then at least,” Malfoy includes as an afterthought. He looks away quickly, but not before Harry can see his features fall. It must be hard for him, from going to being one of the most respected families in the Wizarding world to being an outcast.

 

“But fuck that,” Malfoy continues. He turns his head back and pride and determination are written all over it. “I’m a known name now in the Muggle world. Make more money than I thought I ever would with doing something I love. What else could a man ask for?”

 

“A mansion with more room than needed, a son that gets detention at least once a month, a depressing love life, and a friend that needs to be reminded to have lunch.”

 

“Don’t need to ask for it, got that too,” Malfoy says so seriously that Harry has to fight to not laugh at him. Their eyes are locked on each other and Harry can’t look away. The glitter that shines out of the grey orbs is fascinating. The amusement they show intoxicating. The smile forming on Draco’s lips beautiful. Harry feels his heartbeat speed up. He swallows and forces himself to look away. It’s just because he and Ginny are talking at the moment. It will pass, it always passes.

 

“You’re coming out with me on Saturday, right?”

 

Harry looks back up, did he imagine the small tremble in Malfoy’s voice? Malfoy looks at his food, his eyes locked on the noodles in front of him. Harry swallows again. “Yes, of course. A photo shoot with real models in the middle of the woods, that’s going to be so much fun to look at.”

 

“For you, yes. I need to make them look natural. Fuck I hate models. I should just stick to nature pictures and families.”

 

“Marget is going to kill you if you tell her you’ll quit.”

 

Malfoy laughs. “Yes, she will. I still can’t believe she travels up to Cherhill once a month to discuss new jobs. She’s convinced I’m the only photographer that can get good pictures of models in natural surroundings. And she’s willing to pay for it.”

 

“So it is all about the money?”

 

“No, of course not. Once I get those girls to stop freaking out about potential spiders or other scary creatures, have them become one with the surroundings around them but still have them stand out, when I get those perfect shots, fuck it’s the best feeling in the world.”

 

“Better than sex?” Harry asks. He has no idea where it came from. It’s not like him to ask questions like that. And he’s even more surprised when Malfoy gives an honest and genuine answer.

 

“Fuck Potter, maybe. Or maybe it’s just been too long since I had a proper shag.”

 

“And we’re back to the depressing love life. We really need to find you a date soon. Get you back on the waggon.” Maybe then Harry can stop thinking about what it would be like to go on a date with Malfoy, watch the sunset with him.

 

Malfoy locks eyes with Harry when he shakes his head. “Don’t think there is anyone in the wizarding world that wants to date me.”

 

“I’m sure we can find someone for you, a nice witch that can see what I see. Not everyone hates you, you know.”

 

Malfoy looks away. Doesn’t say a word. Harry focuses back on his lunch. They both know that most people in this building are looking for an excuse to arrest Malfoy. Harry hasn’t missed the way his Aurors talk about his friendship with Malfoy, he hasn’t missed the angry looks thrown Malfoy’s way. It must be hard for him to come here once a week. And just to hang out with Harry for a short hour while they eat lunch and talk about almost everything.

 

They really are friends now. Harry can’t believe it half of the time. But they hang out at least twice a week. A lunch date on Wednesdays, a trip into the Muggle world on Saturdays if Malfoy has a shoot, or just a stupid game of chess at the Manor. Harry would be lying is he would say they aren’t the best times of his week. It’s because he’s away from this job, away from Ginny her temper, her hexes, it has nothing to do with Malfoy. It helps that they get along, really it does, but he’s not the main reason. He can’t be. Harry can’t go there. He just can’t. He needs to think of James, Albus and Lily. They need him. He can’t do this because he’ll lose them.

 

“Potter?”

 

Harry looks back up. Two worried eyes are fixed on him.

 

“Are you okay?” Malfoy asks with a quiet voice. Like he’s afraid he’ll spook Harry. Harry gets flooded with warmth, and his hairs raise on his arms. He wants to reach out, wants to touch the arm in front of him that wavers somewhere halfway between them. He wants to close the gap. He wants to so badly it hurts.

 

“No,” he stammers. “Sorry, I just…” Harry has no idea how to finish his sentence. He shakes his head and stares down at his hands. He needs Malfoy to leave before he does something stupid. “I need to get back to work.”

 

Malfoy sighs and sits back. “Fine,” he spits out. “I’ll see you on Saturday, then?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Harry hears himself say. He should stay away, keep his distance. Only he can’t. He can’t have the one little good thing in his life go away. Not while the kids are still at school.

 

Malfoy gets up, waves his wand and the half-eaten lunch flies into the bin. He walks towards the door and Harry looks him leave. Malfoy’s hand is on the door handle, his head drops down and Harry is sure Malfoy has his eyes closed. And then he turns to face Harry. His eyes are watery, and his voice drops when he speaks again.

 

“I’m your friend, Harry. No matter what, you can tell me. I won’t judge, I won’t hurt you. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”

 

Harry nods, fighting the tears that threaten to flow. He can’t speak. Malfoy turns around again and leaves the room. Harry his hands shake and he just stares at the door. Small tears fall down his cheeks. Does Malfoy know? Has he figured out what Ginny does? Is that why he said he wouldn’t hurt Harry? He can’t have, can he? Harry knows he can hide it. Nobody ever suspects anything. Nobody knows what a disappointment of a husband he is. How Ginny needs to do the things she does to teach him, to show him when he has messed up.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Dad, DAD!” Albus yells from somewhere to the left. When Harry looks into his direction he sees him running towards the path that he and Draco are following along the pond. His face is red and Harry is sure that Al is close to crying. James runs after Al, laughing and shouting that he hasn’t done anything. Scorp lays on the grass in the distance, clamping his arms around his stomach and laughing. The sun is out today and it’s hot. Harry has pulled on some shorts and a simple t-shirt and he’s still sweating from the easy walk they have in the park.

 

“Dad, James, he did it again,” Al says when he stops next to Harry. Harry pulls Al in a sideways hug and places a soft kiss on the boy's hair. Al buries his face in Harry’s shoulder and lets out a soft cry.

 

“Albus, I’m sure your brother is just being his annoying self. He can’t help it, he’s a Gryffindor,” Draco says with an amused smile on his face.

 

“I didn’t, dad,” James says when he reaches them. “I was just joking.”

 

Harry looks at James, they had a talk about this already a week ago. Harry doesn’t get why James keeps it up. He knows it upsets Al. Harry tried to explain to James that Al is afraid of what his mother would say if she heard. Not that she’s home enough to notice the little war that’s been going on all summer.

 

“Fuck, it was just a joke, dad. If he can’t even handle a stupid joke, that’s not my fault. Scorp thought it was funny. Man, even you would have thought it funny if you had heard Al talking just now.”

 

“I didn’t think it was funny, dad,” a small voice comes from his side.

 

“I know, Al. It’s okay. Your brother is doing the dishes the muggle way for the rest of the week and then he’ll remember what I told him and not do it again,” Harry says. James opens his mouth to protest but stops when Harry shakes his head. He’s not having this discussion again. It’s hard enough with his own heart betraying him with every look at Draco’s legs in the tight jeans he loves to wear.

 

“Fine,” James spits out and he walks away from them. Towards the swings were Lily has been planted since they entered the park.

 

“Dad, I’m not. You know right, it’s not like that. I swear.”

 

Harry turns Albus in his arm and looks him straight in the eyes. “I know, Al. You don’t have to tell me. And even if it was true, you know it doesn’t matter, it won’t make me love you any less.”

 

“I know, dad. But mom, she always…”

 

“No Al, don’t worry about it. Ginny won’t love you any less either.”

 

“She hates me, dad. I know she does. And if she hears what James has been saying she will… Dad, she will hate me even more.”

 

Harry hates the tears in Al’s eyes. Hates the words coming out of his mouth. He wishes he could tell him he’s crazy, that he’s wrong, that his mother loves him just as much as she loves James and Lily. But he can’t get the lie over his lips. Al has always been different, a little nervous and disorganised. But he has the sweetest heart of all his kids. Only Ginny can’t see it, she just sees him being something else than the perfect son she wants. And it has only become worse since the day of Albus his sorting. Harry can’t remember how many of the scars on his back are from fights about Albus his house placement and his friendship with Scorpius. But he doesn’t care, he’ll take all the hits over and over again as long as Al can just be himself and enjoy his childhood.

 

“Al, you know I know it’s not true, right?” Scorpius asks. He walked toward them without them knowing. “You whine about you know enough to know that you fancy her and not me.”

 

Harry smiles at Scorpius. Al is so lucky to have a friend like him. Even now he makes sure that he doesn’t mention the name of this mystery girl that has stolen Al’s heart.

 

“I know,” Al says. He steps out of Harry’s embrace and hugs Scorpius. “It’s just.”

 

“I know,” Scorp replies. “You don’t have to tell me.”

 

And without another word, the two boys walk back onto the grass field. Harry follows them with his eyes and takes a relieved breath when Albus starts to laugh again.

 

“What was all that about?” Draco asks when they start to walk again. “I thought you said that Albus and James got along just fine.”

 

“They did, until a couple of weeks ago. James is been making fun of his friendship with Scorpius, keeps saying that Al is secretly in love with Scorpius.”

 

“Oh,” is the only response Harry gets. It’s not like Draco to stay quiet. When Harry looks his way, he sees that Draco walks with his eyes downcast.

 

“Yes, it’s hard on Al. He’s struggling enough at home without having James make it worse. James knows this, but he just keeps it up. I wish I knew why.”

 

Draco looks towards James and Lily by the swings. He shakes his head and then looks at Harry. Harry blinks and looks back at the path they are following. It gets harder by the minute to not reach out and kiss Draco when he looks at Harry like that. Like he’s just as worried about Harry’s kids as Harry is himself.

 

“Maybe he’s just trying to figure things out,” Draco says.

 

Harry nods his head. He thought about that too, the way James is acting out all summer. Something happened at the end of the school year. Harry just wishes James would open up to him and stop making his little brother’s life harder.

 

“Ginevra, is she,” Draco stammers a little, “why would Albus think she’ll hate him if he was gay?”

 

“Ginny isn’t very nice when she talks about Charlie, always saying it’s a shame he never found a proper wife.”

 

“Charlie, that’s the dragon keeper, right? The gay uncle.”

 

“Yes, he is. Not that we’ve ever seen him with another man. Sometimes the Weasleys are just as stuck-up as other pure-bloods.”

 

“And here I was, thinking the Weasley’s were open-minded Muggle loving wizards.”

 

“Yeah, Muggle-loving as long as they are straight. It’s stupid. I know Hermione has gotten in a fight once with Molly about Charlie when we knew he was dating someone but didn’t feel safe enough to bring him home to his parents. Hermione was, well she was Hermione, you know how she can get.”

 

Draco laughs softly. “Yes, Hermione on a mission is terrifying. Not that I’ve seen it often, but I’m sure Weasel wasn’t happy to see his wife go against his mother.”

 

“No, he wasn’t. Ron came to me, begging me to talk Hermione down, remind her that he likes his mother and would like to keep coming over for Sunday lunches.”

 

The open laugh that escapes Draco is like music to Harry’s ears. Draco says he needs to sit for a bit to get himself back under control and he plops down on a bench. Harry sits down next to him.

 

“It wasn’t funny. It took weeks before Molly and Hermione would speak to each other again. Ron spend so many days in my office, complaining, begging me to do something.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Draco spurts out between his laughs. “Just the idea of Weasel running to you for help to sort out his own wife. It’s a good picture.”

 

“Sure it is. How would you feel if one of your best friends is crying in your office because they don’t know what to do anymore? That he can’t change his mothers crazy believes.”

 

Draco stops laughing. “Yeah, guess that would suck a little.”

 

“It did. It still does. Ginny is a lot like her mother when it comes to people being gay, or bisexual.” Harry looks back to the swings, sees James push Lily higher and higher. They laugh and seem to have a good time. “I just hate the idea that James is acting out so much because of the things his mother says from time to time about Charlie. I want him to feel safe, to figure it out in his own time and in his own way.”

 

“I’m sorry, Harry. I can’t help you there. My parents were just as pigheaded as your Ginevra. In our home, the word gay was only used for happy people.”

 

They look at each other. Harry sees the unspoken words in Draco’s statement. The words telling him that Draco thinks Ginny is no good for Harry, the words saying that he can relate to what James might be going through. Harry leans in a little closer, his eyes look at Draco’s lips which are parted slightly, and then they move back to Draco’s eyes, the grey orbs that ask a question that Harry wants to say yes to so badly. The question that makes his chest flutter, his head feel light and his hands tremble.

 

Draco glances away and the moment is broken.

 

“We should be getting home. Daphne wanted to join us for dinner,” Draco says without looking at Harry. Harry’s heartbeat stops momentarily and his shoulders drop. Maybe the question wasn’t there and he just pushed Draco away. What was he even thinking? He’s married. He needs to think about his kids, his wife. He can’t just forget the world around him.

 

“Sure, no problem. We’re still taking them to the Natural History Museum on Friday?”

 

“Yes,” Draco says and he turns around. He doesn’t look Harry in the eye when he continues. “Scorp is really excited.”

 

“Good, we’ll see you then.” Harry feels his stomach drop to the floor when Draco turns again and calls out to Scorpius. Harry knows he did something wrong. He messed everything up. And he has no idea how to fix it.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Draco curses. He slams his hand against the wall in front of him. The flames in the heart light up again and Draco takes a calming breath.

 

“Dad?”

 

Draco stares at the wall in front of him, he takes a deep breath and turns toward the door.

 

“I just need, I’ll see you at dinner,” he stammers.

 

Scorpius’ hand grabs his arm, forces him to stop. “Dad, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s nothing, Scorp. I’m just being stupid.” Draco rolls his shoulders, tries to relax. He closes his eyes and takes another breath. He can see the shaking, the trembling of Harry’s arm, the pain in his eyes. It forces Draco to open his eyes again, but he can’t unsee it. Can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt to see Harry like that. Fucking Merlin, why did he think he could just be his friend? It was a stupid idea to begin with, and now it’s just plain crazy.

 

“Dad, you know that I know you love him, right? You don’t have to hide it, not from me.”

 

Draco looks at Scorpius and wonders when his son got more grown up than him. Maybe he can talk about it with him, tell him what Harry’s trembling arm reminds him off. That it was one thing his mother was never able to hide. Just like the scars and the unexplained pains. But he can’t. Scorp won’t be able to keep that from Albus. It will only make everything worse. Draco knows. He remembers the cuts his mother had after he had told his father to leave her alone.

 

“It’s okay, Scorpius. Really, I’m fine,” Draco lies.

 

“No, you’re not. Stop lying to me. Do you think I don’t see how you look at him? That I can’t see how much it hurts you to just be his friend. Dad, I’m not blind.”

 

“I know you’re not,” Draco whispers. He wishes that was all that was hurting him right now. No, he can deal with being in love with a straight married man. Even though it gets harder the better he gets to know that man, the more he gets to see what a devoted father he is and the more he finds out that his heart really is made of gold. No, what really breaks his heart is to know that Harry isn’t happy.

 

“Then stop trying to hide it from me. Please dad, I rather see you hurting then not see you at all.”

 

Draco pulls Scorpius against his chest. “I’ll try. It just doesn’t come easy for me.”

 

Scorpius looks up at Draco and takes a step back, moving out of the embrace.

 

“Mom said you pretended to be straight because your parents wouldn’t approve. That it was a pure-blood thing, the need to continue the bloodline.”

 

“You and your mom talked too much about something I was supposed to hide from you both.”

 

“Yeah, you maybe shouldn’t have married mom than. Like you were ever able to hide anything from her. She could see right through you.”

 

Draco smiles. It’s been a while since they talked about Astoria. Draco never knows if it’s okay to bring her up around Scorp. He knows the boy still misses his mom like crazy. Draco does too. She would have known what to do with the whole messed up mess he has gotten himself into with Harry. It’s only been a couple of weeks since the day in the park, when Harry had leaned in, his eyes locked with Draco’s. And Draco had wanted to close the gap so badly, place his lips on Harry’s and finally find out what it would feel like to kiss that man. How it would feel like to kiss someone you are really in love with.

 

Draco looks back at Scorpius who looks at him like he’s mad. Draco gives him a questioning look.

 

“Dad, you are hopelessly in love, it’s weird. You never were like that with mom.”

 

Draco knows it’s different. Astoria was his best friend, his compass, not his lover. He never wanted her like he wants Harry. And then Scorp’s words from earlier come back to him. How his mother had told him that Draco had pretended to be straight for the need to continue the bloodline, and he knows he needs to set one thing straight before he can end this conversation.

 

“I hope you don’t think I only married your mother because I needed to produce an heir.”

 

Scorpius shakes his head. “No, I know you loved mom. Maybe not in a way a normal couple loves each other, but I know she was special to you.”

 

 “She was. I don’t think I would have managed to become the man I’m now if it hadn’t been for her. Somehow, she always knew what it was I really needed.”

 

“Yeah, she was great.”

 

They stand there, looking at each other. Draco sees the tears form in Scorpius’ eyes, sees his features fall.

 

“I miss her, dad. I really miss her.”

 

“I know, Scorp, I know.” Within seconds Draco has his arms around Scorpius again. He holds him close while he cries. He’s even fighting his own tears. His own words echo through his mind: ‘She always knew what it was I really needed’. Followed by some of the last words she ever spoke to him: ‘Then tell him. Promise me you will within the next twelve months. Don’t forget your promise.’

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Dad?”

 

“She fucking knew it would come to this.”

 

“Dad, you’re making no sense. What are you talking about?”

 

Draco sits down on one of the chairs around the small table in the room. He places his head in his hands. Scorpius sits down next to him. Draco can’t look at him.

 

“Tori pushed me to make a promise to her, on the night she died.” Draco chokes up a little. Scorpius leans his head against his arm in support. They never really talk about that night. Or the morning after. It’s all a big mess of tears and screams.

 

“I couldn’t understand why it was so important to her. Why that was what she wanted to talk about just before the end.”

 

“What did you promise her?”

 

“I promised her to stop acting like I was straight,” Draco confesses. “I promised her to be true to myself.”

 

“Is that why you told me you are gay only days after mom died?”

 

Draco swallows and tries to hide the tears in his eyes. That was the hardest conversation he ever had. Even though Tori had told him that Scorp already knew, to say it out loud to him, confess to him that he never had loved his mother the way he was supposed to, it was terrifying. But he had to do it if he and Scorp were going to survive with just the two of them.

 

“Partly. I also wanted you to know the real me now that it was just the two of us.”

 

“I already knew, but it was nice to hear you say it. I am really proud of you, dad.”

 

Draco pulls his head out of his hands and lets Scorpius slide against his side. Astoria had always said Draco would need his son more than he needed her, and maybe she was right about that too.

 

“She also made me promise to tell Harry I love him.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“Nothing wow,” Draco says while he gets up from the chair. He walks up and down the room. “You know this can end the friendship between you and Albus, right? If he doesn’t take it well, he will force Albus to stop being your friend.”

 

“You really think Albus’ dad will do that? Dad, your delusional. Al’s dad is too much of a sweetheart to ever even consider hurting Al.”

 

“And how am I delusional? You know Albus his mother hates me already, hates it that you are her son’s best friend. You really think they will just let it slide when I tell Harry I love him.”

 

“Yes, dad, he will. And I’ll tell you something. Albus’ dad won’t mind at all. He will be flattered and maybe tell you he doesn’t feel the same. But he’ll still be your friend. And he will most defiantly not try to take it out on Albus or me. It’s not like him at all.”

 

“I know,” Draco whispers. “I just… I don’t know if I can tell him. Now there is the dream that maybe he could feel the same. Love me back one day. Once I tell him, and he tells me he doesn’t see me that way. Fuck, Scorp, I won’t be able to pretend anymore.”

 

“Dad, pretend is just pretend. It will never become real if you keep quiet.”

 

“It will never become real either way.” And that’s it, isn’t it? The fear that Harry will never feel the way about him as he does about him. The fear that Draco will never find the happiness Astoria wanted him to find because he’s in love with a man that isn’t his to love.

 

“You promised mom.”

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

“You can’t break your promise, dad. Not if it was important enough for her to have you make it on the day she died.”

 

Draco nods. He knows Scorpius is right. He stops his wandering through the room and sits back down on the chair next to Scorpius. He rests his head on the table and let the tears fall.

 

“Promise me you won’t break your promise, dad.”

 

Draco knows he can’t say no to his son. That Scorpius is right, he made a promise. A promise he never should have made but did anyway to make Tori happy in her last moments on earth. And now his son knows and there is no turning back. He’ll have to tell Harry. Even if it means losing Harry for good.

 

“I won’t, I promise. I’ll tell him. Within the next month. Even if it’s the last thing I do. I will tell him.”

 

Scorpius lays his head down on Draco’s back and slips his arms around Draco’s waist.

 

“It’s all going to be alright, dad. I promise you that. Somehow it will all be alright.” Draco wishes he could believe that.


	3. Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and positive feedback. I really enjoy working on this story, even though the topic isn't fun at all. I hope you will all like this chapter, where Harry makes a decision that will change his life forever. 
> 
> Little warnings: This chapter includes a scene wherein domestic abuse happens instead of just being mentioned. If that's triggering for you it happens in the second scene.

Sweat drips from Draco’s hair when he steps into the elevator. He wrings his hands together and tries to ignore the people around him. He can’t deal with the anger and hate in their eyes today. Not now when he’s going to ruin everything, now he’s about to lose one of the most important people in his life. Scorpius would be proud of Draco for doing this, just as Astoria if she was still with them. Draco is sure of it. He just wishes knowing that would make what he’s about to do easier. Scorpius believes it will all be okay, and Draco really hopes his son is right. That it will not be the end of the friendship between Scorp and Albus. Those boys have been inseparable since their first trip on the Hogwarts express. And Draco hopes that the coming Christmas break isn’t going to be the first time they won’t be allowed to visit each other.

 

Draco steps out of the elevator and starts the short work to Harry’s office. Emily, his secretary is in her usual spot. She gives Draco a short nod, giving him the go-ahead to enter. She’s one of the view people that doesn’t treat him like crap in this office and it’s nice. Draco opens the door and finds Harry behind his desk, his head bent over the file in front of him. Harry looks up, irritation written over his face that transforms into a smile as soon as he registers who it is that just entered his office.

 

“This is a surprise,” Harry says. He puts down his quill and hangs back in his chair. His body relaxes and Draco hates that he’s the reason for it, knowing it won’t last long today.

 

Draco swallows the lump in his throat and closes the door behind him. Harry nods at the chair that stands to the side for when Draco stops by for lunch on Wednesdays. Not that it’s ever Draco that sits on the chair. No somehow Harry always has an excuse to get up when Draco comes so that Draco can steel Harry’s desk chair for the small hour he’ll be around.

 

Draco shakes his head this time. There’s no need to get the chair, he won’t be staying long. And if he sits down, jokes with Harry as he would normally do, he won’t say what he needs to say. What he promised his wife on her deathbed he would tell Harry.

 

Harry frowns at Draco but doesn’t comment on it. He waits for Draco to speak, just like Draco does with him when Harry tries to talk about the war, about the things that still haunt his dreams.

 

Draco looks to the side, afraid to see the disgust in Harry’s eyes that will be there once he knows. He’s not sure he’ll ever open his mouth, say the words out loud. The only person who ever heard them was his own son. And this is different, Harry doesn’t have to stick around once he knows.

 

“Draco, you’re scaring me,” Harry says. Draco looks back at him. Harry’s lip is stuck between his teeth. His eyes are watery and his fingers fidget with the file on his desk. Draco knows he has to tell Harry. That he has to explain what the man means to him. Even if it means losing him forever. There’s no way Draco can just keep being his friend, not when the urge to reach out and touch him is this strong.

 

“I,” he starts. His voice sounds wrong, like he hasn’t used it for days because of a cold. Fuck why is this so hard? Draco swallows again. “I need to tell you something. Something I should have told you from the start.”

 

“Okay,” Harry responses. “I’m listening.” A soft smile sits on his face and Draco hearts breaks. He wants to kiss this man, wants to be his. But instead, he’s going to lose the friendship they have built over the last couple of months.

 

“Scorp told me to tell you that I don’t expect anything of you. Because I don’t. It’s okay if you don’t want to hang out anymore, I’ll stay away from you, from your children. Whatever you want. Just please don’t take it out on those boys.”

 

“Draco.”

 

“No, Harry, I need to say this. Please let me just say this.” Tears slip from Draco’s eyes and he hates himself for feeling so vulnerable.

 

Harry nods and waits for Draco to continue. He’s still fidgeting with the file and Draco wants to step closer and grab his hand to make him stop.

 

“The thing is, and I know it shouldn’t matter. But it’s an issue in the wizarding world. Man, even the Muggles make an issue of it from time to time. Fuck Harry, I wasn’t allowed to feel this, be this way for so long. Only Astoria and Scorpius know. Fuck, I’m making no sense at all, do I?”

 

Harry just shakes his head. He tries to smile at Draco, but it doesn’t last.

 

“What I’m trying to say is that,” Draco wavers, shakes his head and then looks Harry in the eyes. “I’m gay. There I said it. I, Draco Malfoy are a homosexual.”

 

Harry nods again. His lips press together in a slight grimace and Draco looks at the ground. He can’t do this. It’s too much to see the expression his father had when Draco told him on Harry’s face. And it’s going to be there, Draco is sure of it. But he can’t stop now, he said part one, now part two needs to follow.

 

“And I love you,” Draco whispers at the ground.

 

The room is still. Draco hears the clock tick, hears Emily’s heels walk down the hall, hears his own heartbeat in his chest. He looks up at Harry. Harry opens his mouth, only to close it again. He shakes his head softly, his eyes avoid Draco’s.

 

“I tried just being your friend. And I’ll keep trying if you want me to. But I need you to know that I love you. I love everything about you. Every time you smile at me I want to kiss you. I want to hold your hand when we walk around the river. And I know I can’t have that, that you’re straight, and with Ginevra. And that’s okay. I just want you to know how you make me feel.”

 

“I don’t know,” Harry says. And Draco can’t hear it. Can’t hear the rejection, the end of their friendship in words. It’s too much.

 

“It’s okay, Harry. You don’t have to say it. I’ll go, keep my distance. And if you ever feel you can be my friend again. Well, you know where to find me.”

 

Draco turns around and walks out of the office before Harry has the change to say anything else. He almost runs towards the elevators, hurries out of the ministry with tears streaming over his cheeks. Draco doesn’t care who sees it. Doesn’t care what others will think of him now. It’s all over. He kept his promise. Scorp can be proud, Astoria can rest peacefully. And Harry can continue his life without a man drooling over him.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

There’s a spot on the ceiling. Harry looks at it while the sun slowly lights up the room. The spot moves to the side. It’s probably a spider. Harry can’t say for sure without his glasses on. Not that it matters. But it’s easier to think of the spot or spider than of what Draco told him yesterday afternoon. Or how badly Harry wanted to run after him when he fled the room. So Harry follows the spider’s tracks with his eyes. Sees how he makes it to the wall next to the bed and disappears between the cracks.

 

Ginny walks back into the room. Dressed and ready to go. She’s off for another extra training session this Saturday.

 

“Stay home with me today,” Harry uppers. He just needs to remember why he loves her. It will stop the heartache inside. It has to. He won’t be able to stop himself otherwise.

 

“Don’t be stupid,” Ginny responds. Harry lifts his head from his pillow and looks at his wife. Looks at her long red hair braided as always and tries to remember why he once couldn’t stop touching it, until Ginny stopped him from doing that. He sees the confusion in her eyes for this sudden request for her to stay home today.

 

“I mean it. We never do anything together anymore. I miss you.”

 

Ginny shakes her head, gives Harry a small smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “I miss you too, but you know I can’t stay home. I don’t want this season to be like last year.”

 

Harry sits up straight in bed and grabs his glasses from his bedside table. When he looks back at Ginny she’s in the chair and has started to put on her shoes.

 

“When will you be back?” Harry asks her.

 

“Don’t know. It might be late. I want to go over some new tactics with my new seeker.” Ginny says without looking at Harry.

 

“I can make dinner, cook that lasagna you love so much. We can make it a romantic dinner,” Harry tries. Can’t Ginny see that he’s trying here, that he needs her to remind him that she’s right for him? That this is where he should be.

 

There’s a long pause and then Ginny says she’s not sure if she’ll be home in time for dinner. Harry looks at her while she ties her other shoe, stands up and grabs her gym bag.

 

“What about tomorrow then? I’m sure you can take some time off tomorrow.”

 

Ginny gives Harry a polite smile. “No, Harry, I can’t. You know this.”

 

Harry’s heartbeat starts to pound in his ears. He glares at Ginny. He wants to say something, anything that will get Ginny to care. Care about him, about their marriage. Has she always been this distanced? Harry can’t remember when it had become so difficult to talk to his own wife.

 

“And don’t you have to go run off to your new best friend? That death eater scum you want to save,” Ginny spits.

 

Heat flushes through Harry’s body and his hands start to tremble. He crosses his arms in front of his chest. His breathing is hard and he struggles not to jump out of his bed and storm out of the room.

 

“At least he wants to spend time with me. Unlike my wife!”

 

Two cold eyes look at him from beside the bed. Harry knows what’s coming before Ginny even grabs her wand from the bedside table. The first hex hits his arm. Ginny screams at him. Harry sees her mouth moving but doesn’t hear the words that follow. Another hex flies towards Harry. He holds his arms up to protect his head and turns his back towards Ginny. Water flows from his eyes just like the blood that flows over his arm and back. Two more hexes hit Harry’s back and Harry falls forwards onto the bed. He grabs the sheet with his arm and he bites his lip to try not to scream. He won’t give Ginny the satisfaction. Not this time.

 

No new hexes fly his way, Harry is afraid to look back, to anger Ginny even more. And then the door to the bedroom opens, footsteps decent the stairs and the floo activates. It’s over, for now.

 

Harry gets out of bed slowly and walks to the shower. He opens the taps and waits for the water to heat up before he steps underneath the stream. The water mixes with his blood and tears. His mind wanders to his memories of the last year. Of all the times Ginny hurt him, all the times he wondered what he’d done wrong that time. All the times he promised her he would be better, be more like the man she wanted. But the only thing he did today was ask her to spend time with him. Doesn’t she see that he’s trying? Trying so hard not to let the feelings inside his chest come out. Doesn’t she see that he wants to make this work?

 

And then the whispers words of Draco flow into his mind. I love you. Harry hasn’t been able to stop thinking about them all night. Draco loves him. All the touches, sweet smiles and almost moments weren’t just in Harry’s head. The want Harry feels Draco feels it too. He’s Harry’s safe place. The one person that doesn’t judge him, doesn’t expect anything from him. The only person that lest him just be Harry. The one that brings him lunch ones a week because he knows Harry forgets to eat otherwise.

 

Harry slides to the floor of the shower, unable to stay upright. He has a sinking feeling in his stomach. All he wants right now is to go to Draco, just sit on his sofa while Draco works. And then stay when it becomes night, share his bed and never leave again.

 

No, he can’t. He has to stop thinking like this. He needs to get up, get dressed and forget about Draco. It’s wrong, unnatural. He has a wife and kids to think about. He can’t just go off and do what he wants. He needs to think of what people need from him, what his family needs of him.

 

Harry shakes his head and slowly stands up. He turns off the taps and steps out of the shower. Without looking at the mirror he gets dressed and walks towards the study. He grabs his book from the desk and sits down in the armchair next to the fireplace. He opens the book and tries to read. The letters seem to flow around on the page. Harry pinches his eyes and tries to focus.

 

With a soft plop, a tear falls onto the page. Harry stares at the moisture that darkens the paper. Is fascinated at how the spot slowly grows and then gets accompanied by another.

 

He should have listened to Hermione. She was right. All those years ago. She knew it would come to this.

 

Harry tries to imagine what she would say if he told her how right she was when she said that Ginny would be no good for him. Not as long as Harry didn’t love her. But when he held his little boy for the first time. Had James in his arms and looked at Ginny he knew he made the right choice. Started to love her a little again. For a little while at least. And then they had Albus and Harry was sure they would work it out then. Only they never had. And after Lily, they even stopped sleeping together. The only thing they ever do is hurt each other. Over and over again.

 

When Harry looks back at his book he discovers there are even more moist spots. Tears slide freely over his face. He can’t stay here, can’t do nothing. So Harry gets up and grabs some floo powder. He waits for the flames to turn green and then steps into the heart. He closes his eyes and utters Malfoy Manor.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco is surprised when the door to his bedroom opens. Toby’s small frame comes into view and Draco turns to his other side. He’s had enough of the worries of Mila and her attempts to get him out of bed. The plate with breakfast she brought him stands untouched on the bedside table, the tea cold by now. It most be closer to lunch by now anyway. Draco doesn’t care. He’s not hungry.

 

“Master Malfoy, sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but you have a visitor.”

 

“I don’t care, Toby. Send them away, they can come back on Monday,” Draco says. He just wants two days to wallow in his pain. He’s allowed to do that, isn’t he? It was clear on Harry’s face that the friendship they had is over. Clear that Draco is alone. Again. Fuck Astoria and her stupid ideas. Fuck Scorpius for forcing Draco’s hand. And fuck Harry for being so amazing that he’s all Draco wants.

 

“He’s in tears, sir. Looks even worse than you,” Toby says like its a matter of facts. The bastard. He knows that this will get Draco’s attention. The old elf would sure have been sorted Slytherin if he ever would have gone to Hogwarts.

 

Draco sits up in his bed, waves his hand towards his bathrobe and Toby levitates them towards Draco. Draco pulls his arm in and shakes his head.

 

“It’s Harry, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes sir, Mister Potter is downstairs, begging to speak to you. Mila is telling him off. You know how she gets.”

 

“Fuck,” Draco hisses. “Go save him from her wrath and bring him here.”

 

“Of course, Master Malfoy.” Toby nods his head and disappears with a loud crack.

 

Draco should get out of bed, stand up and maybe put on some more clothes. Fix his hair or something. But he can’t find the strength to do so. He just sits in his bed, stares at the door, waiting for Harry to walk into his bedroom. Fuck, isn’t that what he has always wanted. The Saviour in his bed? No, not the Saviour. Just Harry. Kind and broken Harry. Harry, who still gets panic attacks when he gets reminded of the war. The man that loves his children so much he suffers through all the pain Ginevra puts him through to keep them happy and safe. Harry, the boy that once hated Draco and now is one of the few magical people that threat Draco with respect. The only one that doesn’t blame him for all the pain they had to go through during the war. That only sees Draco for who he is now.

 

The door opens again and Harry walks in. Toby wasn’t exaggerating when he said Harry looks worse than Draco. Harry has dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. He’s in a comfy sweater and some old jeans. His sneakers aren’t even tied. It’s like he just stepped out of bed and pulled on the first thing he could find. He also hasn’t shaved and Draco hates that he likes this look better than the well put together Harry he usually gets to see.

 

Harry only barely walks into the room. He doesn’t come close, just looks up at Draco. His voice is choked with tears when he starts to talk.

 

“You can’t just say something like that and then walk away,” Harry says. “Fuck, Draco. Why did you have to say that? I’m married. I can’t just.”

 

Harry whimpers and his arm slides over the top of his left arm. Draco knows what’s there. One of the scars Ginevra left on his body. Harry always touches it when he’s scared or struggling with his own thoughts.

 

“Do you have any idea how hard it is not to give in? How difficult it is to go home every time I spend time with you?” Harry almost screams. Draco swallows away the lump in his throat and has to fight to not spring out of bed and pull Harry into his arms. Or to say he’ll take it all back if he could, if that means they can still be friends. If that would mean that Harry won’t push him away now.

 

“Merlin, Draco, how can I ignore my own heart when you give me yours so easily like it’s no big deal. I don’t know if I can.” Harry shakes his head and looks down at his hands. “It’s wrong, I know it’s wrong. I shouldn’t feel like this. Fuck, Draco, I don’t love her. Haven’t for so long. And then you come around.”

 

Draco slides out of his bed and takes small steps towards Harry. He doesn’t want to scare him off. Doesn’t want him to stop talking. Not when all his words seem to say that he feels something for Draco, that all hope isn’t lost. That maybe Draco can have Harry, that maybe he won’t lose his best friend after all.

 

“I’m married, Draco. I can’t just throw that away. She’s the mother of my children.”

 

“I know,” Draco whispers. “I’m not asking you to. Nothing has to change.”

 

“But everything has changed. Don’t you know how much I want you? How much I wanted you to feel the same about me? And now that I know you do. I…”

 

Harry chokes up and Draco slides his arms around his waist. Harry falls against Draco’s chest and Draco hopes Harry doesn’t notice how Draco’s heart skips a beat when he does. They stand like that for a long time. Harry cries against Draco’s chest, his body shaking. Draco just holds him, waits for Harry to decide what he wants. This needs to be his decision. It’s going to change their lives forever, no matter what happens next.

 

“It’s wrong. Not natural for me to want you like this. I’ve tried so hard to not feel like this. To not want you in a way I shouldn’t. Not to fall in love with you.”

 

Draco stops breathing. Did Harry just admit he loves him? Does this beautiful man really love him? He looks down when he feels Harry lift his head of Draco’s chest. Two green eyes full of fear look at him.

 

“But I did, I did fall. I love you, Draco. Fuck, I really love you,” Harry says without taking his eyes of Draco. Harry’s hands slide up Draco’s sides. It’s the only reason Draco stays upright. Draco bents down and rest his forehead against Harry’s.

 

“I fucking love you too, you arsehole.”

 

And then Harry leans in, closes the little space between them. His lips brush over Draco’s and it’s perfect. Draco pulls Harry closer and deepens the kiss. He moves them back slowly till his legs tough the edge of his bed. He sits down and pulls Harry over his lap. Harry follows willingly. His hands push Draco’s bathrobe to the side so he can touch the naked skin underneath.

 

Moments later Harry’s sweater lays on the floor somewhere, Draco’s hands slide over his back. The skin isn’t smooth and Draco tries not to think of why. Not now he finally has the man he loves in his bed. Instead, he moves his hands further down and reaches for the bottom of Harry’s jeans. Harry lets him open it and then moans into Draco’s mouth when Draco pushes his hand into his jeans, cubbing his cock. Draco massages over it while his own erection grows. Harry breaks the kiss and whispers in Draco’s ear.

 

“Please fuck me.”

 

It’s too much, too soon. But Draco doesn’t care. He has no idea if Harry will regret this tomorrow when he remembers he’s still married to someone else. If he will ever get to be this close to Harry again. So he nods and kisses Harry again. He’ll fuck him so hard he won’t ever be able to forget.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco follows one of the lines on Harry’s back with his finger. It’s a deep one. And never properly treated, looking at the scar tissue around it. Draco’s healer instinct wants to drag Harry out off bed and straight to St. Mungo. His instinct as a son of a domestic abuse victim stops him, however. It won’t change anything. It will only make Harry angry. Draco will make him some lotions. The ones his mother thought him how to make, for when she was too weak to do it herself. They will bring the swellings down, reduce the redness of the skin around them.

 

When Draco woke up this morning, for a short second he thought that yesterday was a dream, that Harry hadn’t really shown up. The bed next to him felt empty. Until Draco turned to his side and saw that Harry had turned away from him in his sleep. Harry had curled into his own body so he hardly takes up any space. And it had left Draco with a clear view of his back. A back covert with scars. Old ones, and pretty recent ones decorating his shoulder blades.

 

Draco hadn’t seen the full extent of them last night, he saw glimpses of them, could feel them every time he stroked his hands over Harry’s back. But somehow Harry had kept his back hidden during their time in bed until it became too dark to really see. Draco remembers how they hadn’t made it to the fucking part on the first round, a couple of quick strokes was all it took to get them both off. But later, after slow kisses and sweet smiles, they had switch positions on the bed. Draco had pulled off Harry’s jeans and pants and opened him up slowly. And when he finally pushed inside him, it had been magical. In a way that Draco had never imagined. He had never felt so close to anyone person before. They had gone slow. It had been intense. And then Harry had his orgasm, untouched and Draco had followed. When Draco had rolled of Harry and looked at him, he fell even deeper in love. The blessed out look on Harry’s face was intoxicating, one Draco wishes he could see on a regular basis.

 

But this fairytale can’t last. Draco knows that. Harry is still a married man. And no matter how much they love each other, Draco doesn’t think he can do it. Be the secret mistress on the side. His heart won’t be able to cope with it. And not just that. He promised Astoria he won’t hide his true self anymore, promised his son even. He can’t break those promises. Even when it means that last night will be the one and only he’ll ever share with Harry.

 

“Please don’t touch them,” a small voice asks.

 

“Okay,” Draco answers as he pulls his hand away from Harry’s back. Harry turns around and gives Draco a weak smile.

 

“I don’t want to think of how I got them when I’m with you,” Harry says. “I don’t want it to ruin this.”

 

“It won’t, I promise,” Draco reassures him.

 

Harry slides closer to Draco and slides his arm over Draco’s side. “Thank you,” he whispers.

 

Draco looks into Harry’s eyes. So much closer than normal without the glasses. They are emerald green, bright and beautiful. The lines around them soft and relaxed. Draco wishes he could wake up to them every morning. How is it that Ginevra doesn’t see how lucky she is that she can.

 

“You’re thinking of something very serious,” Harry says.

 

Draco traces a finger over Harry’s cheek. Follows the lines of his lighting bold scare above his eye and then holds his face while he places a soft kiss on Harry’s lips.

 

“Why does this feel like you’re saying goodbye?”

 

Harry’s voices wavers and a small tremor goes through his body. Draco hates himself for doing this. For saying goodbye when they both don’t want to.

 

“Because I think I am.”

 

“Why?”

 

Draco sees the moisture build-up in Harry’s eyes in front of him. Sees him retreating into his shell. And he wonders if this is what happens when he fights with Ginevra.

 

“Because I can’t be your secret. The person that fucks you on the side. I want to, but I know it will break me. And I can’t break, Harry. I can’t. Not as long as Scorpius still needs me.”

 

Harry nods his head, but his eyes don’t leave Draco’s. He looks at him like he’s processing the words. And then he looks down at his hand that still rest on Draco’s side, at the wedding ring around his finger.

 

“Okay,” Harry says. “I understand.”

 

Harry’s voice is so monotone, it scares Draco. He looks as Harry gets out of the bed, looks when Harry starts to pull his clothes back on without saying a word.

 

“Don’t do anything stupid, please,” Draco says while he sits up in bed.

 

Harry looks at Draco and he gives Draco another sweet smile. Harry walks back to the bed and takes Draco’s face in his hand. He places a small peck on Draco’s lips.

 

“I’ll be fine. I promise,” Harry says. His gaze is alert, his jaw set, so unlike his voice that shows no emotion at all. Draco nods into his hands, cherishes the final touches between them.

 

And then Harry turns away from him again. He picks up his shoes and walks out of the room.

 

Draco stares at the open door, unable to move. He can’t believe what he just did. He told the man of his dreams to leave, to go back to his wife. His abusing wife. Tears start to fall again. Draco hopes he’s done the right thing. That he did what was best for them both. But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. He finally knows what it feels like to be with Harry. Knows how perfect his body fits against his, knows how Harry’s face looks like when he comes, knows what it feels like when Harry gives him those easy and sweet smiles. Fuck, he’s screwed for life. And all it took was one night together.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry walks out of the floo, expecting Ginny to be home and angry. Only the house is quiet. Harry calls for Ginny a couple of times, but there is no response. Harry briefly closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath. He walks up the stairs, into the bedroom and pulls out his own gym bag from the dresser. He fills it with his sweaters, his jeans, his favourite shirts, some simple ropes, his sneakers. He leaves the fancy robes Ginny bought for him. Just like the expansive trousers and fancy shoes.

 

When he has all his clothes he looks around the room. Looks at the bed he’s shared with Ginny for the last seventeen and a half years. His hand come up to his mouth to cover it. He tries to stop it, the laughter that is building up inside him until he can’t hold it back anymore. He laughs and sags against the dresser behind his back. He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back.

 

Harry doesn’t move for a while. Soft tears fall down his cheeks and a soft smile forms on his lips. And then he stands up straight and walks towards his bedside table. He pulls out the drawer and empties it into his bag. He grabs his clock, the book he was reading, the picture of his children, and then he takes out an old box from the small cupboard. For a moment he thinks of opening it now. No, he will find comfort in it later. He has more important things to do now. He looks at the ring on his finger. It feels heavy. Harry pulls it off his finger and places it on the bedside table. He looks back at his hand, looks at the light ring of skin that hasn’t seen daylight since the day he married Ginny. He should feel bad or broken, but all Harry can do is smile and get up from the bed to pack the rest of his things.

 

Without hesitation, Harry continues his trip through the house, throwing his personal items in the bag that Hermione had expended for him years ago. He takes his favourite mug from the kitchen. The box with crafts the kids made when they were younger from the hallway closet. He pulls his brooms from the little shed in the garden and takes more pictures from the living room. Pictures of him and his children. In the study he takes the stuff he will need for work, pulls his collection of muggle books from the shelves, finds his little private notebooks and places them in the bag as well.

 

He doesn’t go into his children’s rooms. If he does, he’s not so sure he will be able to go and do what he wants for once in his life. Do what will make him happy. So he stays clear of them.

 

The last thing he does is take out some parchment and a quill. His hand shakes when he starts to write. He puts down Ginny’s name and then just stares at the parchment. Is he really going to tell her that their marriage is over in a note? Harry glances around the room, tries to remember the last time they spend the night curled up on the sofa together to read, or the last time they played chess together. Only Harry can’t. It has been so long ago, years. Years wherein they grew apart a little more every day. Years wherein Harry pushed his own desires away to be what Ginny wanted.

 

Harry slides his hand over his left arm, follows the lines of the scar that is always present there. He closes his eyes and remembers Draco following the lines of the scars on his back Remembers the love in his eyes when Harry turned around.

 

He can do this. He will write this note. He will leave and go to Grimmauld Place. Ginny and he will work out the details, make an arrangement for the kids. Harry will fix up the place so it can become a home again. A home he can share with Draco one day, maybe, if Draco wants that. It will all work out.

 

Harry turns back to the parchment and starts to write.

 

_Ginny,_

_First I wanted to wait till you_ _’ll get home, but we both know you would never let me finish if I did._

_I_ _’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. And I think you don’t want to do this anymore either. Our marriage has become an empty shelve, an act we play for others._

_Our children will understand. James, Albus and Lily are strong. I know it will hurt them, and that is one reason I stayed for so long._

_It has been years since we fell out of love with each other. I_ _’ve tried to find a way back to those first months, where everything felt so perfect and wonderful. Only I don’t think we ever will be able to get back there._

_Not anymore, anyway. Because I found someone else. And I_ _’m sorry, I never mend to cheat on you, deceive you. I fought it at every corner. Until he told me he loves me and wants me just as much as I want him._

_I don_ _’t know what will happen now, all I know is that I want out. Out of this marriage, out of this pain, and out of the closet._

_It_ _’s time we get a divorce and end this so we can both move on. I’ll inform our lawyer to ask him to draw up a divorce agreement. I don’t want this to become a fight. You can keep the house and everything. All I want is a fair arrangement for the kids._

_I_ _’ll be at Grimmauld Place when you’re ready to talk._

_Harry._

 

Harry’s hands shake when he places down the note on the coffee table. He grabs his bag and walks out of the house. It’s like he’s floating on his way to the apparition point. All will be alright somehow. Harry believes it in all his heart.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

The floo or a letter. Harry ponders about it. He has no idea which will be better. Or if it even matters. Maybe it won’t, but maybe it will. A floo is faster, more direct. But Harry isn’t sure he can explain it in words when he’s face to face. So maybe a letter. It will force Harry to consider his words, think of how to say ‘I left my wife, please tell me you still want me’. Yes, a letter would be better.

 

Harry searches his bag for some parchment and his quill. He’s sure that’s the only place he will find some. The house is still a mess. All the windows are grim, the wallpaper is ripped in most of the rooms and cobwebs life in every corner of the house. When Harry opened the door when he came in the smell of mildew and mould filled his nose. All the surfaces were covered in dust and Harry can still hear the water drip from one of the showers. It’s going to take forever to fix up this place. But Harry doesn’t care. It’s his house, given to him by his godfather. And he will turn it into a home for his children before the next summer holiday comes around.

 

The bed he picked to sleep in tonight dips when he sits down again. It was the cleanest one in the house and Harry used some spell to refreshen the sheets. He will go out and buy a new bed and some new bedding in the morning. After he picks the room that will become his. One with good light in the morning, so he can wake from the sun rising.

 

“Harry James Potter, where the fuck are you!” Ron shouts from someplace down the stairs. “Show yourself, you fucking bastard.”

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Harry mutters while he jumps from the bed and runs down the stairs. He opens the door to the study and comes face to face with a flushed Ron. His clenched hands shake at his side like Ron is forcing himself not to run at Harry and punch him in the face.

 

“You,” Ron screams. He points his finger at Harry, steps closer until it hits Harry’s chest. “You cheated on my sister! And told her in a fucking note. I should kill you.”

 

“I’m sorry, Ron, I”

 

“Don’t give me any stupid excuses, you bastard. You bloody faggot. She’s in tears, heartbroken. You know, I thought you would at least have the decency to tell her to her face that you slept with that fucking Draco Malfoy. He’s it, right, the man that you fell in love with. You leave the woman that loves you for a bloody death eater. I can’t believe it. I thought you were better than that.”

 

“He’s not a death eater,” Harry whispers. He’s afraid to look Ron in the eyes. He clutches his arms over his chest and his shoulders curl forward.

 

“That’s what you want to comment on. On the fact that I call your new boy-toy death eater scum. Fuck Harry, what the fuck happened to you? When did you become so heartless?”

 

“Ron, I,” Harry says and then pause. How can he explain that it wasn’t Draco that killed his marriage? He and Ginny did that all by themselves, long before Draco even became a constant in Harry’s life.

 

“You what, Harry? You bloody what? Didn’t mean to break her heart? Didn’t want anyone to get hurt? You always bloody say that, but people always seem to do, don’t they? You always screw everything up and then expect us all to forgive you. Well, you’ve done it this time. I won’t forgive you for this. A fucking note, Harry. You can’t break up after almost twenty years with a fucking note!”

 

“I know, okay, I know. I didn’t know what else to do. She won’t listen to me, won’t let me say things. I never could have told her to her face.”

 

“You really are a fucking coward, Harry.”

 

“I know.” Harry rocks slightly in place, sweat drips over his forehead. His hand goes up to the scar on his arm, follows the line with his finger. He struggles to breathe and his legs tremble.

 

“I hope you’re happy with your new boyfriend. Because he’ll be the only family you have left. You hear me. You stay away. From Ginny, from mom and dad. You’ve hurt them enough. And your kids, did you even think about your kids when you decided to fall into bed with. Bloody fuck, I don’t even want to think about it, you with him. Really, did it had to be him?”

 

Harry just nods. He holds back the whimpers that want to escape him. Ginny always said that she would make sure he would lose everything if he would ever leave her. And she will get her way, won’t she? Harry is the one that cheated on her, that left her. They will all take her side. His entire family now hates him. And his kids, they won’t understand. They probably will hate him too, be happy to never have to look at the loser they call father again.

 

“I never want to see you again, Harry. Never, you hear me,” Ron spits his way. The floo actives seconds later and he’s gone. Harry is all alone in his house. He will always be alone in this house. He dry heaves a couple of times before he falls onto his knees. He places his hands on the floor and just sits there. His entire body shivers and he sobs quietly. He’s lost everything. The one time he did something that was just for his own happiness and it destroyed it forever.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

An owl lands gracefully on the outside table next to Draco’s chair. He had followed the creatures decent for a while. He’s seen the owl before on the few times Harry had sent him a message to either confirm or cancel their plans. Draco considers ignoring the animal. If Harry begs him to reconsider, Draco won’t be able to say no again. He’ll be Harry’s mistress for as long as he would have him. Even if it means it will break Draco apart in the end.

 

The owl hops closer to Draco and holds out his leg. The note is just a small piece of paper, crumpled together and hardly tied to the owl's leg. It’s a miracle the owl didn’t lose it during flight.

 

Draco takes the little note and opens it carefully. His eyes scan the words in front of him. He reads them, over and over again. They can’t be true. He said he wouldn’t do anything stupid. This counts as stupid. Draco is sure it counts as a stupid thing to do. Draco looks back at the owl. It’s still on the table next to him. His eyes are large and demanding as it tells him to hurry. And maybe he should. Some of the words were smeared out like moisture had reached them before they could dry properly.

 

With the note still in his hand, Draco stands up and runs into the house. He screams at the air that he has to go and that he doesn’t know when he will be back. The house magic will make sure Mila and Toby hear, so they won’t worry when Draco doesn’t appear for dinner. Draco steps into the heart and Flo's to 12 Grimmauld Place.

 

Draco coughs when he steps into the study. Dust flies around him and he wonders how Harry can stay here in this mess. Draco looks around, follows the bookshelves and admires the family tree on the wall. He’s sure he’ll be on there somewhere, as a descended of the Black family.

 

“Harry?” Draco calls when nobody shows up to greet him. A small whimper comes from the corner of the room and Draco turns into its direction. Harry sits on the floor next to a dead plant. His legs pulled against his chest, his face hidden in his knees. He rocks back and forth on the floor. Draco rushes towards him and sits down next to him, pulls him into his arms.

 

“Fuck Harry, I said not to do anything stupid. Leaving your wife counts as something stupid, you idiot.”

 

Harry doesn’t respond. He just cries harder, borrows his face closer to Draco’s chest. Draco holds him, places small kisses on his short hairs. He has no idea what else to do. So he just waits for Harry to calm down.

 

“I didn’t think I would lose them all,” Harry says after a while.

 

“Who?” Draco asks.

 

“My family,” Harry chokes. The tears start to stream again. Harry’s body shivers in Draco’s arms. Draco fights to keep his own tears at bay. He hates when Harry is like this. So broken and small.

 

“You still got me, okay. And your children, they can’t stop you from being their dad. You hear me. You’re not alone.”

 

“Ron hates me, Draco. Ginny is heartbroken. He said he wanted to kill me.”

 

“Shh, it’s going to be fine. They are just upset. Ron will calm down, remember that you’re his best friend and that you and Ginny haven’t been doing great for a long time.”

 

“I don’t think he knows,” Harry whispers. Draco places his hand under his chin and forces Harry to look up at him.

 

“What do you mean? He must know that you and Ginny have had problems for years now. You said you talked to him and Hermione about it.”

 

Harry looks down, avoids Draco’s eyes. He doesn’t say a word. Draco looks at his face as a small tear falls from Harry’s eye and travels over his cheek. And then he just pulls him against his chest again.

 

“I didn’t lie, I did talk to them. Only Ron, he never liked me saying anything bad about his sister. So I stopped. Hoped it would get better.”

 

“It’s fine, Harry. I just…” Draco starts. Thought you at least told Hermione that Ginevra turns her wand on you whenever she feels like it, he thinks. He doesn’t say it though, knows it won’t help now. Harry chose to leave Ginevra for him. Is even risking losing his children if his family doesn’t know what his marriage was really like. And all so that he can be with Draco. Stupid Gryffindor, always act first and think later.

 

“Fuck, Harry. I love you. And that you are willing to leave Ginevra, so you can be with me. You have no idea how happy that makes me. But you need to be sure. You understand me. If what you say is true, then Ginevra is going to use your children to get what she wants. It’s going to be a fight, and I can only support you from the sideline. If I get involved too much you will lose for certain. That doesn’t mean I won’t be with you every step of the way. But the wizarding world isn’t kind to people like us, they will not understand. Even more so that you would choose to be with me, a convicted war criminal.”

 

Harry struggles to get out of Draco’s grip, and Draco knows that he wants to protest.

 

“I know, Harry, you don’t see me like that. You don’t like when I say it, but it’s the trued. I was convicted for the crimes I committed during the war. And our world hasn’t forgiven about it and they won’t anytime soon. Not now that I’m polluting their precious Saviour.”

 

“Don’t,” Harry says, only Draco doesn’t let him continue. He knows Harry hates that word, hates being called a saviour.

 

“I’ll do anything for you, okay. I’ll take it all if it means that I can be with you. Fuck Harry, it’s the only thing I want. To wake up next to you, look into those soft eyes of you before I have to face the world. To spend all my time with you. Because I love you. Will always love you. But I need you to be sure you want this too, that you’re willing to fight for us. That you won’t change your mind when you’re family doesn’t come around and stuns you completely.”

 

Silence fills the room and Draco fears that this will be it. Harry won’t do anything to risk losing his children. And Draco can’t blame him for that. He also wouldn’t do anything that could mean losing Scorpius.

 

Harry looks back up at Draco. His eyes are red and his skin is splotchy. He sniffles and then clears his throat. His jaw is set and he makes strong eye contact with Draco.

 

“I’m scared. Terrified of losing my family. But I can’t go back, I won’t. I want to feel safe and loved, not scared and,” Harry shakes his head, “unloved, or like I’m something to be ashamed of. That’s how I feel when I’m with her. But you, fuck Draco, you love me for who I am, not for who I’m supposed to be. I feel loved by you, feel safe when I’m with you. I can’t lose that, you hear me. I’ll fight to keep this, keep us. It’s all I want.”

 

Their lips meet and they share a long passionate kiss. Afterwards, they just sit on the floor, Harry’s head rests on Draco’s shoulder and their fingers are entwined together. Draco looks at the white line on Harry’s finger where his wedding ring used to be. He can’t still believe that Harry chose him, is risking everything to be with him. It’s more than Draco ever hoped for.

 

“Let’s go back to my place,” Draco uppers.

 

“You don’t like my new home?” Harry jokes.

 

“Maybe after you’ve cleaned it. Right now, it’s a dump and I’m not sleeping here tonight.”

 

“Fine, we’ll go back to yours. Only if you promise you’ll help me fix up this place. Make it a home, our home?”

 

“Our home,” Draco says with a small hesitation in his voice. It sounds good. Like a promise of a life together, just the two of them and their crazy children. “Yes, let’s turn this place into our home.”

 

Draco doesn’t have to look at Harry to know he has a smile on his face. Draco’s lips have turned upwards too.


	4. A New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, just a little heads-up. I've started a new full-time job last week which is great. The only downside is that I've got a lot less writing time, so it will probably take me some more time to write the next couple of chapters.

People look at them as they pass by the bench. They probably wonder who they are and what they’re doing on a bench in front of some old houses in Islington. Not that the houses look old. The neighbourhood has been renovated since the last time Draco was here as a child. The park behind them now has a proper playground where kids scream and play. Harry had given the swings a wistful look when they walked by them. Memories of Lily on swings had flooded Draco’s mind. Every park they went this summer, Lily had found a swing set and played on them for hours. And soon Lily would play on these, Draco is sure of it.

 

Draco looks back at the house in front of him. He knows he and Harry are the only ones that can see 12 Grimmauld Place. It’s still under a Fidelius Charm and Unplottable. The steps are worn and the front door is battered. It looks terrible besides the clean houses on either side. There is a silver knocker in the shape of a twisted serpent on the door. No lock, no handles. Harry had explained the door would only open with magic. Just another thing they will have to change.

 

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Draco asks.

 

“Yes, I’d like to get to know my neighbours without them wondering where I live.”

 

Draco nods and slides his fingers in Harry’s. “The street is empty now,” he says.

 

Harry pulls his wand out of his sleeve and waves it around. He says the incantations and waits. Nothing happens. There are no indications the spells have worked.

 

“Did Hermione say how we can see if it worked?”

 

“No, she didn’t. She only sent the note with instructions. And I didn’t want to go find her and ask. I don’t thinks she wants to talk to me right now.”

 

Draco squeezes Harry’s hand. The last two weeks have been hard. Harry’s family have all sided with Ginny, none of them will answer Harry’s calls or letters. Only Hermione had been civil. She had sent Harry notes at work, to tell him that Ginny didn’t want Harry to tell the children, that she will tell them when they would come home for Christmas break. Harry had agreed. Draco thinks it’s a mistake, he’s afraid that Ginny won’t tell why Harry really left. Not that Harry will, he hasn’t said a word about it since his fight with Ron.

 

And that is just the first part of the issue it presents. Scorpius has asked several times now in his letters if Draco has already told Harry. And if Draco did, Scorpius wants to know how it went, wants to know if they are still friends. Draco hates lying to Scorp, but there’s no other way. If he tells him that Harry has practically moved in with him and shares his bed every night, it will get back to the Potter children. And that will just make everything worse.

 

Harry and Draco had been to Grimmauld Place a couple of times when they were off work. Draco had wandered through the house, felt it’s magic and knew they had their work cut out for them. The magic woven into it is restless and angry. Probably because it has been abandoned for so long. There is no way the children can visit here during Christmas. And the difficult task of calming the magic within has to wait because the war with the Doxies takes up all their time spent here. The little creatures are everywhere in the house. They have infested the draperies and the beddings, and Draco doesn’t even want to know how the pantry looks like. At least Harry was able to get rid of the Boggart hiding in a cabinet on the attic. Draco hates those creatures.

 

“You think Ginny will let me see the kids during the break?” Harry asks without looking at Draco. His eyes stay focused on the house in front of them.

 

“She has no right to keep them away from you, Harry.”

 

Harry shakes his head and his shoulders hunch forward. “I cheated on her and then left with only a note to tell her our marriage was over. She can do whatever she wants.”

 

Draco closes his eyes and prays for strength. This isn’t the first time Harry blames himself for his failed marriage. Draco wishes that he could bring up the build-up to why Harry left. It wasn’t just that he fell in love with Draco and they both know it. That was only the last push out of the door. Only Harry won’t talk. He doesn’t even let Draco apply the lotions on his back to threat his scars. Not that this surprises Draco, it was the same for his mom. His father had been dead for over five years before she talked about the times Lucius had hurt her physically. It had been difficult, to see his mother fall apart in front of him. Even harder to hear the story of that one time his father killed his own unborn child, Draco’s little sister, and how he had damaged Narcissa is such a way that she could never have children again.

 

A young couple with a stroller walk by and instead of looking at Draco and Harry they look at the house in front of them. The man shakes his head and utters to his wife that he thought that there was no number 12. It’s the only reaction they have to the magically appeared house. Draco can’t help the smile that forms on his face. Hermione might try to keep out of all the mess that is going on in the Weasley family, she at least gave them the proper spells to make Grimmauld Place visible to Muggles again.

 

“I think it worked,” Harry says. He stands up and walks towards the door. “Now I just have to figure out how to get a normal lock on this door.”

 

Draco gets up and follows him to the door. “You really are big on this becoming part of the Muggle neighbourhood, are you?” He slips his hands around Harry’s waist and rests his head on his shoulder.

 

“Yes, I think it’s good for the kids. And it will be easier for you, with you working in the Muggle world and all.”

 

Draco turns Harry around in his arms so he can see his face. “And what about you, do you want to lie all the time about what you do and who you are?” Draco asks.

 

Harry just pulls up his shoulders. “It’s no big deal. Not if it makes you and the kids happy.” 

 

Harry looks towards the floor. Draco pushes Harry’s face upwards with his hand. “It is a big deal, Harry. This is your house, the one given to you by your Godfather. Opening it up to Muggles means changing it drastically.”

 

Harry shakes his head and looks back at the ground. His hands slide around Draco’s waist and pull him close. “I want to do this, Draco. I’ve been wanting to do this for years, ever since the war ended. It’s Ginny that didn’t want to live here, who wanted a home close to her parents.”

 

“Okay,” Draco says and then he pushes Harry’s face upwards again so he can look him in the eyes. “Let’s make this into a proper home, one where all our children can invite their friends over, magical and muggle alike.”

 

The kiss comes as a surprise. Harry’s lips brush Draco’s lightly and are gone again in seconds. But they tell Draco all he needs to know and he can’t keep the smile off his face that follows. Sometimes he still can’t believe that it’s all real. Him and Harry, together and in love.

 

“You two young men have your work cut out for you,” an unfamiliar voice says. Draco and Harry look back at the street where an elderly couple stands grinning at them. A large dog jumps up the steps to where Draco and Harry stand, still with their arms around each other's waists. Harry’s hands tighten at Draco’s sides when the dog bumps into them. Draco slides one of his hands into Harry’s and uses his other hand to pet the dog. Harry steps behind Draco and Draco has to fight not to laugh. Is Harry really scared of a normal muggle dog?

 

“Benny, come here boy,” the man says. His wife claps her hands and Benny turns around, back to his owners.

 

“I always wondered if anyone would ever buy this dump and do something with it. You boys going to make it look less like a house meant for ghosts?”

 

“We’re planning to, sir,” Draco answers. He walks down the steps and holds out his hand to the man. The man takes it and gives Draco a firm handshake. “I’m Draco Malfoy.” Draco turns his head towards Harry, who hesitantly steps down. “And this beautiful man is Harry Potter.”

 

“Nice to meet you both,” the man answers. “I’m Isaac, and this is my wife Marion. We live at number 25. Been there since I was a little boy.”

 

“Oh, don’t let him get started about how the neighbourhood was respectable back then and how he had to witness the downfall until some young kids started to settle here and fix up the place. He will keep you up for hours.”

 

Harry laughs softly. “I would love to hear it one day,” he says while he shakes Isaac’s hand.

 

“See Marion, not everyone is uninterested in the history of this place. When my parents bought the house, it was one of the most luxurious in town.”

 

Marion shakes her head and waves her hand towards the park. “Maybe first let them settle in, and then we can have them over for coffee and you can tell, Harry wasn’t it, my dear?”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“Then you can tell Harry all about the history of this small neighbourhood. But now you have a dog that wants to run around in the park and these young men have a house to fix up.”

 

Isaac and Marion say their goodbyes and Draco pulls Harry close to him again. “Was that dog really that scary?” he asks with a teasing voice.

 

“Fuck yes, did you see how big it was?”

 

“And that from a man that fought a dragon, twice. I would think a little dog won’t bother you so much.”

 

Harry pushes Draco away from him. “You’ll talk differently after you’ve had an aunt who loved to set her dogs loose on you.”

 

“Your aunt? The one that raised you?” Draco hopes he heard it wrong. He knows Harry’s upbringing wasn’t all that great, but sure they wouldn’t have dogs attack him. That’s just barbaric.

 

“No, not her. Uncle Vernon’s sister. She used to bread these ugly fight dogs. And when she would visit, she would…” Harry shakes his head and looks back at the house, “Fuck, I’m glad she passed away. I hated her even more than my aunt and uncle.”

 

Harry pulls his want out of his sleeve again and taps it against the door. Without any trouble, it opens and lets Draco and Harry walk in. Draco can hear the Doxies run for cover. He sighs and follows Harry along to the lounge. They will win this war, claim this house as their own. Even if it’s the last thing Draco does, he’ll give Harry this. A home where he can feel safe and loved.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

The train comes to a stop and in an instant, the platform around Draco is filled up with children. He looks around to spot Scorpius his platinum hair. The sooner they can get away, the better. The weasel and Ginevra are on the other side of the platform and Draco haven’t missed how they throw dirty looks at him from time to time. He’s sure they blame him for the break between Ginevra and Harry. At least Ginevra is telling their children today. Draco hated lying to his son, hated to see how hard it was on Harry to keep up appearances at work. There split will become public knowledge now. And soon people will realise that Harry now lives with Draco. And once the Prophet finds out the Malfoy name will again get dragged through the mud.

 

Draco spots Scorpius exit the train, followed by Albus. The boys talk while they walk towards Draco. Why didn’t Draco think of this? Of course those boys would exit the train together. He hugs Scorpius quickly when the boy reaches him.

 

“Dad, stop it. I’m too old to get hugged,” Scorpius complains.

 

“Just be glad it’s only a hug. Look at Benny, his mom is kissing him all over,” Albus says. Both boys laugh, not aware of the commotion on the other side, where Ronald is pushing his way towards them.

 

“Albus, it’s lovely to see you, but I think you need to go meet up with your own family,” Draco says.

 

Albus and Scorpius both raise their eyebrow. “Dad, don’t be stupid. James always takes forever to leave the train, it will be ages before the Potter family is ready to leave,” Scorp says.

 

Draco rubs his hands down his pant legs and shakes his head. “I’m sorry boys, but you’ll have to say goodbye for now.”

 

Albus looks around and spots his uncle forcing himself towards them. “Mister Malfoy, what’s going on?” he asks.

 

“Albus, just please go to your mother. She’ll explain it to you,” Draco says. He doesn’t want to start a scene at King Cross station. He just wants to take his son home and tell him that he was right.

 

“Did you tell him, dad?” Scorpius asks. His hand reaches for Draco’s and holds it firmly.

 

Draco just nods his head. He’s afraid to speak. Someone could overhear, or he might say something that will upset Albus. Does the boy even know that his father is bisexual? Harry never said if he talked to his children about it.

 

“Fuck, and dad told my mom and now all hell is breaking loose. Scorp, I’ll write you tonight,” Albus yells while he runs towards Ronald. Draco follows him with his eyes and sees they are having some heated words.

 

“I’m sorry, dad,” Scorpius says and Draco turns back towards his son. Scorpius squeezes Draco’s hand and gives him a small smile that doesn’t really reach his eyes.

 

“It’s okay. Let’s get out of here. There’s a lot I need to tell you.”

 

Together they walk towards the apparition point. Scorpius doesn’t let go of Draco’s hand and soon they are spinning through space.

 

They land just outside the Manor gates, which open on their arrival. With large strides, they walk towards the house. Mila is already waiting for them by the door. She hugs Scorpius and he lets her kiss his forehead.

 

“I’ve set down some dinner for you both in the small dining room,” she informs them.

 

“Thank you, Mila. You can take the rest of the night off, Scorpius and I will clean the dishes once we’ve finished eating.”

 

“Thank you, sir. Enjoy your meal.” Mila bows and disappears with a loud crack.

 

Scorpius throws his backpack towards the stairs while he passes it on his way to the dining room. Draco shakes his head but lets it go for now. There are more important things to discuss tonight.

 

When he walks into the dining room, Scorpius is already dishing himself massive loads of food.

 

“Didn’t you eat on the train?” Draco asks.

 

“Yeah, we got some lunch and some snacks, but that was ages ago. And I’ve missed Mila’s cooking, no-one makes creped potatoes like her.”

 

Draco sits down and places a small amount of food on his plate. He has no idea how to start the conversation he’s supposed to be having right now. But he can’t really postpone it, not with Harry in the house.

 

“So you told Albus’ dad that you love him, then?” Scorpius asks in between bites.

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

“And, what happened? Rose’s dad looked pretty mad at you. Did you try to kiss him or something?”

 

Draco puts down his cutlery. He looks at his food and signs.

 

“Dad, are you okay?”

 

Scorpius sounds worried and Draco forces himself to look at his son. “I’m fine,” he says. “Better than fine, really.” He tries to stop the smile that forms on his face, tries to hide the joy he feels whenever he thinks about the fact that Harry loves him. Only he knows he fails completely.

 

“Merlin’s hell, Albus was right,” Scorpius shouts.

 

“What do you mean, Albus was right?”

 

“Oh, I told him. About how you’ve been madly in love with his dad for like forever. And that you were planning on telling him. Well, and Al just said that his dad feels the same about you. I didn’t believe him, said he was crazy. But he just went on, saying how he’s never seen his dad smile at anyone as he smiles at you. And he was right, wasn’t he.”

 

Draco looks at Scorpius. His eyes have gone wide and his hands tremble on top of the table. He opens his mouth to say something, only to close it again. Scorpius gets up from his chair and flings his arms around Draco.

 

“Well, did he tell you he loves you to?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, he did,” Draco stutters.

 

“I’m so happy for you, dad.” Scorpius burrows his head into the crook of Draco’s neck for a second and then he lets go, moves back to his own chair, picks up his cutlery and shovels another load of food into his mouth.

 

“You might not be able to visit Albus for a while. I’m sorry.”

 

“Dad, don’t worry about that. I can survive two weeks without him.”

 

“Don’t speak with your mouth full,” Draco says out of habit.

 

“Sorry, dad. I’m just so excited. So, did he leave Albus’ mom?”

 

The way Scorpius says it, like it’s the best thing in the world, bugs Draco. It’s not a good thing when a marriage breaks apart, no matter how abusive it was, to begin with.

 

“Scorpius, I destroyed a marriage, tore your best friends family apart. Can you maybe be a little less happy about this?”

 

“Why? You’re happy, right?”

 

Draco wants to lie. He never believed in divorce, was raised with the idea that you only marry once in your life and you stick with that person forever. But he can’t say he isn’t happy that Harry made the choice to end his marriage so he can be with Draco. Draco shakes his head and says: “Yes, I am.”

 

“And he’s happier with you than that he was with Albus’ mom. So I don’t see the problem. And Albus won’t either. He already predicted this would happen.”

 

Draco looks back to the food on his plate. Maybe it really is that simple. Harry wasn’t happy, hadn’t been happy for so long. But when he’s with Draco he laughs and smiles. It’s hard to imagine that isn’t the Harry most people see. That it is Draco who makes that happen, makes Harry feel loved and safe. And if Albus had seen it, then maybe James and Lily will have seen it too. Maybe they won’t hate Draco for destroying their family. Maybe everything will really be alright.

 

“He’s staying here at the mansion, just until he’s fixed up his own place enough to move in there.”

 

“He’s getting his own place? Without you?”

 

Draco shakes his head. “Not without me. I’ll keep the manor for as long as you want to call this place your home. And I can stay here during your holidays. But I’ll be moving with him.”

 

“Dad, your way too sentimental. I love this house, but I’ve you’re moving in with your boyfriend, I’m moving with you.”

 

“But this is your home.”

 

“Yes, because it’s where you live. I loved growing up here, and I love how it reminds me of mom. But that doesn’t mean I need to live here for the rest of my life.”

 

“I just thought,” Draco starts. Scorpius raises his hand and just waltzes over Draco’s words.

 

“Stop it right there, dad. I don’t care where we live, as long as we can be together. And if that means moving to some different house where you and Albus’ dad can start a life together, that that’s were I’ll live.”

 

Small tears escape Draco’s eyes. They slowly travel down his cheeks. Scorpius is so much like his mother sometimes it hurts.

 

“Oh Dad, don’t start crying. It’s okay. If mom would still be here, she would have been so proud of you. I’m proud of you.”

 

Draco gets up from his chair, pulls Scorpius from his own and hugs him tightly. “Thank you,” he says with a choked-up voice. Scorpius folds his arms around Draco.

 

“I love you, dad,” Scorpius says after a while. Draco can only nod his head in response.

 

“Thinks are going to get ugly now, aren’t they? Just like when Grandma died?”

 

“Yes, they will.” As much as Draco would like it not to be true. The world will blame him for the failed marriage of their Saviour, their role model. And Scorpius is going to feel it too.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be, I can take it. I’m just happy that you are happy. It’s all I want for you, dad. And we won’t be alone this time. We’ll have the famous Harry Potter on our side.”

 

They bought laugh a little, but it’s short-lived. Their world is turning upside down and even Harry’s fame won’t protect them from the landslide that’s sure to come.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Dad! Where are you, dad? I know your here somewhere. DAD!”

 

Harry looks up from his book. That is not Scorpius screaming. No, it’s Albus. Harry hurries out of the room and looks down the hallway. Albus is on the other side. He’s pulling on one of his too-long sleeves. Draco had asked about them once, said it looked like Harry and Ginny were too lazy to get Albus some proper clothes. Harry had shaken his head and told Draco to stop being so uptight about it. Albus loves it when his sleeves are too long, when he can hide his hands inside them. He never wants them to be taken in. And then Draco had reminded Harry why he’s with him now and not with Ginny. Draco had given Harry a soft kiss on his cheek and just moved on to the next subject. Ginny had always tried to push Harry to just take Albus’ clothes to Madam Malkin’s to get them fixed. That it was already bad enough that he had to wear Slytherin colours all the time.

 

Albus runs across the hall and flings himself into Harry’s arms. Harry holds him close while Albus cries. His heartbeat races inside him. He never wanted to hurt his kids. And here one of them is, sobbing and clinging onto Harry because of what he did. Harry has no idea what to say, how to make the pain go away.

 

“I want to live with you, daddy,” Albus sobs. “I don’t want to live with mom. She’s saying all these awful things about you, and about Scorp’s dad. I don’t want to stay there, please don’t make me stay there.”

 

Harry’s throat feels dry. Albus doesn’t hate him. Even wants to stay with him and not his mom. Harry was sure his kids would all hate him for what he did. Was sure Albus was here to tell him what a selfish ass he is for leaving.

 

“Albus, your mom doesn’t want you to stay here. You’ll have to go back. I know it’s hard, but I promise. Your mom and I will figure it all out, come to some arrangement. But until then you need to stay with her.”

 

Albus pulls out of Harry’s hug and stands up straight. “No, I don’t. Mom is wrong. You’re my dad, and I want to be here with you.”

 

“Please, Al. I don’t want to make everything worse. I’ve already made a mess of your lives by leaving.”

 

“I don’t want to stay with her. Please daddy, please don’t make me go back to her.” Tears stream down Albus’ face. Harry wants to pull him close again, tell him everything is going to be okay. But he can’t. He’s not even sure himself if all will be okay.

 

The door at the end of the hall opens. James pokes his head around the door, looks at Harry and then turns back inside the room. Harry’s knees wobble and he stretches his hand towards the door. Albus turns around to see and then James walks into the hallway, his hand held tightly by Lily. Lily has her stuffed unicorn in her other hand and her pink backpack on her back. James has his messenger bag and Albus his backpack slung over his shoulder.

 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Harry says. His voice wavers. He can’t believe his kids' flood to the manor to come see him.

 

“I told mom we’re staying with you until Christmas,” James says. “I hope that will give her plenty of time to stop acting like a hurt little puppy.”

 

“James, don’t talk about your mother like that.”

 

James' eyes widen and his face turns red. “Why not, she’s acting like she’s blameless. That it’s all on you that you left her. Fuck, dad, she was hardly at home last summer hols. And now she thinks she can start pretending to be the perfect mom.”

 

“You’re not supposed to say fuck, James. Dad will get angry and give you nasty choirs to do.”

 

Harry shakes his head and gives Lily a soft smile. “You’re right, he’s not supposed to say fuck. And he won’t say it again.”

 

“Fine dad, I won’t. Just don’t get all you and try to send us back. We’re staying with you for now. I don’t care what mom wants and thinks. You’re the one who always takes care of us during the holidays. I don’t see why you living with Mister Malfoy now has to change that.”

 

“You’re not mad at me for leaving.”

 

“Daddy, why should we be mad?” Lily asks.

 

“Because I cheated on your mother, for breaking our family apart,” Harry starts. He wants to say more but he can’t. Tears stream down his face, he tries to hide them with his hands, only James grabs his hands and pulls them down.

 

“Dad, you didn’t break our family by yourself. Mom is just as guilty as you.” Tears fall from James his eyes. “I won’t lie, dad. It hurts that you and mom aren’t together anymore. But you’re our dad, and we know this wasn’t easy for you, to make the decision to leave. And we don’t hate you, we love you. Fuck, dad, I love you.”

 

“I love you too, I love all of you.” Harry has hardly finished his words before he has three kids pushing against him. He folds his arms around them as best he can and just holds them close. His legs are wobbly but he manages to stay upright. He looks up and his eyes catch Draco’s. Draco smiles at him, that sweet smile that seems to be only reserved for Harry. Harry mouths a thank you towards him and Draco just nods his head. He turns around and walks away from the scene. Harry closes his eyes, holds his kids close and let the happy tears fall from his eyes.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco reluctantly opens the front door. He’d just informed Mila that he needs her help after all this evening because of the unexpected guest. Very welcome guests, but still unexpected. Granger who now steps into the manor isn’t welcome. It’s not like it’s a mystery why she’s here.

 

“I’m sorry to arrive so late, only Ginny is beside herself and is threatening to call the authorities,” Granger says. She pulls a hand through her hair that hangs loosely around her face. It’s still as bushy as it was in school.

 

“You are better than a bunch of Aurors who are a little too willing to arrest me, believe me,” Draco jokes. “Or an angry ex-wife ready to hex me to hell.”

 

Granger gives Draco a stern look. “I’m not here to joke around, Malfoy. Just tell me where Harry is and I can sort out this mess and get back to my own children.”

 

Draco nods and leads Ganger to a small sitting room. She sits down on one of the living chairs and Draco plants himself on the sofa.

 

“Where’s Harry?” Granger asks.

 

“Having a moment with his children. He’ll join us when he can.”

 

“Malfoy, this is serious. If I don’t take them home today, Ginny is sure to call the Auror department.”

 

“And what are they going to do? Arrest Harry for spending time with his own children? It’s not like he kidnapped them. He has a right to see them, Granger, just as much as Ginevra does.”

 

“I know he does,” Granger snaps. “But that family won’t listen to reason. Even Ron is being a dick-head. It’s like they all forgotten that Ginny hasn’t been to family gatherings for almost a year, that Harry had to look after the kids every holiday on his own because Ginny was working. I told Ron this would happen, that those kids would go see Harry as soon as they knew where he was staying. But no, they all believed that once Ginny told them their father had cheated on her with a man that they would hate him as much as she hates him at the moment.”

 

Granger rests her head in her hands. Her hair falls forward while she looks at the floor. It’s in that moment that Mila appears in the doorway.

 

“Master Draco, do you want me to bring you and your guest some tea? I’m brewing some for Mister Harry and his children. It will be no problem to make an extra cuppa.”

 

“That will be lovely, Mila. Thank you. Were you able to find rooms for all the children?”

 

“I did, but I think they are staying in Mister Harry’s room tonight. Young lady Lily has already fallen asleep in her father's bed.” Mila smiles and brushes her hand over her chest. “She’s a lovely girl, very polite.”

 

Draco laughs softy. Yes, Lily can be very polite, when it suits her. Draco hasn’t missed her tantrums last summer when she didn’t get what she wanted. She’s a handful from time to time. But she’s one of Harry’s, and therefor Draco will love her no matter what.

 

“Will Harry be able to join us?” Granger asks.

 

“I’m not sure, miss. I can ask him when I bring up the tea. Who can I say is visiting?”

 

“She’s Granger. And I can deal with it, you don’t have to tell Harry she’s here. His children need him right now, more than Harry needs to be here for this conversation.”

 

“Malfoy, I know you and Harry are together now, but this is about his children, you have no right to make decisions about them for him.”

 

“No Granger, you just want Harry here because you know he will give in the moment you tell him Ginny is threatening to get me arrested. Merlin, like he’s not hurting enough already. Just give him one fucking night with his children. Is that really too much to ask? He’s already lost his entire family and his friends. All because none of you bothered to ask him why he left. You just assumed it was all about me. Didn’t you ever think that maybe there was more to it all, another reason why he left her? Fuck, you’re supposed to be his best friends.”

 

Draco stares at Granger. She has closed her eyes and small tears start to fall from them. Draco doesn’t care he’s hurt Granger’s feelings. Maybe it’s about time for her to hear how much she and Ronald hurt Harry by siding with Ginevra on this.

 

“The night he left, do you know what Ronald told him? Because I do. I was the one that found him crying in a corner because his best friend had told him he wanted to kill him,” Draco continues.

 

Granger’s eyes snap open and her mouth becomes a thin line. “He did not.”

 

“Yes, he did. Your lovely husband told Harry that he never wanted to see him again, that all of you were better off without him. And then you all dropped him like he never meant anything to you. I had hoped that maybe you would reach out to him, would be decent enough to get his side of the story. But no, you all didn’t care. And the worst part is, he pretends he doesn’t care, that he’s okay as long as he has me. But you and I both know that’s a lie.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Granger whispers. “I didn’t know. I really didn’t know. I would have told Harry that it wasn’t true. We still care about him, we really do. He’s just as much a part of our family as Ginny is. Ron, he just. Well, he doesn’t know what to think. Ginny is his little sister and she’s hurt. That’s all he sees, while Harry is off enjoying his new life with you.”

 

“You think he isn’t hurt? Merlin, Hermione, he’s heartbroken. He loves all of you, you’re his family. The only fucking family he has. Why do you even think he stayed with her for so long?”

 

“I know, Malfoy, I know!” Granger gets up out of her chair and starts to walk up and down the room. “It’s all just so messed up now with you in the picture. And don’t start, I know you were the final push out of the door. I haven’t been blind, that marriage ended years ago. Only I seem to be the only one willing to admit it.”

 

“I never meant to break them apart, or to hurt his children this way. But I won’t say I’m sorry, not for loving Harry.”

 

Granger sits back down on her chair. She pulls a small notebook out of her bag and looks for an empty page. “You don’t have to be. If you are what makes him happy then I’m happy he’s here. It’s all I ever wanted for him. After all he’s been through, he deserves a little happiness.”

 

Draco shakes his head. Does Granger know about the abuse? Is that why she’s so okay with Harry being here with Draco? But if she knows, wouldn’t she have taken action before now? Draco doesn’t know what to think.

 

“I’ll tell Ginny that the children will stay with Harry for now. But they can’t stay here the entire holiday, Ginny will never agree to that.”

 

“I overheard James saying he told Ginevra that they were staying here until Christmas.”

 

“That’s good, they’ll stay here until Christmas morning. They can floo to the Burrow for Christmas dinner, so Ginny and Harry don’t have to interact. I think that’s for the best right now. I’ll sort it with Ginny, pull some lawyer crap to make it so she doesn’t have a choice.”

 

Draco smiles at Granger.

 

“What’s so funny, Malfoy?”

 

“Oh, just you going from all emotional to Granger the lawyer in seconds. I now understand a little better why people are so terrified of you.”

 

Granger laughs. “I’m not terrifying, just good at my job.”

 

“Ginevra is going to fight all of this, isn’t she?”

 

“Yes, she will. And she’ll have most of the wizarding world on her side. Make sure Harry understands that.”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

Granger nods and writes down some more notes. “This is the number of a good lawyer who can help him. He’s going to need one before all this is over. It’s the best I can do.”

 

“Thanks, Granger.”

 

Granger tears the page out of her notebook and gives it the Draco. “Take care of him, and tell him I love him and that I’m proud of him for finally following his own heart.”

 

“I’ll will.” Draco looks at the name and number on the page, he’s never heard of this man before. But well, he hasn’t needed a proper lawyer in the magical world since his trail after the war.

 

“Can I floo home from here? It’s pretty cold tonight.”

 

“Sure, no problem.” Draco escorts Granger to the floo and then goes to find Harry to tell him the good news. The bad news can wait for tomorrow. Right now Harry deserves a little break.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry looks around the room. Albus and Scorpius are beneath the Christmas tree. Every gift gets lifted, shaken and turned around. Ideas for possible content are discussed. From time to time Lily gives her opinion from her position on the sofa. She’s hanging upside down, her long red hair flowing onto the floor. Harry has no idea how it can be comfortable, but Lily swears it’s the best way to sit on a chair. James sits next to her, his feet pulled up, a book on his knees. He doesn’t interact with the others at all. He’s always like that when he disappears into a book, gone from the world until he finishes it in one night, or until he gets told to go to sleep.

 

It’s been a good week. They didn’t go out much, just spend a lot of time playing board games and building snowmen in the massive garden. Hermione came by two days ago, with Rose and Hugo. Draco took all the kids out into the garden with the promise to show them a secret hide-out, one Harry will never find. It gave Harry and Hermione some time to talk. She explained the procedure for divorce and urgent Harry to get a decent lawyer. She also said that the family doesn’t want to talk to him right now, but that she’s sure they all still love him. Just give it some time, was her advise. Harry hates it, not being able to join his kids for Christmas dinner tomorrow at the Burrow.

 

Two hands slide around Harry’s waist and a pointed chin sets down on his shoulder. Harry’s heart skips a beat and a smile forms on his face.

 

“How’s the guessing going?” Draco asks the room.

 

“Dad, my gift from you is too small,” Scorpius says while he lays down on his back on the floor. His hands go into the air and start showing how big his gift should be. “For the broom I wanted the gift has to be at least this big, and the skateboard also won’t fit in any of these presents wrapped underneath the tree.”

 

“Well, maybe I’ve enchanted them to look smaller,” Draco answers Scorpius.

 

“Why do you want a skateboard?” Lily asks.

 

“Because they are cool. And I’m cool. It’s the perfect combination.”

 

Albus laughs. Scorpius pulls a face and Lily nods in agreement. James doesn’t seem to notice the commotion at all, still engrossed in his book. Harry can’t help but smile. It is good to see his kids feel so at home here.

 

“Did you really enchanted them, dad?” Scorpius asks.

 

“Only one way to find out,” Draco answers. His hands slip from Harry’s hips and he walks into the room. He sits down in between Lily and James. James looks up from his book, shakes his head and turns back to his page. Draco raises his eyebrows at Harry.

 

“Don’t worry, he’s always like that when he’s reading,” Albus informs Draco. “He won’t be interested in anything beneath this tree until he’s finished it.”

 

Albus falls down next to Scorpius, their heads are underneath the tree and they whisper at each other, probably discussing more possibilities for the presents. Lily has pulled her head up and rested in on Draco’s lap. Harry still can’t believe how easy all his kids accepted Draco as part of their new family. Maybe it’s because of all the time they spent with Draco and Scorpius during the summer break? Or maybe they see what Hermione saw when she came by, that Draco makes Harry happy.

 

“Shall I start on the hot choco?” Harry asks.

 

Lily starts clapping her hands and Albus screams a loud yes from under the tree. James even looks up from his book. “Do you need any help dad?” he asks.

 

“No, I’ll be fine. Just stop reading when you finish the chapter your in, no reading during the present ceremony.”

 

“Fine, dad,” James answers at the same moment Scorpius and Draco both utter the word present ceremony in a questioning way.

 

“You explain, Lily. I need to make hot choco,” Harry tells them. He turns around while Lily breaks off into an elaborate explanation of the so-called present ceremony.

 

Harry walks into the kitchen and places a pot with water on the stove. Then he takes out the chocolate bars and starts to cut them into small pieces. Once the water on the stove is boiling, Harry turns down the heat and places a small bowl on top of the pot and throws the chopped chocolate in there to melt. Then he puts a pot on the stove with enough milk to make at least six cups of good hot chocolate.

 

“You could have warned me there is an entire ritual attached to unpacking presents with Christmas,” Draco says while he walks into the room. He stirs the chocolate in the bowl. “And you know we have the powder stuff in that cabinet, goes a lot quicker.”

 

Harry places the mixer on the kitchen counter and walks back to the stove. He gives Draco a peck on his lips. “We are not having cheap hot choco with Christmas, Draco.”

 

“No, of course we’re not. How dare I even suggest it,” Draco jokes.

 

“Just stir the chocolate until it’s all melted. Gives me the time to whip the cream.”

 

“Even freshly whipped cream. We really are in for a treat tonight. Maybe you can save some for after Christmas when we have the house to ourselves again.” Draco wiggles his eyebrows and blows a kiss towards Harry.

 

“Don’t remind me,” Harry says. He turns his head towards the mixer. He measures out the sugar and puts it in with the cream. His eyes become moist and he wipes a hand over them. He won’t cry now, not while the kids are still here.

 

A warm body leans against Harry’s back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Draco says softly into his ear.

 

“It’s okay, it’s not that I don’t miss it. You and me, alone, to do whatever we want. And I know I need to get used to not having them around all the time during holidays, but it’s hard.”

 

“Of course it’s hard, I get it. I already hate that Scorpius wants to spend some time alone with his aunt in Paris, and that is only for two days.”

 

“How did Daphne take the news that I’ll be joining you all for Christmas?” Harry asks, great for the change to change the subject.

 

“Don’t know,” Draco says. He walks back to the stove to check the chocolate.

 

“You did tell her?”

 

Draco shakes his head. “Fuck Harry, I wanted to. But to tell her over the phone that I’ve already replaced her little sister. I couldn’t do it.”

 

This time it’s Harry that wraps his arms around Draco to comfort him. “She’s going to figure it out the moment she lays eyes on us. Hermione told me we looked like to high school kids in love.”

 

“Granger should keep her opinions to herself,” Draco snaps.

 

“Don’t be angry with her, Draco. She came by to apologise and offer her help. It’s not easy for her either, with the entire Weasley clan out for my blood.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry. I just hate being the reason you’re losing your family. I know what it’s like to hardly have any left. I don’t want that for you, Harry.” Draco looks so earnest, it makes Harry’s heart aitch.

 

“Draco, I made the decision to leave Ginny. You never asked me to, and I love you for that. So stop blaming yourself for the mess I made of my family life because I don’t. That’s all on me.”

 

“You’re too good for this world, Harry,” Draco tells him before he kisses him deeply.

 

“Sir’s, do you need any help?” Mila asks from behind them. Draco breaks the kiss and looks over Harry’s shoulder.

 

“No, Mila, we’re fine. Just making some hot chocolate. Do you and Toby want some? I can have Scorpius bring up two mugs once it’s ready.”

 

“Thank you, master Draco, that will be lovely.”

 

And with that Mila walks out of the kitchen.

 

“It’s hard for her to have a day off, isn’t it?” Harry asks Draco.

 

“Yes, she always struggles with it. For a long time she never got any days off, just worked all year long without any compensation. It’s still in her system. But she’ll be busy enough tomorrow to prepare our Christmas meal, she deserves a little break beforehand.”

 

Harry gives Draco another small kiss and then turns back to the chocolate. It’s fully melted and he pores it into the hot milk, whisking until it’s completely incorporated. Draco brings over the whipped cream and together they fill eight mugs. Harry snaps his fingers and a tray comes whooshing their way. Harry knows it impresses Draco every time he does wandless magic. It’s weird, Harry is so used to doing it, he hardly ever noticed he did it until Draco started telling him how sexy it is.

 

Together they levitate the mugs of hot chocolate to the living room. Draco tells Scorpius to bring two of the mugs to Mila and Toby and he and Albus disappear up the stairs. Draco sits back down between James and Lily and Harry finds a seat in the chair next to the tree. They all sip their hot choco and wait in silence for Albus and Scorpius to come back. Harry looks at his oldest and youngest, Lily curled up against Draco’s side. Even with all the turmoil around them, Harry knows that this Christmas is going to be one of his favourites for a long time.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry wakes up to a kiss on the back of his neck. A warm body lays against his back, an arm draped around his waist. Harry never wants to get out of bed when he wakes like this. He knows he has to on most days, knows he still has a job and responsibilities. But he hates that job. And it’s not become any better since word of Harry’s split with Ginny has made the press. Draco can’t even show his face anymore at the Ministry. Harry is glad he doesn’t read the Prophet to find out what they have said about Draco, or himself for that matter.

 

“I know you don’t want me to touch them, and I won’t,” Draco says from behind him. Harry closes his eyes and forces himself not to roll out of Draco’s arms.

 

“But will you let Mila apply the lotion I’ve made for you? It will help with the scar tissue.”

 

Harry shakes his head. “Draco, can we please not?”

 

Draco turns away from Harry. Harry is afraid to turn around, to see the disappointment on Draco’s face.

 

“I know you don’t want to talk about it, and you don’t have to. It’s just, I know they most hurt. And the idea of you in pain.” Draco’s voice breaks and Harry turns around in bed. Draco sits upright in bed, his face is hidden in his hands.

 

“I’m not in pain, Draco. I promise.”

 

Draco looks up, his eyes are watery. “Please don’t lie. I’ve finished most of my healer training. I’m not an idiot,” he spits.

 

“Fine, Mila can apply the cream,” Harry shouts back. He steps out of bed and walks towards the bathroom. He walks quickly, hopes he can get there in time. Once he closes the door behind him he takes a deep breath. He’s fine. Draco didn’t hurt him. He would never hurt him. Why did he even think Draco would? Why did he expect to get hit by a hex with every step he took?

 

Harry shakes his head and tosses his pants into the laundry basket. He steps into the shower and lets the hot water wash away his worries. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on the good things. On all the progress Draco and he made on Grimmauld Place in the last couple of weeks. On the lazy mornings in bed and on the relaxed evenings where Draco reads and Harry rest his head on Draco’s lap.

 

After some time Harry turns the tap off and steps out of the shower. He takes a towel and starts to dry his hair. It’s growing slowly, but it already looks better than the buzz-cut he used to have. Draco likes it, now that he can grab onto some hair when Harry sucks him off. And he never asked why Harry stopped shaving it, just accepted that Harry was growing out his hair.

 

The door to the bathroom opens. Draco hesitates in the doorway. His eyes are red like he’d been crying. “Can I come in?” he asks.

 

Harry nods his head and Draco walks up to him. He takes Harry’s face in his hand and gives him a hard kiss. He pulls away but leaves his hands on Harry’s cheeks.

 

“I’m sorry I got mad,” Draco says. “I shouldn’t have. You’ve been applying the lotion on the scars on your chest and the one on your hand. I’ve noticed the difference. The words aren’t as clear anymore as before.”

 

Harry looks down at his left hand, at the words embedded in his skin because Umbridge her silly idea of punishment.

 

“I know Umbridge used blood quills as punishment in our fifth year, but I never thought she would let it go as far as to make permanent scars,” Draco says. He takes Harry’s left hand in his own and caresses his finger over the scar.

 

“She really hated me. The feeling was mutual. I think I’m the only one with a permanent scar though, at least I hope so.”

 

“Fuck, and I helped her with her stupid ideas. All because she promised me power.”

 

Harry slides his hands onto Draco’s hips and looks him in the eyes. “Don’t go there, you’re not that boy anymore. I wouldn’t be here if you were. I hated you back then, too.”

 

“Don’t blame you,” Draco laughs. “I wasn’t at my best.”

 

Harry leans in and kisses Draco. “But it made you who you are now, and that’s all that matters.”

 

“Mother said you were hit in the chest with a killing curse, is that how you got the other lighting scar?”

 

Draco’s hand reaches up, but he stops it just before he touches Harry. It’s a small gesture, but it makes Harry’s heart jump.

 

“You can touch that one. And yes, at least we think it is. I only discovered it weeks later, when all the other cuts and bruises had healed properly. But it’s so similar to the one on my forehead, so Hermione and I figured it must be.”

 

“Well, if Hermione says so, it must be the truth.” Draco’s finger strokes over the small scar.

 

“The big scar is from a Horcrux. We had to keep it safe and it was on a necklace. Well, and we were stupid kids so we took turns to wear it around or necks. It tried to kill me when I jumped into a freezing pond to retrieve Godric's sword.”

 

Draco’s fingers move from the small lighting bolt to the large almost circle in the middle of Harry’s chest, follows its outlines and then places his hand on top of it.

 

“I’ve got bite marks from Nagini on my forearm. Hermione did what she could, but we were in the middle of nowhere and not in any position to ask anyone else for help.”

 

Draco looks at Harry’s arm. He doesn’t touch the bite marks, just shakes his head. His eyes follow Harry’s arm, up to another scar.

 

“Thank you for telling me,” Draco says. He shifts his gaze and smiles at Harry. Harry can only nod. He expected a question about the other scars. But somehow Draco knows they are different. Off-limits for now. He turns away and looks at himself in the mirror. Draco takes a step backwards, to create space between him and the scars he’s not allowed to touch.

 

Harry picks up the small bottle with lotion and looks at it. His scars do hurt from time to time. And Draco hasn’t pushed him at all, not once. Not even just now. The way he asked Harry if Mila could touch them, only because he can’t stand the idea that they might hurt Harry. Harry closes his eyes and reaches his hand that holds the lotion towards Draco. Draco takes the lotion and takes a step closer to Harry’s back. And then he waits. Harry tries to say the words but he can’t.

 

“Do you want me to apply it?” Draco asks and Harry nods.

 

“Tell me when it becomes too much,” Draco says and then a soft finger wipes some lotion over the scar at Harry’s right shoulder. It gets rubbed in softly. Harry keeps his eyes closed. His body shakes and his eyes start to water.

 

Draco’s fingers disappear for a second and then come back to apply more lotion onto the next scar. Once it’s creamed in, Draco’s lips touch it softly. It’s too much. Tears start to stream over Harry’s cheeks. He can’t believe how gently Draco touches him, even kisses the marks of all Harry’s failures. Harry can’t keep his legs upright. He grabs the sink and tries to stay upright. Draco his arms are around him in seconds. He pulls Harry against his chest.

 

“You’re safe, Harry,” Draco whispers, and then he lifts Harry up in his arms and carries him back to the bed. Harry turns against Draco’s chest and cries. His mind races. What did he do to deserve a kind man like Draco? Why did he stay with Ginny for so long? Why did he let her hurt him? Why doesn’t Draco care that Harry can’t tell him? And how does Draco always know when Harry is breaking apart?

 

Draco sits with his back against the headboard, Harry still in his arms, his head on Draco’s chest. Draco stays quiet while Harry cries. And Harry’s love for him only grows. Once he’s calmed down a little he thanks Draco.

 

“Anything for you, Harry. Anything.”

 

Harry raises his head to look at Draco’s face. “I love you,” he says before he rests his lips on Draco’s.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Ginny sits on the other side of the table. Her hair is pinned in a perfect nod and she’s wearing one of her more expensive robes that are reserved for special occasions. Her eyes are stone cold when she looks at Harry. Her mouth is a thin straight line on her face. She hasn’t said a word since she walked into the room, followed closely by her lawyer. Before all this, he also used to be Harry’s lawyer. Now he just looks at Harry like he’s a piece of garbage.

 

Harry swallows and looks back down at his hands, at the still slightly off coloured ring of flesh that had been covered by his wedding ring for years. He wonders what Ginny has done with his ring. Would she still have it? Or did she throw it away in her anger? Not that it matters, there is no way Harry wants it back. He’s been a fool to keep it for as long as he had. He knows that now that he has found true love, unconditional love, given to him by the one person society would least expect it from. Harry wishes that Draco could be with him now, support him in the battle that lies ahead. But the only person Harry could bring was his new lawyer. The one Hermione had told him to contact, Rhys Davies. He sits next to Harry now, and Harry is sure he won’t want to hold Harry’s hand when it all becomes a little bit too much for Harry.

 

A young wizard walks into the room and sits down at the head of the table. He places a case file in front of him.

 

“So, who do we have today?” he asks. He looks at Ginny first and then at Harry. “Ginevra Potter-Weasley and Harry Potter. And am I correct in understanding that it is Mister Potter that filed for the divorce?”

 

“Yes, you are,” Rhys answers on behave of Harry.

 

“Okay, will get to that in a minute. I’m Richards, I’ve spoken briefly with both of you over the Floo.” Richards looks through his papers. “I see you both signed the confidential agreements. Good, so we don’t have to worry about that now. We are here today to see if we can find a way to settle your issues without having to go to court. It will probably take more than one session to go over it all, but today I would like to get an overall idea of which aspects need sorting out.”

 

Harry looks back down at his hands that are folded on top of his knees. Hermione had told him it was a good thing that Ginny wanted to go for mediation, that it showed she was willing to talk to Harry about the conditions of their divorce. But Rhys had explained that the court orders you to go to mediation if you can’t agree on the arrangements for the children, so this can also be a way for her to get it out of the way before the court proceedings start.

 

“Mister Potter, would you like to start with explaining your situation to us?” Richards asks.

 

“My client has only one concern,” Rhys starts.

 

“No, I don’t want any lawyer talks. Rule number one of mediation, the clients' talk, not their lawyers. If it were up to me the two of you,” Richards points at Rhys and Ginny’s lawyer, “wouldn’t even be in this room. So from now on, both of you stay quiet. I assure you, none of what gets said in this meeting is allowed to leave this room. Now Mister Potter, if you could please tell me about your situation.”

 

Harry closes his eyes briefly. He’s not sure if he can do this. Rhys had said he would do most of the talking, that he would make sure Ginny won’t intimidate him. And now Richards tells them Rhys needs to shut up, that Harry has to speak for himself. Harry opens his eyes and looks at Richards, he avoids Ginny’s eyes that he can feel burning at him.

 

“I just want this over with as soon as possible. Ginny can have our house, our shared Gringotts account, I don’t really care about any of that. All I want is a fair agreement about the kids. An agreement where we share the responsibilities and time of the kids evenly. That’s the only thing that’s important to me.”

 

Richards nods his head and takes some notes. Harry looks at Ginny. Her hands are flat on the table, she lifts up her chin and looks Harry straight in the eyes. “Don’t think I’ll ever agree to my children spending any time under your influence. Not with the company you keep these days,” she spits out.

 

Harry swallows and looks back down at his hands. He fights the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes.

 

“I understand that you don’t agree with Mister Potter, Misses Potter-Weasley. That’s why we’re here, to see if we can find some common grounds. Why don’t you tell us how you see it,” Richard says.

 

“I don’t want this divorce, I want my husband to admit that he’d made a mistake and ask for forgiveness, so we can forget all of this ever happened.”

 

Tears start to slide over Harry’s cheeks. He can’t stop them. “I didn’t make a mistake,” he whispers.

 

“No, so cheating on your wife with that death eater scum was no mistake!” Ginny yells. She slams her hand on the table and Harry can feel her glare on him. He doesn’t dare to look up. He knows she won’t raise her wand at him here, where others can see, but he still fears it. His muscles stiffen and his heart rate increases.

 

“You want a divorce because I’m to cut up in my work because I don’t spend enough time with you and our children. I saw the reasons for unreasonable behaviour you’d put down on the papers. Like I’m the one who’s destroying this marriage. You are the one that left me! The one that cheated, and you make me sound like the unreasonable one.”

 

“Misses, please calm down. We’re here to try to find some common ground, not accuse each other.”

 

“Fine, I tell you, Mister Richards how I see things. If Harry wants to leave so badly he can. But I don’t want him anywhere near my children. He’s a pervert, shacking up with a death eater. I don’t want my children anywhere near that. It was bad enough they stayed with them for an entire week during the Christmas holidays. Lily is so confused about it all, cried herself to sleep almost every night. I don’t want that man hurting them any more than he’d already done.”

 

“I never mend to hurt them, you know I didn’t. I love them, more than anything.” Harry looks up and faces Ginny. “That’s why I don’t want to fight you. I don’t want this to become a battle they get dragged into.”

 

“You should have thought of that before you decided to trade me in for that scum you’re living with now.” Ginny’s nostrils flare and her she bares her teeth.

 

“Ginny, please, don’t make this about Draco. It’s not his fault I fell in love with him,” Harry begs. “Think about our kids.”

 

“I am thinking about them! You really think I would be okay with them staying in the same house as a convicted war criminal? I don’t care how you feel about him. He’s using you to get back into the wizarding world, to gain respect again. I can’t believe you fell for his lies and let him destroy us. But it seems there’s nothing I can do about that. You’ve made your choice. But I can keep my children safe, and I will. I won’t let that man anywhere near them. Or you, as long as you’re his puppet.”

 

Ginny turns towards her lawyer. “Did we do enough for us to go to court? I want the residence and contact sorted before the next school holiday.”

 

Her lawyer confirms and they both stand up and leave the room.

 

Richards shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Mister Potter,” he says. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you.”

 

“That’s fine, Richards,” Rhys says. “We didn’t expect Misses Potter-Weasley to be cooperative.”

 

Richards gets up and leaves as well with a final goodbye. Rhys lays a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “It will be okay. We’ll go to court and get this all sorted out. She has no ground to stand on. The Wizard court only counts it as cheating if you cheated on her with someone of the opposite sex. And Mister Malfoy never fought his sentence, endured it and has been an outstanding citizen ever since. She’s the one that prioritised work over her family and her children. The court will see this. So don’t worry, it’s all going to be just fine.”

 

Harry nods his head, but he doesn’t really believe it. Ginny’s got the support of their family. And people still want Draco in Azkaban for what happened in the war.

 

“Let’s go home, and I’ll owl you as soon as I have any court dates.”

 

Harry nods again and gets up slowly. He walks out of the room and towards the Floo. He wants to go home and curl up in his bed. Until Draco comes back from his shoot and can tell him it will be alright.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“This is taking forever,” Harry complains from the kitchen. “We won’t make be able to move in here before the court date.”

 

Draco turns and walks back into the kitchen. Harry sits on one of the old chairs, the only one that isn’t broken. He has his face in his hands, his elbows rest on his knees. Draco kneels down in front of him, places his hands on Harry’s arms.

 

“It’s okay, Harry. We can stay at the Manor as long as it takes.”

 

“I just want to show them that I have a good home for them.”

 

“A home is not just the house, Harry. You’re their dad, you take care of them, always put them first. That’s what matters. Not the address where you live.”

 

Slowly, Harry lifts his head out of his hands. Draco moves his hands to hold Harry’s face. “You will win this. You’re the one that’s been taking care of them for years. Supporting them, raising them. Ginevra is the one that always put her work before her family.”

 

“I just wish I wasn’t so busy at work.” Harry closes his eyes and leans into Draco’s hold. “It’s like they trying to drown me in paperwork.”

 

Draco stands up straight and pulls Harry from the chair. He guides him to the library. It’s the only room that looks a little decent now that they have managed to paint the walls. A specialist is coming next weekend to take a look at the family tree, see if they can repair the persons that have been blasted off. Draco hopes they can. It’s all the good people that have gone. He’s sure that if his great-aunt was still alive she would have blasted Draco off as well now that he’s told the world he’s gay and in love with Harry Potter.

 

“We can hire people to finish the renovations once we break out the wall with old Walburga’s portrait. It will speed it up if that’s what you want,” Draco tells Harry. They sit down on the sofa. Harry slips under Draco’s arm and rests his head on Draco’s chest.

 

“I don’t want to hire any people, I want extra time to do it.”

 

Draco sighs, he feels like they had this conversation already last week, and the week before that. Every Sunday afternoon it’s the same.

 

“If you want I can take some time during the week. My schedule hasn’t been as busy as yours. I’m sure I can paint some walls.”

 

Harry shakes his head. “Don’t know, if I could just take some time off. We need to get that stupid portrait out so I can get the people for the electricity in. It won’t do us any good to paint the walls in the kitchen, the living room and the kids' rooms if they have to break them open to get it to work.”

 

“Did you sent them the paint samples?”

 

“Yes, this afternoon. All the different shades of purple and yellow for Lily, red and yellow shades for James and a massive packet with green, blue, grey and black shades for Albus and Scorpius. This whole every wall needs to have a different colour idea of them is still going strong.”

 

Draco laughs. “You should have told them it was never happening. Once Scorp has an idea and even just a small form of permission he goes all the way.”

 

“Fuck, sometimes I forget how different he and Albus are. Al would look at the walls and just tell me to paint them whatever James wants,” Harry says.

 

“It will be good for James to get his own room now that he’s off age,” Draco says.

 

“Don’t remind me. I can’t believe it’s been over seventeen years, I’m getting old,” Harry complains.

 

Draco’s hand pushes Harry’s hairs around on his head. “Can’t see any grey hairs, you’re still fine. Good for a couple of more years.”

 

“They’ll get grey soon enough. I just read the other day that stressful work environments can cause premature wrinkles and grey hair.”

 

Draco places a soft kiss on top of Harry’s head. Harry hums and closes his eyes.

 

“You don’t have to tell me, but if you hate your job so much, why do you still do it?” Draco asks.

 

Silence falls. Draco waits for Harry to figure it out in his head.

 

“I don’t know,” Harry whispers after a while. “Because it’s what everyone expects of me, I think. And what else should I do?”

 

“Something that makes you happy,” Draco answers without hesitation.

 

Harry lifts his head up from Draco’s shoulder. He bites his bottom lip and his right-hand moves to his left arm. Draco forces himself to look at Harry’s face, to not follow Harry’s hand with his eyes while he rubs over the biggest scar he has. Ginevra better hopes she never ends up in a place alone with Draco, not after he’s seen the full damage she did to Harry. It’s more than the physical scars on his body. Draco remembers Harry being bold, speaking his mind, back in school. Now he’s scared to say what he wants, what he thinks out loud.

 

“You mean that?” Harry asks.

 

Draco sits up a little straighter. “Yes, I do. I don’t care what it is you do for a living. Man, if it makes you happy you can be a stay at home dad. We’ve got plenty of money between the two of us to make it work. I just want you to be happy, Harry.”

 

A tear falls from Harry’s eye and Draco wipes it away with his finger. He leaves his hand on Harry’s cheek.

 

“Thank you,” Harry says. Draco hardly hears it, so soft is Harry’s voice.

 

And then Harry throws his arms around Draco’s neck and pulls him towards him. He utters an ‘I love you’ and then his lips push against Draco’s. Tears stream freely from his face and Draco can feel him smile against his lips. Harry breaks the kiss but his face stays close.

 

“I always wanted to write a book, about the war, what it was like for me.” Harry looks away from Draco’s eyes. Draco can’t help the smile that forms on his face. He’s got pictures, of Harry with his notebooks, a soft smile on his face, a pen between his lips, scribbling away from time to time.

 

“She always said it was stupid. That people didn’t need to know the truth, that they’re happier with the lies that Seeker spread with her books.”

 

Harry’s hand finds the scar on his left arm again. Draco reaches out and stops him. “She was wrong, you hear me. And who cares if people want to read it or not, if it helps you then you go and write that book.”

 

Harry looks down at Draco’s hand that holds his elbow. “I do that a lot, don’t I?” Harry asks.

 

Draco laughs. “Mostly when you’re nervous.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be, it’s fine. We all have or nervous ticks. I’m sure I have them too.”

 

“Yes, you have,” Harry laughs. “Turning your ring around your finger, over and over again.”

 

Draco looks down at his right hand, at the ring he got from his mother when he turned thirteen. Scorpius has a similar ring, ever since his thirteen birthday. The last present he ever received of his mother. Draco looks back at Harry and smiles at him.

 

“Astoria said that too, said it was cute.”

 

Harry leans forward and gives Draco another quick kiss. “She was a smart woman,” he says before he stands up and walks out of the room.

 

There’s a knock on the door. Harry shouts from somewhere down the stairs that Draco should get it, that he’s much better with getting rid of the neighbours.

 

Draco gets up and walks into the hallway. He opens the door and just stares. Three faces stare back at him. Hermione smiles and shakes her head.

 

“Aren’t you going to let us in?” she asks.

 

“Is he going to behave?” Draco points at Ron. “And apologise?”

 

The other Weasley pulls Ron into a sideways hug. “Oh, yes, this man is ready to apologise. It’s why we’re here.”

 

Draco steps aside and lets them in. He’s only just closed the door behind them when Harry walks into the hallway.

 

“Charlie? Ron? What are you doing here?” Harry asks.

 

“Well, when my little brother wrote me a letter asking what to say to your best friend when you kind of screwed up at being that best friend when that best friend finally admitted he is gay,” Charlie says. Ron whispers bi-sexual, but Charlie pays him no mind and just continues. “I had no choice but to come and see this for myself.” Charlie pulls Harry into a tight hug. “Welcome to the club.”

 

Draco can see that Harry is fighting tears. The words of Charlie sinking in. He releases himself from Charlie’s hug and flings himself at Ron.

 

“I didn’t mean it, Harry. Fuck, you know I didn’t mean it, do you?”

 

“I do now,” Harry cries. “And I’m sorry too, for not warning you beforehand.”

 

Hermione nods her head to the side and Draco nods back. Both of them, followed by Charlie walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. Harry and Ron are going to need some time. And Draco is more than happy to give them just that.

 


	5. Empty Rooms

Draco hates that he can’t be in the courtroom with Harry right now. Harry had looked so hunted this morning when Hermione came to pick him up. Draco kissed him goodbye and told him everything would be okay. He told him that just as much as to calm his own nerves as Harry’s. Draco has no idea what to do if Harry loses his children because of him. It will break them, maybe not right away, but one day Harry will start to resent him for being the cause that he lost the right to be a father of his own children, Draco is sure of that.

 

The phone in Draco’s hands beeps. It’s another message from the Weasel informing Draco that Harry is on the stand right now. Draco closes his eyes and hopes Harry knows that Draco’s heart and mind are with him even though he can’t be there in person. Harry had begged Draco to come along, but Draco had refused. The public and judges won’t understand, not with Harry keeping the main reason he left Ginevra out of all this. He can’t say it, can’t talk about what Ginevra did to him. And even if Harry could, he wouldn’t, knowing it might get Ginevra in trouble. Somehow he still cares about her. Or at least cares enough to make sure his children don’t have to go visit their mom in Azkaban.

 

Rhys Davis, Harry’s lawyer had agreed, just like Hermione. All of them thought that it was better for Draco to stay away from the Ministry’s court during this case. It won’t help Harry’s case when people see how close he’s with Draco. Hermione being the one to get Harry in the morning was the only reason why Draco didn’t come along anyway. Harry had cried, holding Draco close and told him he was terrified. Draco didn’t want to let Harry go by himself and it broke his heart to watch him take the floo to the Ministry without Draco.

 

‘They are drilling him about quitting his job’ the next text from Weasley says. Fuck, Draco knew it was a mistake the moment Harry told him had handed in his resignation. Why had Draco encouraged him to go do what would make him happy? Draco should have told him to wait till after the trial. Now it just looks like Harry’s having one big midlife crisis. Leaving his wife, coming out as gay and quitting his job. Next they will write that he’s spending all his money on expansive furniture and the latest professional brooms.

 

Draco gets up from his chair and starts to walk up and down the kitchen. Mila looks at him while she stocks the new kitchen cabinets with food, tableware and pots and pans. Draco is happy she and Toby agreed to move with Draco and Scorpius into Grimmauld Place. They have the attic floor to themselves, their own little home. It even pleased Hermione, which is saying something when the topic is house-elves. Mila brought some furniture from the Manor that she really loved with her. It’s more than Draco moved over. He didn’t want to keep anything. Only some personal stuff, like pictures, keepsakes that remind him of Astoria and his parents. Everything else wasn’t important. So he and Harry have been shopping furniture for weeks. The kitchen is one of the few rooms that is finished at the moment, but it’s fine. Harry and Draco managed to move into Grimmauld Place before the trail, and that is what matters. This way Harry at least doesn’t have to explain why he lives at a place best known for the years that Voldemort used it as his base of operations.

 

“Sir, do you want a cup of tea. It will calm the nerves,” Mila says.

 

Draco looks at her and nods. A cup of tea would be nice. Maybe it will stop him from feeling utterly useless.

 

“I should be there with him,” Draco uppers.

 

“You should, but you can’t. You know it will only make his changes worse than they already are.”

 

“I know,” Draco snaps at Mila. “Doesn’t make it any easier. He does better when I’m close. I’m scared he won’t find the strength to say what he needs to. If they side with Ginevra, fall for her sob story, he doesn’t stand a chance.”

 

“Master Draco, we all worry. It will break Master Harry’s heart if he loses. It will be a loss for all of us.”

 

Draco nods and sits back down when Mila places a cup of tea on the table for him. He takes a sip and lets out a deep breath. “Davis said he would do his best, even tho all the facts are against Harry. I should have told him. Nobody will fight Harry if they know what Ginevra did to him the last couple of years. Do you think I should have told Davis?”

 

Mila sits down on her own chair and puts a hand on Draco’s arm. “Master Harry doesn’t want anyone to know. He will hate you if you tell anyone. You remember your mother, she defended Master Malfoy’s actions till her grave.” Mila shakes her head and stares back to the boxes with new tableware. “She always thought it was her own fault whenever Master Malfoy would hurt her. Toby once tried to tell another witch. Misses Narcissa almost made him leave after that.”

 

“I remember,” Draco says. He was only six when it happened, but ever since then, Toby had to stay away from mother. She didn’t tolerate him near her, it was like he had betrayed her more than her own husband did on a daily basis. Draco lets out another deep breath and lays his arm around Mila’s shoulders. “I’m glad she didn’t make him leave, that you and he could stay together.”

 

“So am I, Master Draco, so am I.”

 

Mila takes a sip of her own tea and leans against Draco a little. “And I’m glad we can be here now to help you and Master Harry. You both deserve to be happy, together, with all your children.”

 

The phone beeps again. Mila picks it up from the table and reads the message. “Master Harry is done on the stand. It didn’t go well, Mister Weasley says.”

 

Draco rests his head on the table and tries not to think what it means that it didn’t go well. Davis said there won’t be any decisions made today by the judges, that they will take some time to investigate all the evidence that has been brought before them. Maybe a couple of days, but more likely a week or two with a case this high profile. They don’t want to make any mistakes. Draco doesn’t think he will be able to stay away on the day of the verdict. Not now the hearing hasn’t gone smoothly at all.

 

“I’ll make Master Harry’s favourite for supper, maybe he’ll eat some,” Mila mutters next to Draco. Draco can’t help but smile. It didn’t take Mila long to figure out that Harry skips meals when he’s nervous, so she always makes sure there is something on the table he loves when he’s having a bad day.

 

“Thank you, Mila,” Draco says when Mila gets up and finishes unpacking the boxes and starts on the preparations for supper. “For everything you do for me and Harry.”

 

“You are my boys, sir. I’ve known you since you were a little baby. And Master Harry is the person you love. I will make sure he’s okay for as long as you want me to.”

 

Draco smiles at Mila and thanks her again. Maybe it will work out, somehow, someway. Draco has no idea how, but he can’t lose the life he has now. Not now he’s finally happy.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry stares at his hands that rest on his knees. They‘re out of focus because of the moisture in his eyes. He’s aware that the judge still talks, that he keeps adding onto the already heartbreaking message he started with. No shared custody, no visitation rights, no contact allowed. How is Harry supposed to go on pretending he doesn’t have any kids. Doesn’t the judge understand that they are his world, his pride and joy? What does he have going for him without his kids? Harry’s head shakes, his hands tremble. He needs to get out of here, needs to wake up, or whatever to stop this nightmare.

 

When the tears start to fall Harry closes his eyes. The courtroom around them is filled with noises. He can hear Percy congratulate Ginny on the victory. Hears them get up and walk away. He tries not to think about it, what it means that she’s in full control. How even now that he left her she still can hurt him in ways that are more painful than any hex she had thrown at him when they were together.

 

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Davis says when he lays a hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry just nods his head. He wants to be angry, but he can’t. Everything feels like it’s too much. The only thing he knows for sure is that his heart was just ripped out of his chest and he has no idea how to get it back.

 

The table in front of Harry gets pulled away and only a second later two warm hands hold Harry’s face. Harry opens his eyes and looks at Draco who’s on his knees in front of him. His fingers wipe away the tears on Harry’s face before he kisses him softly. Harry rests his head on Draco’s shoulder and cries. It helps, having Draco hold him. Somehow it feels like maybe Harry can survive this.

 

“Harry, I don’t know what to say,” Hermione starts from somewhere behind him. Harry doesn’t comment. He can’t talk, he can’t even breath. He just wants to go home, crawl into bed and never see the light of day again.

 

“It’s not over, you hear me, Harry. We’re going to fight this,” Draco reassures him.

 

“Draco, there’s nothing left to do,” Hermione starts only to be shut up by Draco.

 

“Of course there bloody is. She can’t just waltz in here and steal our children from us,” Draco snaps at her. Harry warms a little because of Draco’s anger about their kids. Their kids, not just Harry’s, but theirs.

 

“They’re not yours, Draco,” Ron says.

 

“They became mine when Harry chooses to be with me, Weasley. And fuck it, I’ve seen more of them in the past year than your little shit of a sister has. She’s never around and now she just gets full custody and can strip Harry of all his fucking rights. It’s wrong Weasley, so fucking wrong I can’t even believe it’s real.”

 

“Draco,” Harry whispers. His hands clutch at Draco’s shirt when Draco moves to stand up. Draco stops and turns back to Harry.

 

“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere,” Draco says.

 

Harry holds him close. “Please don’t fight,” he begs. He can’t deal with his partner and best friend fighting right now.

 

“I’m sorry, I won’t. I’m just angry. I want to make this right, I’ll do anything to make this right for you,” Draco chokes out, one of his hands brush over Harry’s hair, while the other holds him close to him.

 

Harry just leans into him, finds the little comfort in the fact that he at least still has Draco. Maybe he can do this, live his life without his kids. Maybe he can find strength in Draco’s love for him when time passes. When the need to apparate to Hogwarts this instance to hold James, Albus and Lily close to him fades away. He’s not even allowed to write them, to tell them to be brave and not to worry. That it will all work out, that Ginny will take good care of them. She’s sure to make more time for them now, won’t she? She can’t just dump them at her parents every holiday so she can live her busy life as a Quidditch coach. Does she even know about Lily’s love for swings? Does she know that James loves to cook the muggle way when he’s home from school? Will she taste his recipes and be proud of him? Will she be kinder to Albus now he won’t have his father to stick up for him? Will she still allow him to see Scorpius?

 

“Harry, we need to leave,” Draco tells him. “It’s not going to be pretty, the press is right outside this door and will bother us all the way to the floo.”

 

Harry shakes his head. He can’t deal with that. “She doesn’t know that James always cooks when he’s home from school,” he mumbles. “She doesn’t know them at all. I can’t leave them with her, they can’t make them stay with her. What if she hurts them?”

 

Draco doesn’t answer. Harry looks up at him and sees an answer he doesn’t want to hear. “Did he hurt you?” he whispers. Draco nods his head at the same time Hermione says that Ginny would never hurt them. Only she doesn’t know what Ginny is capable of, does she? Harry never said a word, not even now when it really mattered. Harry will never forgive himself if Ginny will hurt them.

 

“Draco, I can’t, I need them,”

 

“I know, sweetheart, I know. We’ll take it one step at a time. We’ll figure out how to get them back, I promise. But first, we need to get home.”

 

Harry nods his head and lets Draco and Ron help him to his feet. Both of them stay by his side when they walk out of the courtroom. Charlie and Hermione are in front of them, pushing the press aside. Harry hears them scream questions at them and throw insults Draco’s way. He tries not to listen, just tries to focus on Draco’s voice next to him that tells him they’re almost there. It’s a relief when the flames whisk them away and the commotion is left behind.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco throws his glass with milk across the room. The glass smashes against the counter and breaks. Toby looks up from his breakfast and snaps his fingers. The spilt milk and broken glass pieces vanish.

 

“Don’t throw the coffee or your plate,” Toby comments before he brings another bite of toasted bread to his mouth. He continues reading the muggle newspaper Harry started reading once they moved in here. Not that Harry has read any of them the last few weeks. He hardly gets out of bed. Draco has tried to make him do something, tried to convince him that it will distract him from it all. Only to see the worried looks on Mila’s face when he would come home from work. She leaves him breakfast and lunch next to the bed, only to collect them in the evening, untouched. Draco doesn’t know what to do. He hates seeing Harry broken. And the letter from Scorp that just arrived will only make things worse.

 

The door to the kitchen opens. Toby and Draco both look up to see Harry shuffle into the room. He’s wearing a simple t-shirt and the pyjama joggers he’d gotten from James last Christmas. His hair is a mess, his eyes red and his mouth down-turned, but he’s out of bed. Draco pushes Scorpius letter under his plate before he gets up and gives Harry a soft peck on his cheek.

 

“You want me to make you some eggs?” Draco asks him. Harry nods and sits down next to Toby.

 

“Good to see you out of bed, sir. Mila will be pleased,” Toby tells him. “Do you want to read your paper? It’s very interesting.”

 

Harry shakes his head. He takes the cup of coffee Draco hands him and looks into the liquid. Draco places some bread in the toaster and cracks two eggs into the pan, just like Harry thought him. It’s strange to think that only a year ago Draco didn’t know how to cook at all. Always depending on Mila or Tori to fix him a meal. Harry said it was unacceptable, that it was time Draco learnt to cook for himself. So Harry took it on him to teach. And in the holidays, James would pull Draco with him into the kitchen to show him how to make his dad’s favourite dishes.

 

Draco tries not to think of the Easter holiday. Of how quiet the house was, with Harry stuck in his bed and Scorpius off with his aunt. Scorp had suggested it as soon as he heard about the verdict. He didn’t want to remind Harry so soon after what he was missing. Draco had agreed, told Scorp he was an amazing son and that he loved him. But with no kids and a depressed Harry Easter hadn’t been a celebration, it had been a mourning party. Even Mila hadn’t wanted to cook anything fancy.

 

When the eggs are finished, Draco puts them on a plate together with some toast and sets the plate in front of Harry. Harry gives him a brief smile and picks up his cutlery. Draco sits back down in front of his own plate and eats. He glances at Harry from time to time and is relieved to see that Harry is eating his breakfast. Slowly and with tears in his eyes. But it’s more than he’s done so far, so Draco is not complaining.

 

“Do you have work today?” Harry asks when Draco gets up to put his plate in the sink.

 

“Not really. No clients or anything. I wanted to go to that park I told you about. See if I can shoot some flowering trees.”

 

Harry nods. A tear falls from his eye and Draco wishes he could take some of the pain away. He’s argued with Granger and Davis for hours, unwilling to just give up and let Ginevra win, only to learn that there really is nothing left to do but hope that she will agree to some kind of visitation for Harry.

 

“I can stay home if you want,” Draco says. “We can just crawl up on the couch and watch one of those silly muggle movies you like.”

 

Harry shakes his head. “You don’t have to,” he says.

 

Draco walks up to Harry and sits down next to him. He pulls him against him. “If you need me to stay home today, I’m staying home.”

 

Harry thanks Draco while he slumbers into the hug. Draco looks up and sees that Scorpius letter is now in full view. Harry reaches for it and starts to read. Draco knows it’s useless to stop him. Knows he’ll find out anyway. Maybe it’s better if he can read Scorpius his angry words instead of hearing it from Draco. Harry starts to shake against him, hot tears stream down his face. Draco turns a little and puts his other arm around Harry as well, holds him close and tries to comfort him.

 

“I’m sorry,” Draco whispers against Harry’s head.

 

“He’s a Slytherin, she can’t just… she can’t…” Harry stutters.

 

Draco looks up and watches as Toby puts away the plates and silently leaves the room. He doesn’t know what to say, what to do. There was a reason why Draco’s milk ended up on the floor this morning. “I don’t know, Harry. I didn’t think McGonagall would allow something like this, but I guess I was wrong.”

 

“I need to go there, need to set this straight. Ginny can take it all out on me, but not the kids. I can’t have her hurt my kids, Draco.” Harry stands up and walks out of the room. Draco hurries to follow him. He catches up with him in the hallway.

 

“You can’t Harry, please don’t make this worse for Albus. You know he’s the only one that’s going to suffer if you storm into Hogwarts all hot and bothered,” Draco begs Harry.

 

Harry turns around, his face is red and his nostrils flare. “I can’t do nothing!” he screams. “He’s my son and she just pulled him away from his friends.”

 

“I’ll write to McGonagall, inform about the situations because I’m worried about Scorpius. That way Ginevra can’t use it against you in our fight to get our kids back. We’ll figure this out, make sure Albus is back in the Slytherin dungeon as soon as possible.”

 

Harry sits down on the stairs and Draco places himself next to him. “He won’t like being in the Gryffindor tower. Too bright and red, too noisy.”

 

Draco nods his head. “I don’t blame him. I would go crazy too if I had to spend all my time with Gryffindors.”

 

Harry lets out a weak laugh. “You don’t seem to mind that much these days,” he says.

 

“I make exceptions for special people that have stolen my heart. I can deal living with them for the rest of my life,” Draco answers. He means it, he will spend the rest of his life with Harry if Harry will let him. Draco can’t even imagine what his life would be like without Harry anymore.

 

Harry lets his head fall onto Draco’s shoulder. Draco places his arm around Harry. “Thank you for sticking with me. I know I’m no fun lately,” Harry says.

 

“I love you, Harry. I don’t care if you’re fun or not, I just want to be with you.”

 

“I love you too,” Harry answers.

 

They sit for some time on the stairs until Harry moves to get up. “Take me to bed and make me forget for a minute how screwed up my life is right now,” Harry uppers. Draco nods his head and follows Harry into their bedroom.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry sits at his desk and looks at the laptop screen in front of him. The cursor blinks and blinks. The page is empty. Harry has no idea were to start. He said he wanted to write a book about the war. About what it was really like for him. And Harry has all his notes and little snippets in his notebooks. But the words to put it all together just aren’t coming to him. Why did nobody ever tell him it was hard to write about a period in your life you rather forget? It doesn’t matter how much Draco encourages him, the words just aren’t coming.

 

The flames in the heart of the study turn green and Harry looks up in surprise. Draco is out having lunch with Michell about some upcoming photoshoots for a fashion magazine. He won’t be returning by floo. He likes to take the train and then walk the last bit home. Harry gets it, Draco hasn’t been partaking in the magical world for a long time. All his work is for muggles and he’s gotten used to doing things the Muggle way. 

 

Harry’s heart stops when he sees who steps through the floo. James smiles at Harry and Harry is up on his feet to hug his eldest son. James lets him, doesn’t complain when Harry pulls him against his chest and probably pushes all the air out of his longs. It’s been too long since Harry was able to hold him. When Harry pulls back he takes a good look at James. He looks taller then Harry remembers, more mature.

 

“Dad,” James starts, but Harry shakes his head and James stops talking.

 

“Give me one minute to just hold you before I have to yell at you for being here.”

 

James nods his head and gives Harry another hug. “I missed you during Easter. Mom dumped us at grandma and grandpa for most of the week.”

 

Harry blinks his eyes. He struggles not to cry. He knew Ginny would not take any time off to spend with the kids. Even now that she is their sole guardian she still neglects them. Nothing has changed, only the fact that Harry can’t do anything about it anymore.

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry says. “My lawyer said it was better to stick to the rules then end up in jail. That it wouldn’t help my appeal.” Not that it had been easy, staying put while every fibre in Harry’s body told him he should do something, anything to get in contact with his own kids.

 

James nods his head again and walks over to one of the lounge chairs in the study. He sits down and looks at his hands. “I know I’m not supposed to be here. And I’m sorry if I get you in trouble. But I need my dad right now and I don’t care what the judge said at the custody hearing. You’re still my dad.”

 

Harry sits down in the other lounge chair. His hands shake and he blinks tears away. To hear James say that he’s still his dad, no matter what lights up Harry’s mood. “It’s okay. But first tell me how you managed to floo here?”

 

James’ face goes red. “I might have sneaked into the headmistress office and flood here.”

 

Harry laughs and shakes his head. What else did he expect from someone with his and Ginny’s genes combined? Both of them were good at breaking school rules when needed. “And you didn’t get caught?”

 

“No, dad, I didn’t. I’m sure I’ll get detention once I try to go back, but fuck it.”

 

“Language,” Harry scolds and he has to hide the smile that threatens to escape him when he finds that even though he’s no longer James official guardian, nothing else has changed between them. Not even James inability to stop cursing all the time.

 

“Sorry, dad.”

 

“It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you. And Albus and Lily. Are they okay?” Harry is scared of the answer but he needs to know if they are comping with everything Harry put them through by leaving their mother.

 

“Lily is fine, just angry at mom. She wanted to go see you and Draco all the time during Easter. Albus is, dad, they made him stay in Gryffindor tower. He’s not allowed to come anywhere near Scorpius. He hates it. I’ve got him sleeping in my dorm now. You know how it goes between Gryffindors and Slytherins. The boys of his own year were teasing him all the time.”

 

Harry doesn’t try to stop the tears this time. It’s hard to hear that Albus is suffering because of what he did. He looks at the floor and shakes his head. “Tell him I’m sorry, about it all. I would have never left your mom if I had known it would hurt you all like this.”

 

“Dad, don’t. Don’t blame yourself. Mom decided to make your divorce into a war, not you. I know you were willing to give her everything she wanted. I don’t blame you. And neither do Lily and Albus. They just miss you. We all do. Being home just isn’t the same without you there.”

 

Harry tries to smile at James. He knows James means well, but just because Ginny made it into a fight doesn’t mean none of it is Harry’s fault. He was the one that left her, that traded her in for someone else. “Don’t be angry at your mom, she’s just doing what she thinks is best.”

 

“Well, she’s wrong and I wish she could see how much she’s hurting Albus. And Lily, Scorpius, me and even you,” James yells. “She only thinks about herself, always has and always will.” James looks towards the window when he’s done and refuses to look back at Harry when he mentions his name.

 

“James, I know you don’t like it. But the court decided it was better if you all stay with Ginny. I’m just not in a good place to look after all of you.”

 

“Fine, I’ll stay with mom next summer. Just don’t get upset when she hurts me as she hurt you,” James says in a small voice. “Because once she finds out why I’m here now, why I sneaked into the headmistress office so I could talk to you, she won’t like me anymore either.”

 

James rests his head in his hands and talks towards the floor. “Fuck, this is not how I wanted this conversation to go. I don’t want to fight with you right now, dad. Because, well…” James looks up and Harry can see the moisture in his eyes and the small tremble of his lips before he continues. “Dad, I’m gay and it scares the hell out of me.”

 

Harry gets up and pulls James out of the chair and into another hug. “You don’t have to be scared,” Harry tells James. “You’re still the same James I’ve loved since the day you were born. I really don’t care if you’re gay, bi, straight or whatever else there is these days.”

 

“I know, dad. You’re in love with Draco. I didn’t think you would care if I was,” James says while he sits back down. Harry walks back to his own chair. James nervously wraps his hands together and then continues to explain. “It’s just. People at school, most of them come from wizarding homes. And you know how mom’s family is. And mom. I don’t think she’s going to be okay with me. Dad, I don’t know if I can tell her.”

 

“Oh, James. Your mom will still love you. She’s your mom. She won’t care.” She shouldn’t anyway. Harry really hopes he’s right, that Ginny won’t care about this, but he’s not sure.

 

“But you don’t hear how she talks about you, and about uncle Charlie. I’ve tried so hard for so long not to feel this way. I didn’t want to disappoint her. She always says how perfect I am. In Gryffindor, good grates, part of the Quidditch team. I don’t want her to think any less of me.”

 

James is in tears and Harry searches for words. James isn’t wrong. Ginny has never said anything good about Charlie, not since he told his family he was never marrying a girl because he only liked boys. And Harry can only imagine what awful things Ginny has said about Harry since he left.

 

“And then I saw you with Draco last Christmas. And just knew there was nothing wrong with how I felt. That love was the same as for straight people. And dad, I loved seeing how happy Draco made you. I loved seeing a smile on your face that wasn’t forced there for us, but was there because you were really happy. And I want that too one day, to fall in love and be happy. And the only way I will have that if I stop pretending I’m not gay, because I am.”

 

Harry grins at James and he knows his eyes most gleam. It’s good to hear that Harry’s choice to do this one thing just for him showed his son it was okay, that he is allowed to be the person he is.

 

“James, I’ve wondered since last summer,” Harry tells him. “ And I’m happy you came here to tell me. And I promise you, your mom will be okay. She might not like it, but she won’t hate you. I broke her heart when I left, that’s why she hates me, not because I decided to move in with Draco.”

 

“You promise,” James whispers. Harry gets up again and kneels down in front of James. He takes his hands in his and looks him straight in the eyes.

 

“Yes, I do. You hear me. Your mom loves you. And you’re still a Gryffindor, still almost top of your class and still part of the Quidditch team. Nothing of that changes just because you decided to show us this part of you. And your mom will see that and still think you’re perfect.” Because you are, Harry finishes in his head.

 

“I love you, dad,” James says while he lets himself fall into Harry’s arms. Harry holds him close and whispers in James' ears that he loves him too. For some time they just sit like that on the floor, their arms around each other and James head resting on Harry’s shoulder, until James moves to stand and Harry lets him go. They sit down again and James looks more relaxed then he’d been all afternoon.

 

“Can I write to you? I know the judge said no contact at all, but I need you with this,” James says. “I’m scared some of my friends won’t want to hang out with me anymore once I tell them.”

 

“Write to your uncle Ron, he’ll make sure I’ll get your letters,” Harry tells him. He can’t deny his son this. Not now that he’s ready to show the world who he really is. Harry has experienced first hand how the wizarding world through him aside because he’d fallen in love with a man. And now he would have to see how his own son has to experience the same treatment.

 

James nods and smiles at Harry. “So what have you been doing since you quit your job?” he asks. Harry shakes his head and starts to talk. It’s good, talking to James about how he was really sad for a while and that he’s now trying to write a book. James wants to know all about it and they talk for over an hour. James tells some more about how he kind of fancies one of his friends, but that he’s dating a girl so that it’s hopeless. They laugh and smile together and Harry hates that he has to send James back to school. He gives him a note for Minerva that it was an emergency and that she should go easy on James. Harry wonders if it would help, knowing how strict Minerva can be, but it’s the best he can do right now.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco picks up another box and places it on the counter. His new studio still needs a lot of work before he can open. Fiona and Janet were a little sad to see the sign on Draco’s studio in Cherhill saying he was moving to London. But it was impossible to keep it up. Muggles won’t get how he would be able to travel from London to Cherhill every day without losing half of his day. So Draco had packed up his camera’s, lamps and favourite pictures and found himself a nice little studio in London, only a couple of blocks from his new home.

 

The bell above the door rings when it opens. Without looking up from the box with paperwork Draco shouts that he’s not open yet.

 

“I’m not here to get my picture taken, Malfoy,” Charlie says.

 

Draco looks up and raises his eyebrows. “Harry isn’t here. He’s at home trying not to think about the fact that the summer holiday is starting next week and he has to stay home while I go and pick up Scorpius.”

 

Charlie walks to the wall covered with some of Draco’s best pictures. He looks at the one of the pregnant Janet and her wife Fiona. Draco remembers that day. How Harry had shown up at his studio, with his arm shaking and tears in his eyes. Begging Draco to be his friend because he didn’t have anywhere else to go. Draco still wishes he had taken a picture of how Harry had curled onto the sofa. It would have fitted into his collection of pictures of Harry Draco likes to take from time to time. From his scribbling in one of his notebooks. Of him decorating the Christmas tree with the children. Or the one of Harry asleep on the sofa in Grimmauld Place after they painted Scorpius and Albus their room.

 

“Ron said you were good. I didn’t really believe him at first, but these pictures are amazing,” Charlie says while he looks at a picture of a model in the woods.

 

“Thank you,” Draco answer.

 

“You only do muggle pictures?”

 

“Yes, the magic world doesn’t really like me. I would have no clients if I would take wizarding pictures. And this is more challenging. Everything needs to be perfect in that one second you take the picture.”

 

Charlie nods his head and turns towards the counter. “I’m sure Ron already gave you the speech, but I’ll like to double it. If you hurt Harry in any way I’ll make sure nobody ever finds your body. Don’t care that it will leave Scorpius without parents. Harry loves you and lost almost everything because of you, so you better be prepared to love him till the day he dies.”

 

“I will,” Draco says. And he means it. He can’t think of a life without Harry. Draco wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he had to go on without him. He wants to grow old with Harry, wake up every morning next to him until they’re two grey men that will only get out of bed because they want to visit their children and grandchildren.

 

“Yeah, I figured. I’ve seen how you look at him. And Hermione told me how you fought her and that lawyer when they said there was nothing left to fight about the court ruling. It shows how much you care about Harry. It must have been hard to stay away from most of that,” Charlie says as an afterthought.

 

“You have no idea,” Draco answers. He shakes his head while he thinks back to that day. “I think I drove Mila crazy on that day. She just kept unpacking boxes to calm my nerves, pretending it was just a normal day.”

 

“Oh, yes Mila and Toby, isn’t it? Hermione complains about them a lot.”

 

“Really, she knows they are free elves, right. I pay them for their work and they have their own rooms. And they wanted to move with me to Grimmauld Place, it’s their own choice. What more does she want?”

 

“Don’t ask me, she’s crazy when it comes to house-elves.”

 

Draco and Charlie both laugh. When would Hermione not complain about house-elves? Even after all these years she still hasn’t managed to convince the Wizengamot that all elves should be set free.

 

Charlie turns towards the album on the counter and opens it. He looks at the pictures of families until he reaches the one Draco took of Harry with his children and Scorpius at Christmas. Draco watches as Charlie stares at it. “Merlin balls, I’ve never seen him this happy,” Charlie whispers. He turns away from the counter and pushes his hand through his hair.

 

“He’ll never be that happy again if he can’t be a father to his own children,” Draco says. It’s what scares Draco the most, the fact that he might never see Harry smile like that again. That slowly, over the years to come, Harry will start to hate him from taking this from him. And there is nothing Draco can do to change it.

 

Charlie shakes his head and turns back to face Draco. “Yeah, I know. Ron and I have been trying to talk some sense into Ginny, but she’s just as stubborn as our mom. She even asked me last week when I would finally settle down with some nice girl. Like she doesn’t know I’ve been living with the same man for the past ten years.”

 

“Keep an eye on James for us this summer,” Draco says. He doesn’t know if James has told anyone else after his little visit to Harry, but it was clear he was going to tell his mom this summer. And if what Charlie says is true, James is going to need all the support he can get.

 

“So he finally told someone else, good for him,” Charlie says.

 

“You knew?” Draco asks. His eyebrows are raised and he can’t believe what Charlie is saying. The way Harry told what happened it sounded like Harry was the first person James ever told.

 

“Yeah, he wrote to me last summer,” Charlie says. He smiles at Draco and puts his hands in his pockets. “We’ve been exchanging letters ever since. He never said it in that many words, but he didn’t need to. If your little cousin starts asking how you knew you were gay and how I deal with the stupid questions of our family, it’s not that hard to figure out.”

 

“I wish the wizarding world had grown up with the muggle world in this case. But seeing how they took away all Harry’s rights just because he’s living with a man now, tells us how bigoted the wizarding world still is. At least nobody at the dragon camp cares. At least not enough to make an issue out of it.”

 

“It wasn’t just because I’m a man, you know that,” Draco tells Charlie. He looks at the counter. Draco can’t change what he did in the past no matter how much he would like to, but it didn’t help Harry in his fight against an unjust system.

 

“It’s stupid they can’t see you’re not that scared little boy you were during the war. It’s like they don’t remember you guys were still in school when all that shit went down. What were you supposed to do? Go against your own parents and the evilest wizard ever knowing he would kill everyone you love if you did? If it had been my parents, my family, I would have done everything I could to keep them alive, even if that meant doing things I didn’t really want to.”

 

It’s nice of Charlie to see it that way, but Draco can’t help but correct him. He made horrible choices back then, but they were his own choices. They might have been for the wrong reasons, but back then he believed in those reasons. “Maybe, I don’t know. I made a lot of wrong choices back then. If I had known back then what I know now, I might have done things differently. But back then, I thought I was right protecting the way of life I grew up in.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Charlie shakes it off. “I don’t care about that, just about who you are now.  And don’t worry about James. I’ll make sure nobody tells him there’s anything wrong with him. And I’m not giving up on convincing Ginny to give Harry visitation rights. Those kids need their dad. And it’s clear they don’t care he’s with you. And seeing this picture, I get why. I don’t think he ever smiled like that when he was with Ginny.”

 

Draco wants to tell Charlie how his little sister was no good for Harry. How Harry’s back is covert in scars she left there. It takes all his will power to keep quiet. For some reason, Draco thinks Charlie will believe him if he told him. He’s different from the other Weasley’s. Sees more than the others. Maybe it’s because he’s been on the outside of it all for so long, part of the family but not really welcome. Draco doesn’t know, he’s just glad Harry still at least has him and Ron. It’s less than he’d had before he fell in love with Draco, but maybe it’s enough for him to not start hating Draco for all the pain he’d cost him.

 

“Did you ever suspect that Harry wasn’t as straight as everyone made him out to be?” Draco asks. He needs to know. Until now it had only been Hermione who hadn’t been surprised by this.

 

Charlie laughs. “Yeah, figured that out during the Quidditch world cup. The way his eyes would follow a hot guy just like mine was indication enough that he didn’t only liked girls. And now, I think maybe I should have talked to him back then. I’ve he’d hidden this away for all this time. Even Ron never really believed him when he told him he was bi. The stupid fucker. I’m glad they worked things out.”

 

“Me too, for a moment I was afraid they would drop him as the rest of your family did.”

 

Charlie and Draco stare at each other for a moment until Charlie starts flipping through another album with pictures, this one filled with nature shots. “You should come to the dragon camp one day. Take some shots of the boys trying to tame some dragons.”

 

Draco nods. “Maybe, once things calm down over here. Right now my only concern is making sure Harry doesn’t do anything else reckless or stupid.”

 

“Well if you ask me, I think he did the smartest thing he could ever do by following his own heart for once,” Charlie says before he disappears through the door. Draco stares at the door for some time. Did Charlie really just said that Harry choosing him over Ginevra was the smartest thing Harry ever did?

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco follows Scorpius through the house and watches as his son lets his fingers slide over the bannister when he walks up the stairs.

 

“And the kitchen is downstairs? In the basement?” Scorpius asks.

 

“Yes, it is,” Draco answers.

 

“The study is really cool. Looks cosy. Albus would have loved it.”

 

Draco doesn’t answer. He doesn’t want to think about the sad look on Harry’s face this morning, or about the fact that three members of their little family are missing. Last summer they had spent so much time with the five of them, visiting museums and parks all over the UK. And now it is just Draco, Scorpius and Harry. Draco has no idea how they are going to survive the constant reminder that their family is incomplete now that Scorpius is here.

 

Scorpius opens every door on the first-floor landing. He looks into Draco’s and Harry’s room and shakes his head. “Did Harry had any say in the furniture or is this all you?” he asks.

 

“Mostly me. Harry picked the pictures for on the wall. And I just made sure everything else matched.”

 

“It’s nice,” Scorpius says while he opens the door to Lily’s room. The walls are painted yellow and match nicely with the dark wooden floor. A big purple rug lays on the floor. The rest of the room is still empty. Scorpius closes the door without saying a word. Draco knows he’s struggling as well. For one short holiday, he had two brothers and a little sister before they got ripped away again.

 

“I’m not allowed to talk to Albus,” Scorpius says when he looks into the room that was supposed to be his and Albus. “Rose helps, she passes notes back and forth for us.”

 

“She sounds like a nice girl,” Draco comments. He doesn’t miss how Scorpius’ cheeks redden a little before he turns towards the last door. He looks into James’ empty room and signs.

 

“I hate not having him around in the Slytherin dorm. He’s my best friend and I’m not allowed to talk to him because his mother thinks I’ll poison him or something. I hate sitting on the other side of the classroom and see how miserable he is. He said James is looking out for him and that he’s okay, but I know he’s not.”

 

“I’m sorry, Scorp. We never wanted this to affect your friendship. If I had known it would come to this I would have never told him.”

 

Scorpius turns around to face Draco. “Don’t say that, dad. You and Harry love each other. We both don’t blame you, or Harry. He’s the best thing that ever happened to you. And you know, it’s only a couple of years before we’re seventeen and Al’s mom won’t be able to stop us from hanging out together.”

 

Draco stares at Scorpius. He’s so much like his mother sometimes. It makes Draco want to smile and cry at the same time. Astoria would be so proud of their boy.

 

“You’re thinking of mom, aren’t you?’ Scorpius asks.

 

“Yes, you remind me of her from time to time.”

 

“I think she would have come to yell at the headmistress for agreeing with Albus’ mom, being all about how unfair and unreasonable it is to use children as ammunition in a divorce.”

 

Draco laughs when he pictures it. Scorp is right, Tori would have been outraged about it all. And the idea of her screaming at McGonagall until she would see sense. If she only was here now to help them all through this difficult time. Astoria always knew how to turn dire situations into something beautiful and filled with love.

 

“I and Albus wrote back and forth about what we want furniture wise. Starting with a bunk bed and something cosy to sit on,” Scorpius says. He walks back downstairs and opens his trunk. Draco tries not to look at the mess while Scorpius pulls out a large pile of parchment. “We’ve made some sketches,” he says while he hands the parchment to Draco.

 

Draco flips through the papers. There are notes and little side remarks. Sketches of furniture and possible layouts of their room. “Albus is fine with you going furniture shopping without him?”

 

“Yes, he said it was stupid if I had to stay in an empty room all summer. We know what we like and what we don’t like. And as soon as all this mess is sorted out and he doesn’t like it, we can always change it, can’t we?”

 

“Yes, you can,” Draco answers. He hugs Scorpius and turns them towards the stairs. Together they walk into the kitchen were Harry and Toby are having a cup of tea. Mila is preparing dinner. She looks up and smiles at Scorpius.

 

“Welcome home, Scorpius,” Mila says. She puts down her knife and walks over to hug him. He bends down and whispers something in her ear. Mila laughs. “Don’t be ridicules, Scorpius,” she says before she turns back to the stove. Draco looks at Harry who stares at Scorpius with teary eyes. Draco steps up to him and places a hand on his shoulder. Harry rests his head against Draco’s arm. Scorpius sits down next to Toby and hugs the elf before he turns to Harry. He places a big pile of parchment on the table. Harry looks at it in disbelieve.

 

“Letters from Albus, James and Lily for you. They wanted me to tell you that they miss you and that they love you. And I promised them I’ll make sure you’d enjoy your summer and that we would have fun. So I get that you are sad, but I’d like to go back to school in September with the news that I didn’t break my promise.”

 

Draco smiles at Scorpius who keeps his eyes on Harry. Harry reaches for the letters and picks them up like they are made out of some precious diamond. Draco watches him skim over the words of his children. Watches as the tears come. Draco sits down on the chair next to Harry and pulls him against him. He holds him while Harry cries. Scorpius ignores them and starts to tell Toby about his exams and the grades he got. Toby tells him to study harder, that Scorpius should take his school more serious. That not everyone is as blessed as him to go to a good school.

 

Harry’s tears have died down a little when Mila serves dinner. They eat while Scorpius tells about his last couple of weeks at school and how he and Albus made sure they could stay in contact. He talks about Rose, how she helps and how he spends a lot of time with her studying in the library. Mila tells about the new cookbooks she ordered that she wants to try out during the summer and Toby talks about the books he’s been reading. Draco tells them all about his latest shoots and his new little studio. And all the while Harry is quiet and withdrawn. He hardly eats any food and he leaves for bed as soon as dinner is over.

 

“I’m making it worse for him, aren’t I? Scorpius asks.

 

“He just misses his own children, Scorpius, but I’m sure he’s happy you are here,” Mila says.

 

“But he didn’t say a word, he hates me for being here.” Tears fall from Scorpius eyes and Draco struggles to hold back his own. It had been a nightmare to see Harry struggle every day with the hole inside his heart, but to see Scorpius break down because of it all is even worse. Draco stretches his arm over the table and Scorpius takes his hand. Teary eyes look at Draco. “I don’t want him to hate me, dad,” he whispers.

 

“He doesn’t hate you, Scorp. He’s hurt and sad. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, because he does. He loves you like you’re one of his own. Just give him some time,” Draco tells Scorpius.

 

Scorpius nods and Draco squeezes his hand.

 

“You tell him I’m sorry it’s just me here,” Scorpius says.

 

“I will,” Draco agrees.

 

“Okay, then now go to him and hold him. He needs you more right now than I do.”

 

“Scorpius, I,” Draco starts. It’s clear Scorpius is still upset and there is no way Draco is going to leave his son like this, no matter how much Harry needs him right now. Only Scorpius is just as stubborn as his mother and shakes his head.

 

“Dad, go up there. I know you want to. It’s okay. I think I want to go to bed early anyway. It’s been a long day.”

 

Draco nods and stands up. “I’m glad you’re home, Scorp.”

 

“So am I, dad.”

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry is across the room in seconds when James steps into the kitchen. He gently pulls the boy into a hug. The tears on James reddened cheek say it all. He doesn’t need to tell Harry what happened.

 

“Don’t make me go back there, dad,” James says in between sobs. Harry wants to say he won’t, but he knows he can’t. He has no say in where James lives anymore. Has no rights to do anything about the heartbreak Ginny gives James. 

 

“I’m scared, dad. She hit me. I told her and she just hit me in the face. What if she,” James sobs, “What if she’s going to hurt me like she used to hurt you?”

 

Harry pulls James closer, holds him tight. “She won’t, I promise you, she won’t.” There is no way Ginny would do that, won’t there? James is her son, not a broken man that needs to be reminded of what is expected of him.

 

James pushes Harry away. His arms tremble and more tears fall from his eyes. “You also promised she would be okay with me, that she would still love me!” he yells. 

 

“I’m sorry, James,” Harry says. Tears fall from his eyes and he holds his hands out towards his son. “I’m so sorry.”

 

James steps backwards when Harry moves closer to him. It breaks Harry's heart to see his oldest son move away from him.  He’s done what he’s always been afraid of, he broke his kids’ hearts and now they hate him. He’s a horrible father, not worth their love and affection. Ginny always told him and she was right, the only thing he’s good in is hurting the once he loves.

 

At that moment the door opens again and Albus and Lily walk into the room. 

 

“If he’s staying here, so are we,” Albus says. 

 

“Nobody is staying here,” Harry answers. His voice sounds hollow. He wants to be a dad to his kids, wants to take care of them like always did. But he won’t be any good to them, will just mess them up more then he already has.

 

“I thought you loved us,” Albus screams at the moment Draco walks into the kitchen. 

 

“What’s going on?” he asks. His eyes lock with Harry who shakes his head. He can’t do this, can’t send his kids back if they don’t want to. But he also can’t take care of them, he doesn’t deserve to take care of them, no matter how much he loves them.

 

“I love you all more than anything,” Harry sobs. “ And if it would be better for you, you could all stay here for as long as you want. But it’s not, I’m not fit to take care of you.” Harry has to hold himself up by grabbing onto a chair. He hates how his kids look at him like he wronged them. Like it was his choice to not be part of their lives anymore.

 

Lily is the one that moves towards Harry and hugs him. “Daddy, don’t say that. You are the best dad in the world. James and Albus are just upset. Mom was really angry at James and started shouting at Albus when James ran out of the room. We know you love us, and we love you too.”

 

Harry places his arms around Lily and holds her close. “I’ve missed you all so much,” he brings out. “And if it was up to me, I’ll give up everything,” Harry starts but he can’t finish his sentence. James and Albus embrace him and Lily. Harry wonders when his sons have grown, when it was that they both became taller than him.

 

“I’ll make some tea and then all of you can talk while having a cup. But after that you all need to go back home,” Draco says. “Scorpius is not going to like it that you all came by when he was at his aunt in Paris,” he mumbles when he walks towards the stove. Harry and the kids all sit down around the kitchen table and Harry starts to ask them all about their school year and what they’ve been doing during the summer holiday. Lily talks away about her favourite subjects and about the new swings at the playground close to home. James and Albus take a little longer before they open up and start to tell Harry all about their adventures. Draco sits down next to Harry and places his arm around his waist. For a small moment, everything looks like it used to be and Harry finds himself smile at the silly stories his kids tell him.

 

Only the moment doesn’t last. Just when James opens up about this boy he met when visiting a friend the door to the kitchen slams open to reveal an outraged Ginny.

 

“All three of you, back home right now!” she shouts. “And you two, be happy I didn’t call the Aurors on you.”

 

Harry freezes, his muscles tighten up and the smile on his face disappears. Draco’s arm around his waist pulls him closer towards him. James jumps out of his chair and turns towards Ginny.

 

“They already told us we had to go home, bitch,” James spits at Ginny.

 

Lily her mouth drops open and she stares with big eyes at James. Harry wants to tell James to not talk to his mother like that, but his body is locked. He can’t move, he can’t think. Ginny her wand is in her hand and Harry can’t keep his eyes off it. He waits for her to raise it, waits for the blows that will hit him. He can’t think of anything else. In the distance he hears Draco tell James that he should mind his languages and apologise to his mother. He hears how James screams at Draco that he won’t, not as long as she behaves like a bitch instead of like his mom. But he can’t react to it. He just looks at Ginny and the angry look on her face, he watches as Ginny walks towards James and grabs him by the arm.

 

“You’re coming home with me and then I’ll teach you not to speak to your own mother like that,” she tells James in the same tone she used to use before she would raise her wand at Harry. It’s enough to make something snap inside him.

 

“You’ll not hurt him!” Harry shouts while he jumps up from his chair. “I don’t care what you do to me, but you are not hurting him.”

 

All eyes look at him in surprise, but Harry only has eyes for Ginny. He watches as she goes from surprise to the anger he’s used to.

 

“If I hurt him, it’s your fault. You made him think it was normal to go fuck another man,” she shouts at him. Her eyes are cold and hard and Harry can’t remember why he ever loved her.

 

“Fuck you, Ginny. If you had paid some more attention to your own kids you would have known that this isn’t because I’m with Draco. James has been gay his entire life. And there is nothing wrong with that!” Harry can hear James gabs and sees in the corner of his eye how Lily and Albus both take one of his hands in theirs. It takes the fight out of Harry, he just wants his kids to be safe and happy.

 

“Everything is wrong with it! And you know it, otherwise you would have left me years ago,” Ginny spits at Harry. Harry doesn’t understand how she can’t see how much they are hurting their kids right now.

 

“You know why it took me so long to leave you,” Harry says with a small voice. “ And fuck you for really doing it. The only reason I stayed with you all these years is because I love them and didn’t want to lose them.”

 

“Of course I did it. Have you seen the company you keep these days? You really think I want my kids in a house with that Death Eater.” Ginny points at Draco who hasn’t moved since Ginny walked into the room, his hand resting on Harry’s back, grounding him, reminding him that he’s safe and loved.

 

“Don’t call him that,” Lily shouts. Both Harry and Ginny turn towards her. “You two are stupid adults. So you don’t love each other anymore, we don’t care. We just want to spend time with both of you,” she shouts before she walks out of the room with tears in her eyes. Albus and James follow her. Before James leaves the room he looks at Harry and Ginny.

 

“Figure it out. Before we all hate both of you,” James says and then he’s gone.

 

“What did you put in their tea?” Ginny accuses Draco.

 

“He didn’t put anything in their tea, Ginny,” Harry says. “And stop blaming him for our problems.”

 

Ginny shakes her head. “I’m taking them home. Next time send them back right away or I will call the Aurors.” She makes a move to leave.

 

“I can’t stop them from coming here when they want to. When they need their dad to tell them that their mother still loves them. Not that they believe me,” Harry says.

 

“Of course I love them. Why do you think I don’t want them anywhere near you when you’re with him.” Ginny shakes her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if you get rid of that,” she points at Draco, “I’ll consider supervised visits for you with the kids.”

 

Ginny doesn’t wait for for a response and just walks out of the door. Harry falls back into his chair and hides his head in his hands. His body shakes and he has trouble breathing. A warm arm falls onto his shoulders and pulls him against Draco’s side. They both don’t talk. Harry can’t right now. His mind is spinning. Ginny gave him a straw, but is it worth the price she wants for it?

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco looks at the eggs on his plate. He hasn’t touched them. Harry’s plate is just as untouched as his. The letter from Ginevra’s lawyer lays like a heavyweight in between them. It’s in there, in black and white. They will open negotiations about supervised visits when Harry leaves Draco. And Draco knows where this is going to go. He hasn’t missed how Harry has slowly been withdrawing himself more and more in the last couple of days. He knows that Harry mend it when he told his children he would give up everything for them. At that moment Draco hadn’t wanted to think about what that would mean for them. But now he knows Harry is going to break his heart and there is nothing Draco can do to stop him.

 

And Draco wouldn’t love Harry as much as he does if Harry didn’t break his heart because of this. One of the amazing things about Harry is his love for his own children. He can’t hate Harry for putting them before him. If Draco would have to choose between Harry and Scorpius he would choose Scorpius without any doubt. His happiness comes before anyone else. And Draco knows its the same for Harry. Harry will give up his own happiness if it means he can be a father to his children again. If he can make sure that they are happy.

 

So they sit together at the kitchen table, staring at their food. They don’t eat and they don’t talk. They both know what is going to happen now and they both don’t want it to be real just yet.

 

Scorpius and Mila enter the kitchen. Scorp laughs and sits down next to Harry while Mila walks to the fridge and takes out the eggs.

 

“Wow, who died?” Scorpius jokes. Draco looks up at him and shakes his head. He doesn’t want this to end, not yet. He just needs a couple of more seconds of pretending his world isn’t about to shatter into a million pieces.

 

“Dad? What’s wrong?” Scorpius asks. A tear falls from Draco’s eye. He tries to blink them away but he’s unsuccessful. “You’re scaring me, dad. Please don’t tell me someone really died.”

 

“Nobody died,” Harry answers without looking away from Draco, his eyes just as moist as his. “I don’t have a choice, Draco.”

 

Draco looks at Harry and sees the pain written on his face. “I know,” he tells Harry.

 

Mila has stopped her cooking and has walked over to the table. She picks up the letter and skims over the words. The room is silent. Scorp is biting his nail, Harry looks at his hands and Draco just stares at them both. Mila places the letter back on the table and shakes her head.

 

“This is wrong,” she says before she sits down.

 

“Daddy?” Scorpius asks again. He looks so young in this moment. Draco hates how this will affect him. How his son has to lose another parent because of this.

 

Harry gets up from his seat and walks around the table. He takes Draco’s face in his hands and kisses him. Draco tries to enjoy it, tries not to think about the fact that this is their goodbye kiss. He doesn’t try to think that he had less than a year with the most amazing man in the world. His hands find Harry’s head, they slide into his long hairs one last time. Tears stream down Draco’s face and his hands shake when Harry ends the kiss and rest his forehead against Draco’s.

 

“I love you. Please don’t ever forget that,” Harry says. “But I need to do what she asks. I have to, Draco. It breaks my heart, it really does. I don’t want you to go. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I really do. But they are my kids.”

 

Draco can’t let Harry finish. He knows what he’s going to say. “I love you too. And I would have spent the rest of my life with you if we could.”

 

“I can’t do this,” Harry says. “I can’t say goodbye to you.”

 

“You have to. I hate it too. But you have to. For James, Albus and Lily. They are more important than me. I know that. And it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.”

 

Harry moves away from Draco. He says one more time that he can’t and then walks out of the room. Draco closes his eyes and lets the tears fall. Scorpius is next to him in seconds, his hands drape around Draco’s shaking body.

 

“Mila, what is in that letter?” Scorpius asks.

 

“Miss Potter-Weasley will give Master Harry visitations with his children on the condition that he breaks his contact with your father,” Mila answers.

 

Scorpius hands around Draco tighten. “We have to move out?” he asks. His voice trembles.

 

“I’m afraid we’ll have to,” Mila answers him.

 

“I’m sorry, Scorp,” Draco says. “We’ve ruined your birthday. She ruined your birthday. She ruined everything.” Draco weeps. He gets why Harry had to leave the room. This hurts more than losing Astoria.

 

“Dad, oh daddy. I don’t care. I didn’t want to celebrate it anyway, not without Albus and the others.”

 

They sit like that for a while. Draco struggles to compose himself and do what he has to. He’s relieved when Mila says she and Toby will pack their stuff so they can leave. Draco has no idea were to go. The only place he has is the Manor. It will have to do for now. Draco will just have to forget how he shared that home with Harry, of how they spend their first night together in his bed. He’ll have to try to forget the sweet smiles and the lazy evenings they had.

 

When Draco’s tears have slowed down, Scorpius lets go of Draco. He sits down on the chair next to Draco and fumbles with his ring. One silly habit he got from his dad. Harry said it is what makes them both Malfoy’s. They had fun then, that Christmas holiday. Draco doesn’t want to think about the fact that it was the one and only Christmas they got to share together.

 

“We can see if we can stay at aunt Daphne for the rest of the holiday. When I was there last week it was really beautiful,” Scorpius suggests.

 

“Yes, that might be a good idea. We’ll write to her when we’re back at the Manor,” Draco says. It sounds like a good plan. At least Paris won’t hold any memories of Harry that can hunt Draco.

 

“Okay, can I go help Mila pack up our stuff, or do you want me to stay with you?”

 

“No, go ahead,” Draco says. He watches as Scorpius walks out of the kitchen. He looks at the unfinished breakfast plates, looks at the counter where Mila had stopped preparing Scorpius his breakfast. He looks at the counters he and Harry painted together. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on his breathing. He needs to get it together, for Scorp and for Harry.

 

Draco has no idea how much time has passed when Toby comes to inform him that all their belongs have been packed and sent to the Manor.

 

“We’ll be on our way to make sure the place is ready for you when you arrive,” Toby says. Draco nods his agreement. He’s afraid to talk, afraid he’ll break down again. When Toby leaves he gets up from his chair and slowly walks up the stairs. He finds Scorpius in the study. He’s packing the last of his schoolbooks into his backpack. His eyes are red from crying.

 

“I said goodbye to Harry. He was on your bed, just staring at the ceiling. I told him I’m not mad at him and that I will miss him.”

 

“That’s good, Scorp. I’m sorry you have to lose him too.”

 

Scorpius nods his head. “So am I. I really liked having him around.”

 

At that moment the floo activates. Ron steps into the study with a smile on his face. “Where’s Harry?” he asks. “You won’t believe what George told me. Ginny is going to let him see the kids. Isn’t that great.”

 

Draco shakes his head. “He didn’t tell you about the condition she put on those visits, did he?” Draco says.

 

Ron looks at Draco and his smile falls off his face. “What condition?” he asks. His hands wring together at his side.

 

“We have to leave,” Scorpius says.

 

“Merlin’s beard, tell me he’s kidding,” Ron says towards Draco.

 

“I wish he was,” Draco answers.

 

“I’m going to kill her,” Ron mutters.

 

Ron’s reaction eases Draco’s heart a little. At least Harry will have him and Hermione to help him move past this. “We were just about to leave. Harry is in the bedroom, please take care of him.”

 

Ron nods his head. “Of course, don’t worry about it. We won’t leave him alone. If I have to I’ll even move in here to make sure he’s okay.”

 

Draco steps closer to Ron so he can talk to him without Scorpius overhearing. “Whatever happens, don’t let him move back in with your sister.” Draco can’t help be afraid of how far Ginevra will take this, how much she will ask of Harry now that she’s figured out she can make him do whatever she wants because she holds the key to Harry seeing his own children.

 

Ron’s eyes widen and he opens and closes his mouth a couple of times. “What did she do to him, Draco?” he asks after a silent minute.

 

“Not my place to tell you, Ron. Maybe one day Harry will. The only thing you need to know is that he’s not safe if he goes back to her.”

 

“Sure, yeah, I’ll make sure he doesn’t,” Ron promises. Draco can see he’s shaken up, his brain in overdrive trying to understand what Draco is trying to tell him without really saying it. Harry might hate Draco for doing it, but he can’t leave without knowing someone is going to look after Harry.

 

Draco nods and holds his hand out to Scorpius. He takes it and together they walk into the flames. Draco turns around to see that Harry is in the doorway. Draco drops the powder and says the words that will spin him away from Grimmauld Place, away from Harry and away from the life he loved.


	6. Stipulations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of broke my own rule and wrote a scene from Ron's point-of-view. No matter how I tried to do it from Harry's POV, it just didn't work. And I think it's nice to see how Hermione and Ron are starting to put some pieces of the puzzle together.  
> And I'm sorry for the massive cliff-hanger I'm leaving you all with.

Ron is across the room in seconds when Harry falls to the ground. Harry lands on his hands and knees. Awful sobs come from his body that shakes all over. Ron pulls him into his arms and holds him. He has no idea what to say to Harry or how to help him, so he stays quiet and just holds Harry while he cries. Ron can’t believe Ginny, his cute little sister, is doing this to Harry. He gets that she’s angry and hurt. But she won the custody case, she has full control, and the one thing she does with it is hurt Harry. Ron doubts that her claims that she still loves Harry are true. If Hermione would leave him because she fell in love with someone else and was truly happy with this person Ron would never want to take that away from her. He would want her to be happy. Even if it mend that he couldn’t have her. So why can’t Ginny find it in her heart to forgive Harry? And whatever happened between them anyway. Ron had never seen Malfoy’s eyes so full of hate as when he talked about Ginny. Ron wants to ask Harry, wants to know why Malfoy thinks Harry won’t be safe around Ginny. But now is not the time, not while Harry is a sobbing mess in his arms because he had to send the love of his life away.

 

After a long time, Harry’s tears seem to die down a little. He sits up a little straighter. Ron doesn’t let go of Harry, afraid if he takes any actions to move away from him, Harry will break down again.

 

“You want to stay here, or come to our place? I can have Hermione make us that amazing egg sandwich of hers,” Ron asks.

 

“Leave, I need to leave,” Harry chokes out.

 

“Okay, let's leave. Do you want to bring anything with you, or do you want me to come back later to get you some clothes and stuff?”

 

Harry makes a move to stand up, only to swagger on his feet. Ron helps him to keep his balance. Harry steps towards the heart without another word. Leave straight away it is then. Ron will come back later to grab some of Harry’s clothes and his stupid notebooks. Together they stop in front of the fire and another tear falls from Harry’s eyes.

 

“Let’s go,” Ron says before Harry can start to cry again. He grabs some floo powder and throws it into the flames. He helps Harry into the floo and together they travel to Ron’s house. Hermione and the kids aren’t home, they’re visiting Hermione’s parents. Ron is glad Harry doesn’t have to answer any of Rose’s questions. She’s been complaining all summer about how unfair it is that Albus and Scorp aren’t allowed to be friends anymore. It’s strange how her opinion of the young Malfoy has changed in the last couple of months.

 

Harry walks straight to the guest room and lays down on the bed. Ron sits down on the edge. “You want to talk about it?”

 

“No, I just…” Harry closes his eyes. His hand reaches up to his arm and follows an invisible line. Hermione speculated that there must be some kind of scar on his upper arm or something. A mark that comforts Harry in some way, because he always touches it when he’s nervous or troubled. Ron wonders if she’s right and how Harry has gotten the scar if it’s true. Neither Harry or Ginny ever told them he got hurt so bad on the job for it to scar.

 

“Whatever you want, mate. Really I can sit here all day and do nothing. We can talk, we can drink. Just tell me what you need.”

 

Harry nods and opens his eyes. “I’d just like to be alone for a while if that’s okay?”

 

“Sure.” Ron stands up and walks towards the door. “I’ll be around if you need me.”

 

Ron closes the door behind him. As soon as the door is closed soft cries escape the room. Ron closes his eyes for a minute and forces himself to walk away, down the stairs and into the kitchen. He takes out his phone and calls Hermione.

 

“He sweetheart,” Hermione answers after the second ring. “Is it quiet at the shop?”

 

“No, I’m at home,” Ron says in a monotone voice. “George said that Ginny offered Harry visitations and I wanted to see if he heard.”

 

“That’s great. Harry most be so excited.” Hermione sounds so delighted. She must be having a good time with her parents. Ron hates that he’s going to ruin her day off.

 

“Hermione, shit. It’s bad. She made him split up with Malfoy.”

 

Hermione doesn’t say anything. Ron looks at his phone to make sure he didn’t lose the connection. He shakes his head. “I want to punch something Mione. How can she do this to him? He’s, fuck. I was there when Malfoy left. He just collapsed to the floor and cried. And Malfoy, he looked so broken. Even after the war, during his trial, he didn’t look this bad.”

 

“I’m coming home,” Hermione says. She hangs up and seconds later she walks into the house. “Where is he?”

 

“Guest room,” Ron says. Hermione walks towards the stairs, but Ron grabs her arm to stop her. “He wants to be alone, Hermione. Just give him some time.”

 

Hermione looks Ron in the eyes. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing, Ron. He’s our best friend.” Her eyes water and Ron pulls her close. He needs to hold her, calm down himself so he doesn’t race off to kill his own sister.

 

“Malfoy said something before he left. I don’t know what to think of it,” Ron says.

 

Hermione steps out of the hug and sits down. “What did he say?” she asks.

 

Ron sits down next to her. “That we shouldn’t let Harry move back in with Ginny, no matter what. He said Harry won’t be safe if he goes back to her.”

 

“Did he tell you why?”

 

Ron shakes his head. “No, he didn’t say. Something about it not being his story to tell. But Merlin’s beard, Mione, the look in his eyes when he said it. I’m scared to find out what really happened between Ginny and Harry before Harry left her.”

 

Hermione takes his hand in hers. “You think she hurt him?”

 

“I don’t know. I really don’t. She’s Ginny. I can’t image her physically hurting Harry. And Harry is stronger than her, isn’t he? Both physically as magically. But something must have happened, something bad. Why else would Malfoy want to make sure he never goes back to her?”

 

Silence stretches between them. Ron looks at Hermione and can’t stop the small smile that forms on his face. “Your brain is in overdrive,” he comments.

 

Hermione laughs. “Yes, it is. There are things that start to make more sense. Small things I’ve never paid much attention too. But if Draco is really that worried. I just don’t know why Harry never said anything?”

 

“Let me know when you’ve figured it out,” Ron tells her. Hermione nods and then she shakes her head.

 

“Do you think Ginny is really going to let Harry see the kids now?” she asks.

 

“She better,” Ron answers. “She made Harry break up with Malfoy so he can see them. If she keeps them from him now, I swear I’ll never talk to her again.”

 

“You should start calling him Draco,” Hermione says.

 

“Maybe. Doesn’t really matter now, does it? He’s gone.”

 

Hermione stands up and moves towards the counter. “I’ll make us some sandwiches for lunch. And then we can call Davis and see what he has to say about it all.”

 

Ron’s eyes follow Hermione with a smile. Seeing Harry break down this morning made him realise how lucky he is to have Hermione in his life. With her by his side, he knows they will be able to help Harry get through this rough patch in his life. And maybe even find a way to bring him back to Draco. Because if there is one thing Ron knows for certain, it’s that Harry loves that man more than he’d ever loved anyone in his life.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

They’ve been in line for the Louvre for hours. Tourists are everywhere. Draco has counted the different languages he’d heard, by now he’s at 6, but it might even be more. He’s never that good in hearing the difference between all those Scandinavian languages. Draco knew it was a bad idea to try to visit the Louvre during summer break, but Scorpius had wanted to go. As a late birthday field trip or something. He was so excited and Daphne was all up for it, said she hadn’t been in ages. So now they stand in line, waiting and waiting. There’s no way they going to see most of the art today, it’s already past midday and they still haven’t made it inside.

 

“Are you okay?” Daphne asks when Scorpius is absorbed by something on his phone. “I know you talked about coming here with Harry.”

 

Draco shakes his head. Did she really have to bring him up? “I’m dealing with it. Today is for Scorp. I’ll cry myself to sleep again tonight.” To memories of a conversation about taking all the kids with them to France during the summer holiday, to see Paris and visit Disney Land. Harry had been excited and Draco had named all his favourite places they could go to.

 

Daphne nods. “You’ve changed since Tori died.”

 

Draco looks at Daphne. Her eyes are fixed on Scorpius. “I’m sorry,” Draco says. Sorry for killing Astoria by having a child with her, sorry for never truly loving her in the first place, and sorry for taking up space in Daphne’s house because he’s terrified about staying in Britain.

 

“Don’t be. It’s a good chance. Being out has done you good,” Daphne answers. “You’ve become more open. I finally see what Tori saw in you. The kindness and love you have to give, it’s good to see that you’re not afraid anymore to show it to the world.”

 

Daphne smiles at him and Draco smiles back. It does him good to hear that Daphne sees that he’s trying to do what Tori told him. Draco knows for sure she would be proud of everything Draco accomplished in the last two years.

 

“ And Harry, he was good for you,” Daphne continues, “made you less uptight. I’m sorry it had to end this way.”

 

“So am I,” Draco says. He doesn’t want to think about Harry now. He wants to keep it together. Scorp really wanted to see the Mona Lisa and if Draco falls apart right now, they will never make it inside.

 

“How’s your clothing line doing these days?” Draco asks Daphne to change the subject.

 

“Oh, you know. The usual. You should help out on the next shoot. You’re way better at taking pictures than most of the idiots that run around Paris with a camera.”

 

Draco laughs. “Maybe this year I’ll stick around and help you out some more.”

 

Daphne leans against Draco and tells him she will hold him to that. Draco places his arm around her shoulders. Scorpius looks up at them. “Dad, if it wasn’t so obvious you’re gay, people would think you two are dating.”

 

“Oh, it’s obvious now, isn’t it?” Draco says offended. Really, it’s not like he has a mark on his forehead that says he’s gay.

 

Scorpius and Daphne both laugh. “It kind of is Draco. I’m sorry, but that kid of yours is right,” Daphne chips in.

 

Draco pouts and lets go of Daphne, the traitor. “Fine, it’s obvious I’m gay. My apologies for finally just being me. I will go back to being a closeted frustrated man.”

 

“Please don’t. I like you better like this, dad,” Scorpius shouts straight away. Draco almost laughs to see Scorpius so freaked out. He shakes his head and pads Scorpius on the shoulder. There is no way he’d go back to hiding who he really is, not now he knows his little family likes him better like this. 

 

“You like me better as a depressed old man that fled the country when his relationship ended. Yeah, I like myself better like this too,” he tries to joke but it comes out bitter. Draco closes his eyes for a second and fights the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes. 

 

“Draco, you’re allowed to grieve,” Daphne says with a concerned voice. She places her arm around Draco’s waist and leans into his side. “You lost two people you loved dearly in less than two years. I think you’re comping amazingly well,” Daphne continues.

 

“So do I, dad,” Scorpius says. “You’re here, having fun with me, instead of hiding in your studio like you did just after mom died.  And you know. I think that somehow it will all work out. You and Harry love each other. Once the thing with Albus’ mom is settled he’ll be back in your arms in no time.”

 

Draco gives a small smile and then turns to look the other way. Scorpius is so sure that everything will work out and Draco doesn’t want to crush his hopes. But he knows better. As long as Lily isn’t off age, Harry and he won’t get back together. Ginevra will never stand for it. So Draco will just have to try to live his life without Harry. It should become easier over time, shouldn’t it? That’s what all the experts say at least. There is no point in hoping that Harry will still want him once Lily is off age. She’s turning 14 this fall, so it’s three and a half years until she turns 17. Three and a half years for Harry to find someone else that will love him with all their heart, someone that will get the approval of Ginevra. So it’s better for Draco to just give up on it now and try to move on. Astoria always believed there was happiness for him somewhere out in this world. Maybe he’ll find it in Paris. They call it the city of love for a reason, don’t they?

 

“Don’t give up just yet, Draco. If Scorpius can be positive, so can you,” Daphne whispers in his ear.

 

“Easier said than done. Ginevra holds all the cards and there is nothing I can do to change that.”

 

“Astoria believed in you, so start believing in yourself. Harry loves you and you love him. I’m sure you two will find a way back to each other someday.”

 

Draco nods. He’s happy when they finally reach the entrance of the Louvre and go in. Scorpius drags Draco to all his favourite paintings and tells him all about how his mother used to love to tell him about the painters and the lives they lived. It helps Draco to not think about Harry for a little bit. And maybe that’s the start of battling this broken heart. Just to think of him a little less each day while moving forward.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry slowly walks down the stairs. He’s in sweatpants and an old Gryffindor t-shirt. His hair is a mess and he hasn’t looked in a mirror in days. But he’s out of bed before Hermione forces him out, so that’s a step forward, isn’t it? Not that his heartache is any less than when he moved in with Ron and Hermione. No, Harry still wants to floo Draco and tell him he needs him back, just thinking of him stifles Harry. But he needs to think of his kids. Ginny said she would consider visitations. So maybe Harry will get to see his kids before they go back to school at the end of this week. And that is worth all the pain that cripples him these days.

 

Harry is halfway down the hallway towards the kitchen when he hears Rose scream. “I hate Aunt Ginny, she’s ruining everything!”

 

They stop Harry in his track towards the kitchen. His heart sinks to the bottom of his feet and his hands tremble.

 

“Rose, please calm down,” Ron begs his daughter on the other side of the wall.

 

“I won’t call down,” Rose screams. “He’s my friend, dad. I want him back at school with me.”

 

“I know you want that, sweaty. But it’s not up to us. We can’t force them to come back.” Ron’s voice is calm and patient. Harry leans against the wall. He doesn’t want to hear who isn’t coming back to Hogwarts. Would Ginny really pull Albus out of school so he can’t hang out with Scorpius anymore? Is she going to send his little boy to a different country all by himself? All because of Harry left them?

 

“We were going to study for our owls together. He promised me last year. And now it’s all ruined!” Rose shouts again. The door of the kitchen slams open and Rose runs passed Harry, up the stairs, back to her bedroom. Harry is stuck to the wall. Tears fall freely down his face. He should have never left Ginny. It brought everyone nothing but pain. Harry had been selfish and now everyone had to pay for it. Ron had been right that first night at Grimmauld Place, after Harry had left. He had been stupid and hadn’t thought about the consequences of his actions. He messed up. And if Harry could, he would take it all back. He would stay with Ginny so he wouldn’t hurt everyone he loves.

 

“Rose, baby,” Ron shouts when he walks out of the kitchen. His eyes fall onto Harry and he stops in his tracks. “Fuck, Harry, are you okay?”

 

Harry shakes his head. His palms are flattened against the wall and he closes his eyes. “Where is she sending him?” he asks.

 

Ron doesn’t answer straight away. His hands rest on Harry’s shoulder. “Who’s she and who’s him?” Ron asks.

 

“Ginny, she’s not letting Albus go back to Hogwarts, isn’t she?” Harry utters with trouble.

 

Ron shakes his head. “Oh fuck, Harry. No, it’s not Albus,” he says. “Ginny is sending them all to Hogwarts this year. It’s Scorpius that’s not coming back.”

 

Harry lets himself slide down the wall. He’d chased them away. He’d given Draco up and destroyed Draco’s and Scorpius’ life in doing so.

 

Ron sits down next to him and throws his arm around Harry’s shoulders. Harry rests his head against Ron and closes his eyes. He should have just stayed in bed today.

 

“How do you know?” Harry asks. He’s not sure he wants to know the answer, but he’s desperate for any news about how Draco is doing. Harry needs him to be okay, he can’t stand the thought that he broke the person he loves more than anything.

 

“Draco called, he wanted to make sure the kids knew, so they won’t be worried,” Ron tells Harry.

 

“You spoke to Draco?” Harry chokes out. “Is he okay?”

 

Ron’s arm around Harry squeezes him a bit. “I don’t know Harry. He said he was holding up, but I said the same about you when he asked, so that doesn’t really say much does it.”

 

Harry shakes his head. He wants to call Draco, hear his voice, have him tell him all will be okay somehow. He wants him to fight for them, for their love. But he knows that won’t happen, he knows Draco knows that Harry’s kids are more important than their love.

 

“Where is he?” Harry asks. 

 

“He’s staying in Paris. He said it was good to be away from everything. He’s going to help out Daphne this fall with her new collection, do the shoots and everything. That’s why they’re staying in France. Scorpius is going to go to Beauxbatons.”

 

Harry nods his head before he rests it on his knees. “I drove them from their home,” he says.

 

“Harry, don’t. This is not your fault. They just need to start over, away from all the crazy shit that’s going on here.”

 

Harry doesn’t respond. He can’t help but feel responsible for the move. He’s the reason why Draco can’t stay in Britain. He’s the reason why Scorpius has to go to a new school. He’s the reason why Rose is upset that one of her friends isn’t returning to Hogwarts this year. If it hadn’t been for him Albus would still have his best friend around the coming year. James wouldn’t feel alone and lost now that his mother hates him for being gay. And the entire family wouldn’t be at war with each other because of his selfish action. Ron and George fight half the time about Harry staying here. Percy doesn’t want to come to family lunch when Ron, Hermione or Charlie are there. And Harry didn’t miss Arthur’s visit last week where he begged Ron and Hermione to see things from Molly’s point of view. Everything is falling apart and it’s all his fault.

 

“This way Albus will be able to get back to Slytherin,” Ron continues. “Ginny didn’t want him there because of Scorpius. But with him gone, there is no way Minerva is going to keep up with the nonsense of having him in Gryffindor tower. The kid doesn’t belong there, we all know that.”

 

“But his best friend won’t be there,” Harry chokes out. “He’s going to hate me for pushing them away. They’re all going to hate me,” Harry breaks down. He struggles to breathe in between the sobs that escape him.

 

“Harry, they don’t hate you. They will never hate you, you hear me?” Ron says in a firm voice. “Your kids love you. They want nothing more than to see you and talk to you. Why do you think Ginny is even considering visitations. It’s her way to make sure she keeps any control over them, to stop them from running off to you all the time.”

 

Harry looks up and tries to find comfort in Ron’s words. “Do you think she will let me see them before they go to school. It’s been weeks and she still hasn’t.”

 

“I don’t know, Harry. Hermione and Davis are on top of it. Calling her lawyer every day. We’ll get you to see them before the turn starts. You’ve done what she asked, so she will have to.”

 

“You say that like she expected me to say no to her demands.”

 

“I think she was hoping you would. You left her for Draco. I think she thought you would not be willing to part with him.”

 

“I would do anything for my kids. She knows that,” Harry says. Did Ginny really think he would place Draco before them? Doesn’t she know Harry at all?

 

Ron shakes his head. “I think she needed to be reminded of that. And you have. And this will all work out. You’ll get to see your kids. And then you can talk about proper visitation rights and all. And before you know it, everything will be okay.”

 

Harry rests his head on Ron’s shoulder again. “You really believe that, don’t you?” he asks.

 

“I have to, Harry. I want to believe that my family can become a family again. I wouldn’t know what to do if we all break apart because of this.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry says.

 

“Don’t be. This is not all on you. Ginny is just as much to blame for the mess our family is in as you. You fell out of love with Ginny and in love with Draco. And maybe you should have broken off things with Ginny sooner, or do things differently. But in the end, you did nothing wrong. As soon as you realised you couldn’t stay away from Draco you did the right thing. And fuck, your marriage was already over long before you left Ginny. I just wish the others could see that.”

 

Putting it like that makes Harry feel a little bit better. It’s good to hear his best friend is on his side and wants the same as him. “Thanks,” Harry mumbles. 

 

They stay put for a while, just staring at the wall on the other side of the hallway. Harry follows a spider climb the cabinet that stands there.

 

“You’re going to be okay, buddy?” Ron asks after a while. “Because I still have an upset daughter I need to attend to.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Harry says. He doesn’t really believe it, but it’s the best he can do at the moment. His heart still aches and he still feels responsible for the entire mess his family is in. But he’s not sobbing anymore and that is enough for now. He and Ron both stand up and Ron turns towards the stairs.

 

“Why is Rose so upset?” Harry asks. “I didn’t even think she and Scorpius were that close.”

 

“Teenage hormones, Harry. I think she has a crush on the boy.” Ron shakes his head. “No clue why it has to be that rebel, but who am I to judge her. I was just as rebellious when I was that age.”

 

“But she can still write to him, can’t she?” Harry asks. He tries to understand why the world ended because of this.

 

“Just wait until Lily reaches this age. You will understand how every little thing is world-shattering for a teenage girl.”

 

Harry nods and hopes he will be around to see Lily get her first crush. He just needs to hang in there, forget his own heart and be brave for his kids. It’s all he can do right now. Harry watches as Ron takes the stairs two steps at a time. When Ron is out of sight he turns back to the kitchen and walks in. He takes out some bread and pushes it into the toaster. Maybe a little food will help him get through another day.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

It has been two months. And still Ginny hasn’t agreed to any visitation arrangements. First, she wanted to make sure it wasn’t a trick, wanted to see if Harry and Draco had really broken up. So Harry had made sure he didn’t have any contact with Draco. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done, not picking up his phone and calling Draco, just so he could hear his voice again. Harry never thought he could miss someone's voice, but he does. He wonders what it would sound like when Draco would speak French now that he lives in Paris.

 

And that had hurt too, knowing Harry was the reason why Draco had moved to France. Knowing that the man he loves was out of reach, trying to forget him. The only positive thing about that is that it is living proof that Harry and Draco aren’t together anymore. Not that it is enough for Ginny. No, her lawyer has drawn up a contract. A list of rules to which Harry will have to oblige. A contract Davis is reading at the moment, making notes on a piece of parchment and shaking his head from time to time.

 

Hermione had busied herself with making cups of tea while they waited for Davis to finish. The empty cups now stand abandoned on the table. Harry has already read the document. He’d already seen what Ginny is asking of him. He doesn’t really care, if that’s what he needs to do to be able to see his kids, he will. He will do anything for them. Hermione has read it too. She’s fuming inside, Harry can tell. Her eyes are on fire while she keeps herself busy with refreshments. Harry just waits for Davis to finish reading. The man knows Harry won’t disagree with any of the terms. It’s not like he has any other options, because not seeing his kids just isn’t one.

 

“I think it’s too much,” Davis says when he puts his quill down. He shakes his head and looks at Harry. “But I guess you’ve already decided to go along with it anyway.”

 

Harry nods his head. It’s then that Hermione speaks up.

 

“Harry, you can’t be serious,” she says. She sits down on the chair next to Harry and takes his hands in hers. “Davis is right, it’s too much. Let us talk to her again, see if she’s willing to go easy on you.”

 

Harry smiles at Hermione, it’s sweet that she thinks that Harry has a choice in any of this. “Hermione, this is my decision. And it’s fine, I don’t really care anyway.” Nothing seems to matter anymore these days. It’s clear that Harry will never be happy again, Ginny will make sure of that.

 

Hermione slams her hand on the table and gives Harry her ‘I will tell you that you’re an idiot’ stare. It used to make Harry crumble and agree with her, but now it just washes over him. “It’s your home, you can’t just give that up,” Hermione says.

 

“Why not?” Harry uppers. “It’s not like I want to live there anymore.” Tears threaten to fall from Harry’s eyes so he blinks them away.

 

“Don’t say that,” Hermione says in a gentle tone. “You’ve spent months fixing it up, made it into a proper home. The kids will love it.”

 

“And I hate it. It only reminds me of everything I’ve lost.”

 

Hermione places her hand on Harry’s arm. “Harry, Sirius left that house to you. Ginny has begged you to sell it for years and you never would, because it was all you’d had left of him. That hasn’t changed.”

 

“Don’t you see that everything has changed. Sirius is gone, has been gone for ages. He’s not coming back just because I keep the house. And neither is Draco. I’ve lost him, Hermione.”

 

“He still loves you, Harry,” Hermione says. Her hand strokes a loose bang of Harry’s hair behind his ear. “ And he would want you to live in the house you two poured all your love in.”

 

“Great, he gets to run off to Paris and I should be stuck in the house that will only remind him of the little time I had with him. Don’t you get it? He’s everywhere in that house, even now that he’s gone. Why do you think I’m still living in your guest bedroom. I can’t be there, it fucking hurts too much.” Just going back there to collect his personal belongings had been excruciating. Every room, every little piece of that house holds memories of Draco. Of his smile, his sweet words, his comforting hugs, his understanding and his love. The knowledge that Harry has lost that forever still breaks his heart.

 

Hermione shakes her head. “You’re going to regret selling it in the long run. Maybe we can convince Ginny to only make you state you won’t have the kids stay there. You can all stay here when it’s your time to see them.”

 

Harry gets up and walks to the kitchen counter. He restarts the kettle and looks out the window. The garden is filled with colours of orange, red and yellow. It looks like a scene that would have Draco out in the cold with his camera in his hand. A tear falls from Harry’s eye and he wipes it away before he turns back around to face Hermione and Davis.

 

“You and I both know that she’s never going to go for that. She’s making sure I know she’s in control. And she fucking is, Hermione. No matter what I say or do, it’s up to her if I get to see them. If it means selling Grimmauld Place, then fine. I’m sure some crazy Harry Potter worshipper would love to get their hands on it.”

 

“Mister Potter, I have to advise against going along with this. You’re right in saying that she’s in control. But giving in without a fight will just confirm that you will do whatever she says. She will not stop at this point, she will ask for more and more. Are you really willing to risk that.”

 

“I’m willing to risk everything I have. I’ve already given up the most important thing. Don’t you guys get that whatever she asks next doesn’t matter. I don’t care about the house, or about the fact that she’s forbidding me to ever publicly date any man on this planet. It’s not like I’ll ever be dating again. Or that I’ll ever have someone to share that house with. She already made me sent him away. You really think that if I was willing to do that, that selling that stupid house would be a deal-breaker?”

 

A tear travels over Hermione’s cheek. “Harry, I know it’s not a deal-breaker,” she says. “We all know you’d do anything for your kids. But Davis is right. If you give in straight away she will know she’s in control. She’s out to hurt you, Harry. And you’re making it easy for her.”

 

“I won’t fight her on this, Hermione. I can’t give her the change to change her mind. There’s only a month and a half left before Christmas break starts. I want this sorted before then. I need to see them, need to be able to hold them.”

 

Harry closes his eyes and swallows away the lump in his throat. He can’t think of what will happen if he can’t see them during Christmas break. It’s the only thing that gets him out of his bed these days. The prospect of seeing his kids again.

 

“Okay,” Davis says. “I’ll inform her lawyer that you agree.”

 

Harry opens his eyes and thanks Davis. Davis puts his quill and parchment into his bag and stands up, ready to leave.

 

“You can’t just agree with him. Tell him he needs to fight this,” Hermione starts. Only Davis holds up his hand and shakes his head.

 

“Miss Granger, you know just as well as I do that I can only advise Mister Potter. If he decides to go along with these petty rules for visitation rights, then I can’t stop him.”

 

“Fine,” Hermione says with forced restraint. She sneers before she continues. “Let me show you out.”

 

Harry watches as they leave the room. The kettle starts to boil and Harry focus on making another pot of tea. He knows the minute Hermione is back in the kitchen. She signs and Harry knows she’s about to go off with one of her lectures.

 

“Please don’t, Hermione. I know you don’t agree, but this is my choice,” he tells her.

 

“I know, but what she’s asking of you. You won’t be allowed to be yourself if you go along with this. Do you really think that’s an example you want to set for James.”

 

Harry signs. “No, it’s not. But what else am I supposed to do?” he asks Hermione with a desperate tone. “Tell her no? You know just as well as I that she will still win that way. It will just make it easier for her to deny me any visitations at all.”

 

Hermione sits down, her elbows rest on the table and her head falls into her hands. “I know Harry. It’s just, I really think you will regret agreeing to this down the line. What if you find someone else you like and it’s a man? Are you just going to deny your own happiness your entire life?”

 

“I won’t find anyone else, Hermione,” Harry says matter of fact. Hermione looks up. Harry hates the soft smile she gives Harry before she accepts the cup of tea he’d made for her. He hates the pity that reflects in her eyes.

 

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine. They need me more than I need him,” Harry says. He looks at how Hermione opens her mouth and then closes it again. “Don’t worry, Hermione, I’m used to it.”

 

Harry turns and walks out of the room. He can’t talk about this anymore and he knows Hermione won’t drop the subject if he stays in the same room as her. He might be used to it, to always put his own needs last, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. His heart is broken and chattered. It will never be whole again. And the only thing he can do about it is to focus on his kids and getting them back. Maybe that will make it this life a little easier to bear.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Are you okay?” Daphne asks when she walks into the room.

 

Draco shakes his head. His eyes are fixed on the wall in front of him. The house is bare of every personal item that was in it when he left it for the last time. Except this.

 

“He left the photographs,” Draco utters. The one on the right is the one Harry looking at the first time he came to Draco’s studio. Draco remembers the longing in his eyes. It’s just a forest path, a random picture Draco took one day during a walk in the woods around the Manor when Astoria couldn’t get out of bed anymore. When they knew it would be only a short while before she would pass away. Draco had never told Harry that. Harry would never have agreed to put the picture up in their room if he’d know it holds memories of a time of heartache for Draco.

 

“You took these,” Daphne says. It’s not a question but Draco nods his head anyway in conformation. “They are beautiful. Are they from the grounds in Wiltshire?”

 

“Yes,” Draco manages to say. He just can’t believe Harry left them. He loved those photographs, said they were works of art. Draco remembers the day they put them up, Harry’s firm arms around his waist and his head resting on Draco’s back. He remembers how Harry had said he was lucky to be in love with such a talented man, how great it was he never had to pay a single penny again to have art on his walls. They had laughed so hard Toby had come to check upon them. It had been one of the good days, before Ginevra had destroyed it all.

 

“The real estate agent is waiting for you downstairs. I don’t think he wants to sell the place to you,” Daphne says. Draco still hasn’t looked at her, his eyes are fixed on the photographs. He tries to understand what it means. Why would Harry leave them? They were his, a gift, a token of their love. A love that will never be again. Harry said goodbye to it by leaving the photographs and it’s time Draco does the same.

 

“I’ve really lost him,” he whispers. “Daphne, I think I’ve really lost him.”

 

Daphne leans against Draco’s side and Draco places his arm around her waist. They don’t talk. Tears stream down Draco’s cheeks. He thought he’d accepted what happened, he thought he’d already given up on the hope that maybe one day he and Harry could find their way back to each other. He’d been wrong. Until now. Now all hope is shattered.

 

“You still want the buy the house?” Daphne asks.

 

“Yes, I can’t let it fall into some strangers hand. If he ever changes his mind I want him to be able to get it back the way it was.”

 

“You’re a kind man, Draco. Doing this for the man that broke your heart.”

 

Draco shudders. Maybe he’s a fool for going through with this, wasting his money on a house nobody will live in. A home that only holds memories of a time Draco wants to forget. Just so he can move on without the hole inside his heart.

 

“I need to do this,” he says.

 

“I know you do,” Daphne says with a smile. “So let's go downstairs and waste our money.”

 

Draco turns to look at Daphne. “Thank you for helping me.”

 

Daphne smiles again and her eyes crinkle. “Astoria will haunt me for the rest of my days if I don’t. And someone has to believe in a happy ending for you, even when you can’t see it yourself yet.”

 

Draco hugs Daphne and thanks her again. Together they walk down the stairs and into the study. The real estate agent looks up from inspecting one of the bookcases. They’re empty now, all the books removed. Draco should ask Hermione where they stored them all. Some of them were books Draco would like to get back one day.

 

“Mister Malfoy, I did you a favour by showing you the house. But I need to let you know that the sale with my other client is as good as settled,” the real estate agent says.

 

“Told you he didn’t want to sell to you,” Daphne whispers in Draco’s ear before she moves to sit on top of the desk. Harry used to sit there, on the few days he tried to write that book he’d talked about. Draco doesn’t think it’s ever going to be written, but he’d supported Harry in his endeavour anyway. The man was allowed to figure out what it was he really wanted to do with his life. He’d been trapped in a job he hated for years just to please a wife who would never be pleased with anything Harry did.

 

“I’ll pay double of what your other client offered,” Draco says. With the money he’s saved over the years, the profit of selling the Manor, and the Greengrass heritage he should be able to.

 

The estate agent laughs. “I don’t think you understand the amount my client is willing to pay for the home of the famous Harry Potter.”

 

“And I don’t think you understand that I”m willing to sell everything I have to make sure this house doesn’t fall in the hands of some crazy Saviour worshipper,” Draco says.

 

“Nigel, we have the money,” Daphne chips in. She’s got her sweet smile on and is ready to play the Innocent girl. Draco remembers it from their schooldays. Daphne had the talent to make everyone believe she was a sweet angel. Draco knows better by now, heard stories from Astoria that show a whole different side of Daphne, but he will let her put up the act. It’s the reason she came along in the first place.

 

“And I don’t think you understand what this house means to us. To my cousin. He’s already lost his mother and now you want him to lose his home too? The boy is heartbroken. It’s not easy losing your mother at a young age like that. I know, I’d had to lose my own mother in the same way.” A single tear falls from Daphne’s eye and Draco almost laughs. Daphne should have become an actress instead of a fashion designer. Draco doesn’t want to think of the shame Tori would feel if she knew her sister was using her death to get what they want. But it looks like it’s working, the estate agent is sputtering, trying to come up with a reason why he can’t sell the house to them.

 

“I really don’t think I can cancel the sale so suddenly,” Nigel says.

 

“Nigel, please don’t make me go back to my cousin without the keys to his home. He will never forgive us if we don’t,” Daphne says in a broken voice.

 

“Maybe I can make a deal,” Nigel wavers. He turns towards Draco, away from Daphne’s sad eyes. “You said you were willing to pay double the price?”

 

“Yes, we are,” Draco answers the man. He can see him calculating his own share and Draco doesn’t want to know to what kind of ridiculous price he just agreed.

 

“Well, if it’s to help a grieving boy, who am I to say no to a deal like this,” Nigel says. He claps in his hands before he waves his wand to summon a sale agreement from his briefcase. 

 

Daphne smiles at Draco and he nods his head. They did it. The house is theirs. It will cost Draco every penny he has, but it’s worth it.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry grabs his coat and walks out of the house. He can’t believe the letter he got only minutes ago. What is Ginny thinking asking him to do that? There is no way he could. Not knowing what the consequences would be. Harry is willing to give up everything for his kids, but he won’t destroy someone’s else life in the process. Hermione screams from down the hall, but Harry doesn’t pay any attention to her. He has to talk to Ginny, make her see that she can’t demand this. Doesn’t she know him at all? Or does she just really not want him to ever see his kids again?

 

Harry apparates as soon as he is out of the house and lands in the alley close to his old home. The little cottage he’d bought when he found out Ginny was pregnant. It was the place where all three of his kids had been born. Where he made so many happy memories with them. Harry walks up the path that leads to the back door and into the kitchen. He stops in front of the door and looks inside. He spots the cabin where James once hit his head so bad they had to take him to St. Mungo’s. There was still a dent in the wood, no matter how many times Ginny had tried to fix it. Harry always said it gave the house character. Ginny didn’t agree and she’d let him know. Harry remembers the times that he had tried to hold onto the island in the middle of the kitchen while Ginny her hexes hit him over and over again.

 

Time passes while Harry deliberates in his head if it’s a good idea to step back into the house that had been his prison for years. He knows what Ginny wants. It was clear in the latest letter from her lawyer. And Harry will do it. He will become a prisoner in this house again. For his kids. He’ll do anything for his kids.

 

With shaking hands Harry opens the back door and steps into the house. His feet are heavy and he struggles to put one foot in front of the other. Hermione and Davis had warned him that this would happen. But Harry hadn’t wanted to listen to them. And now he will pay the consequences. It’s his own stupid fault. He dug his own grave when he took a chance on happiness. Uncle Vernon had been right, Harry didn’t deserve anything. He was trouble, a pain in the ass. He needs someone to set him straight. He’d always had. Why did he even think he could do this without someone telling him when he did something wrong.

 

Ginny walks into the kitchen when the door closes behind Harry. Her eyes widen when she sees Harry and she almost drops the tray with mugs she holds in her hands.

 

“What are you doing here?” she asks.

 

Harry’s muscles tense up and he puts his hand in his pocket. His fingers fold around the small picture that’s in there. The one he carries with him ever since he cleaned out Grimmauld Place. When he took his personal possessions to store them in boxes in Ron and Hermione’s guest room.

 

“You’re not allowed to be here, Harry. You need to go before the kids see you. You don’t want to upset them,” Ginny says in a firm voice. She sounds so much like her mother at the moment. Only Molly always seemed to somehow intertwine her words with kindness. When Ginny utters them they are cold and painful.

 

“We need to talk,” Harry stutters. His eyes skim around the room. He’s afraid to look Ginny in the eyes. What if she makes him leave. What if she won’t listen to him.

 

“Well talk fast. We’re about to unpack some presents. It’s Christmas eve as you know.”

 

Harry nods. He knows. He’s been thinking of it all day. Of how last year he spent it with his four kids and Draco. He can’t stop thinking about how Draco had made fun of him for making hot chocolate from scratch. Or how his kids had laughed and joked around while trying to guess what each present would hold. Draco’s smile and glistering eyes have hunted Harry all day. Until the letter.

 

“I’ll move back in, remarry you, try to get my job back, I’ll do it all,” Harry spurts out. He almost trips over his own words, but if he doesn’t say it now he’s afraid he’ll pull out. “But I won’t involve Draco. I won’t betray what I had with him. You can’t ask me to do that.”

 

“And why not? It’s the truth, isn’t it? He drugged you, what else can explain why you suddenly left me, and are willing to crawl back into my bed now that he’s gone,” Ginny says. Her words hurt. Does she really think Draco drugged Harry and that he’s the only reason why Harry left Ginny?

 

“It’s not like that, you know it,” Harry tells her. He tries to stay calm, to not let his fear take the overhand. He should have taken Hermione with him.

 

“Still, I don’t see why you can’t tell the world that he used magic to get what he wanted. He’s death eater scum, nobody cares what happens to him.”

 

“I care!” Harry shouts. “I will always care, no matter how hard you try to push it out of me.” Tears well up in Harry’s eyes. The longer he stands here the more he wants to turn around and flee the house. But he needs to think of the kids. Of James that needs his father now that he told his family he’s gay. Albus that lost his best friend. And Lily who might need her father one day to cry over boys that will break her heart.

 

“Well if you care so much, then why are you here? Why come back to me?”

 

“I told you, I’d do anything for our kids. Anything you ask.”

 

“Apparently not,” Ginny shrugs. “You just said you won’t say the death eater drugged you.” Ginny shakes her head and turns towards the door. “I won’t be second choice, Harry. The public needs to know you want me, not him. And the only way to make sure they do is if you say he used a love potion on you.”

 

“They will send him straight to Azkaban if I make a statement like that. You can’t expect me to condemn his life so I can be with my kids.”

 

Ginny turns back around. Her eyes are cold and a shiver goes down Harry’s back. “Why not, it’s where he’s supposed to be. He’s a death eater, he supported Voldemort. Do you have any idea how many people are dead because of him?”

 

Harry swallows the lump in his throat. Draco paid for his crimes and he learnt, chanced for the better. He’s a good man, a just man, and a loving father. “And what about Scorpius. You want that boy to grow up without his parents? Isn’t it enough he already lost his mother?”

 

“Probably killed by her own husband, That poor girl, falling for a maniac like Malfoy. I’m sure he’s what killed her.”

 

“Do you even hear yourself,” Harry says with a shaking voice. “ How can you say that. She was the mother of Albus’ best friend. And she was kind and loving. At least she believed in second chances.”

 

“So do I,” Ginny says. “Why do you think I’m giving you one? Just do what’s right for once in your life and put that death eater behind bars.”

 

“I’m doing what is right. I won’t condemn a man to prison for something he didn’t do. I won’t pretend I don’t love him! I’ll move back in here, I’ll be your prisoner. I don’t care that my life is ruined, not when it’s the best thing to do for James, Albus and Lily. But I won’t ruin his and Scorpius’ lives in the process.”

 

“You don’t love him!” Ginny shouts. “He’s death eater scum. You love me.”

 

“No, I don’t, Ginny. I hate you.” Harry knows it’s true the moment he says it. He’s been standing up for her towards the kids, towards Draco. Only Harry doesn’t know why anymore. This woman destroyed him. “You’ve hurt me, over and over again. I’d let you turn me into a man that hates himself. And I hate you for it!”

 

Harry takes a step towards the back door when Ginny pulls out her wand. She lifts it and is ready to cast when the door between the kitchen and the hallway opens. Albus stops in his tracks when he sees Harry standing on the other side of the room.

 

“Dad? Are you okay?” Albus asks. Harry shakes his head. His body is shaking and tears are streaming down his face. He thought he could do it. Come back here and be Ginny’s punch ball again. But he can’t. He won’t. No matter how much he loves his kids, if he moves back here he will crumble apart. And what good would he be for them then?

 

“No, Albus,” Harry says. “I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I’d thought I would do anything to be with you all again. But I can’t.”

 

Albus smiles at Harry. “I know, dad. It’s okay. We know you love us.”

 

Harry’s chest warms up and he smiles back at Albus. He might never see him again until he turns seventeen, but Harry needs to get out of here. He needs to get a port key to France and beg Draco for a second chance. And he needs to find a way to love himself again. Something he will never do if he stays.

 

“He doesn’t love you,” Ginny yells. “He only loves himself and that dirt he decided to leave us all for.”

 

The hex hits Harry in the chest. He didn’t see it coming and he smashes into the cabinets. Another hex follows. Harry grabs the counter to stay upright. Blood is flowing from his chest. He pushes his hand back into his pocket to grab his own wand. Only it isn’t there. His pocket is empty. His wand is still on his bedside table at Hermione’s house.

 

“Mom, stop it!” Albus screams when another hex hits Harry in the chest. His world is spinning and he struggles to stay on his feet.

 

“You will remember you love me, or you will never love anyone again!” Ginny screams when she raises her wand again.

 

Harry’s skin slashes open and he struggles to breathe. His legs give out and he falls backwards onto the floor. Albus screams for his mother to stop in the distance. He sounds so far away. Another spell hits his skin and Harry’s body shakes. And then there’s pain, indescribable pain. Harry thinks he screams, but he isn’t sure. His eyes spin and the world turns black around him. He knows what’s going to happen now. He’ll be going back to Kings Cross and this time he won’t have another choice than to take the train. Maybe his kids will forgive him one day for leaving them. He didn’t mean to, he wanted to see them graduate, see them fall in love, get married, have their own kids. And then when he would be old and grey he would pass away. Not like this, killed by the wand of their mother.

 

Harry dreams of James. He can hear his voice. A single shout of Expelliarmus and then it’s quiet. The pain is gone. It’s all peaceful now. Like how it was to lay in Draco’s arms. If only Harry could have told him one more time that he loves him. His beautiful Draco. The love of his life.

 

Draco is the last thing on Harry’s mind before the world shuts down around him.


	7. Second Chance

A tear slides from Draco’s eye. He can feel it travel down on the side of his nose. It is no use trying to stop it. Scorpius looks at him and then turns back to his book. Draco is glad he doesn’t say anything. It’s hard enough already, knowing he’s ruining Christmas. It just hurts. Even after all these months Draco still can’t believe that it’s over. He wants to get a port-key, go back to London and just hug Harry one last time. One Christmas together wasn’t enough. It will never be enough.

 

Draco stands up, he needs to move, needs to do something. He walks into the kitchen and waves his wand at the kettle. It starts to boil almost immediately. On autopilot, Draco opens the cupboard and pulls out two mugs, fills them with the hot-chocolate powder and waits for the kettle to finish. Harry said it was tradition, having hot-chocolate with the kids on Christmas eve. Draco hopes Harry gets to do that this year. Hopes that he knows that Draco will do the same, to remember what they had together.

 

When the kettle is done, Draco picks it up and pours the hot water into the mugs. His phone rings in his pocket. He puts the kettle down, takes out his phone and looks at the screen that tells him it’s The Weasel. Harry had told Draco a million times to change it, that it was stupid. Only Draco knows that he’s programmed into Ronald’s phone as The Ferret, and as long as that’s the case, Draco doesn’t see the need to change it. But why is Ronald calling him on Christmas Eve? Isn’t he supposed to be cuddled up with Hermione, watching some sappy Christmas Romance by now?

 

Draco stares at the screen for so long, not knowing what to do, that the phone stops ringing. Something must have happened with Harry, there is no other explanation. No other reason for Ronald to call him now. The tears that Draco tried to hold back all night start to flow again. The phone starts again and Draco forces his hand to push accept and hold the phone to his ear.

 

“Draco, are you there?”

 

“What happened?” Draco asks. His voice wavers but he needs to know. He needs to hear he’s just being paranoid and that Harry is fine.

 

“Fuck, Draco, when you said he wasn’t safe with her, this was not what I expected.”

 

“Ronald, what happened?” Draco almost shouts into the phone.

 

“Are you sitting down?”

 

“No, Ronald, I’m standing in my kitchen freaking the hell out because you are calling me on Christmas Eve. Now stop stalling and tell me what’s wrong with Harry.” Draco’s voice breaks when he utters Harry’s name.

 

“He went to talk to Ginny tonight. We think it’s because her lawyer sent new terms for him to come to a visitation arrangement for the kids. We haven’t seen them, but they must have been bad since Harry rushed out of the house without saying a word.”

 

“What did she do?” Draco whispers. “What did she do to him?”

 

Draco can hear an ambulance in the background, people talking in the distance. Ronald most be outside somewhere.

 

“It’s bad, Draco. The healers are working on him as we speak, they’re not sure if he’ll make it.”

 

Draco his legs seem to turn into jelly. His free hand clutches the counter, trying to stay upright.

 

“Hermione is with James and Albus, they are being questioned by the Aurors. Lily is here, together with mom and dad. Some French Aurors are on their way to your house, Hermione made sure of that. I don’t think Ginny will get to you without her wand, but just to be safe.”

 

Ronald just goes on, talking about his family, how they are dealing with it all, only Draco doesn’t really hear any of it. They’re not sure if he’ll make it. The words keep spinning around in Draco’s head. Harry might die tonight, is probably going to die tonight.

 

“Albus said the last thing he said before he passed out was your name. I’ve called Percy, he’s at the ministry right now arranging a port-key for you and Scorpius. You guys belong here. The kids want you here. Lily already asked a couple of times if you would come back now.”

 

Silence. Draco looks at the steam rising from the mugs with hot chocolate. Harry would have made them from scratch, with real milk and real chocolate, none of this cheap packet stuff you only need to pour water on. Draco should have bought chocolate and milk, do it the proper way. It was Christmas tradition, wasn’t it? Draco doesn’t even have whipped cream to top the mugs off.

 

“Draco, are you still with me?”

 

Draco clears his throat. “Yes, I.” He has no idea how to finish that sentence. Slowly he slides to the floor and sits down with his back against the cupboard.

 

“It’s okay, Draco. Just go grab some clothes and stuff and I’m sure we’ll have that port-key for you in no time at all.”

 

The door to the kitchen opens and Scorpius walks in. “Dad, there are some men at the door that want to see you. They’re Aurors. Please tell me you didn’t do anything illegal?”

 

Draco looks up at his son and as soon as Scorpius sees the tears on his fathers face he hurries over to him. “Dad, what’s wrong?”

 

Draco shakes his head. He can’t think straight. Not being with Harry is one thing, but losing him forever? Having to bury him like he did Astoria. How in Merlin’s beard is Draco supposed to recover from that? How do you move on when everyone you love dies?

 

“Dad, you’re scaring me. Please say something.”

 

The fear in Scorpius voice snaps Draco back to the present. He takes Scorpius’ hand in his and closes his eyes. “The Aurors are here to protect us,” he answers Scorpius first question. That he can do, he’s not sure if he can tell the rest.

 

“Protect us from what? Dad, I need you to snap out of it and tell me what’s going on,” Scorpius says with a stern voice. Draco snaps his head up and looks at his son, at how his expression is so alike Astoria when she was sick of Draco’s dwelling on things he couldn’t change.

 

A crackling sound comes from Draco’s mobile and he puts it back to his ear. “I’m fine, Ronald. I need to tell Scorpius. Just text me when the port-key is ready.”

 

“Yeah, I will. I need to get back in. Before Mother kills the nursing staff. I’ve never seen her like this.”

 

Draco hangs up the phone and motions for Scorpius to sit down next to him. Scorpius leans into Draco’s side and Draco puts his arm around Scorpius’ shoulders.

 

“Harry is hurt,” he says with difficulty. He opens his mouth to say more, but he can’t find the words. Scorpius knows Ginevra only as Albus his mother. He doesn’t know about the scars on Harry’s back or the nights Harry fell asleep crying because of what she did.

 

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Scorpius asks.

 

Draco nods his head and rests it on his knees that he’s pulled up towards his chest. Tears start to fall again. “I’m sorry Scorp, I can’t, he might die. I can’t lose him, not like this.”

 

Scorpius throws his arm around Draco and buries his face against Draco’s chest. “Are we going back?” Scorpius asks with a shaky voice. “I want to go back, dad. If Albus is going to lose his dad, I need to be there. He’s going to need me.”

 

Draco folds his arms around Scorpius. “We’re going back,” he cries. Scorpius lets Draco hold him and together they cry. The Aurors walk into the room at some point and fire away in French about how they secured the place and that they will stay until Draco and Scorpius have left for England. Draco thinks he thanks them, but he’s not sure. He just wants to get out of here, make it to Harry and force him to live.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco follows the Auror in front of him through the halls of St. Mungo’s. Scorpius’ hand is clasped in his own. Draco doesn’t know when Scorpius had wanted to hold his hand for the last time, but it was a long time ago. Probably around Astoria’s dead. So a little over two years ago. And now, even though his son is fifteen years old, he needs the comfort of his father’s hand in his. Draco doesn’t mind. It helps him not to break down again. He’s never felt this hopeless in his entire life. He thought that leaving Harry was going to be the worst that could ever happen to him. How wrong was he? Harry dying will be much worse. Because then there really will be no change that they could find their way back to each other.

 

The Auror takes a turn into a new corridor. Once Draco follows him a young girl shouts his name. Lily runs towards him, her red hair flying behind her. She slams into Draco, wraps her hands around his waist and buries her face against his stomach. Scorpius lets go of Draco’s hand so Draco can hug Lily. The girl cries and clings to Draco. Draco struggles to hold in his own tears. He pets Lily’s hair and hopes it helps her a little. Draco looks up and spots the Weasley family further down the hall. Ronald’s parents, Charlie, and Bill sit on some plastic hospital chairs. Their expressions are downturned. Ronald is on his way towards Draco. He pats Scorpius on the shoulder when they pass.

 

“Where are Al and James?” Scorpius asks.

 

“They are still with the Aurors, giving statements. Hermione said they’ll be done soon,” Ronald answers him. Scorpius nods and walks on. He sits down next to Bill and stares at the floor. Draco doesn’t want to think what it will do to Scorpius if Harry doesn’t survive. Scorpius sees Harry as his second dad, Draco hasn’t missed that. So if Harry dies, it will be like losing another parent for Scorpius.

 

The tears slip from Draco’s eyes. He tries to swallow them away, but it’s no use. This is all too much.

 

“Lily, why don’t you let Draco go so we can all sit down together,” Ronald says while he kneels down next to her.

 

“No,” a small voice answers. “He’s my papa, I want him to hold me.” Draco’s heart breaks and his hands tighten around Lily.

 

“It’s okay, Ronald, just let her be for a little bit. We’ll join you all later,” Draco manages to say. His voice is strained.

 

Ronald nods and turns back to his family. Draco watches him walk down the hall and sit down next to his father. Arthur lays his arm around Ronald’s shoulders and he says something to him. Draco is too far away to hear, but Ronald doesn’t seem to agree. He shakes his head and stares back towards Draco.

 

“Papa, I don’t want daddy to die,” Lily says against his chest. “Please make sure daddy doesn’t die.”

 

Draco sits down on his knees so he can look Lily in the eyes. “It will be okay, Lily. Your dad is strong, he’ll pull through.”

 

Lily wipes a tear from Draco’s cheek. “You don’t have to lie to me papa, I heard the healers talk to uncle Charlie, I know daddy is going to die.”

 

Draco pulls Lily close to him again and hides his face on her shoulder. “I’m not lying for you, Lily. It’s for me,” he cries. The tears run freely again. He can’t stop them. He feels like his heart has been ripped out and nothing is going to mend the hole it left inside him.

 

“Papa, I love you,” Lily says. Her arms fold around Draco’s back and it warms Draco’s heart a little. “Can I stay with you when daddy dies?”

 

“I don’t know sweetheart, I think that is up to your uncle Ronald and aunt Hermione,” Draco says. He will take her in, and James and Albus. When Harry dies, he will make sure that his children are well cared for, if Hermione and Ronald will let him. His arms tighten around Lily when his legs start to wobble. He’s really going to lose him. The love of his life will soon be gone and there is nothing Draco can do to stop it from happening.

 

Two sets of arms fling around Draco and Lily then. Soft tears intertwine with his own. “We want to stay with you too,” James whispers. Draco closes his eyes and prays to all the gods he can think of to just please save Harry. His children don’t deserve to go through the pain of losing their father. It’s the one thing Harry never wanted them to know, what it was like to lose your parents. And Draco gets it, he has seen what it did to Scorp, how it changed him. He doesn’t want James, Albus and Lily to go to this.

 

“And you will, if he dies. But your father isn’t dead yet, and I for hell are not giving up on him. So don’t any of you dare to do so. He’s survived much worse than this, fuck he survived the killing curse twice. If he can pull that off, he better as hell survive this,” Hermione’s strong voice says from their right. “Now all of you, get up from the floor and stop acting like he’s already dead.”

 

They all get up and Draco gives her a faint smile. He needed to hear that more than anything right now. He mouths her a thank you and then they walk towards the others that are waiting. Albus sits down next to Scorpius and they slack into each other. James sits down next to Charlie and Lily crawls on Draco’s lap as soon as he sits down. She’s refusing to let go of Draco and that’s fine. If that is what she needs right now, Draco will hold her for as long as she needs him to.

 

“Ron, what’s the last news you’ve gotten from the healers?” Hermione asks.

 

Ronald moves to get up, only to sit down again when Hermione shakes her head. “You want to do this in front of his kids?” Ronald asks her.

 

“Yes, Ron, they have every right to know,” Hermione says.

 

“Hermione, dear, I don’t think you understand. They’re still children. Let Ron explain it to you in private,” Mrs Weasley says. Draco looks at her and he finally understands what Harry had meant when he said she was a kind and loving person.

 

“I don’t think you understand, Molly. I’ve had to listen to them describe what Ginny did, how she cast curse after curse at Harry while her own son begged her to stop. They already know it’s bad, they were there to see it happen. And they were brave enough to tell the Aurors even though they knew that their father might be dead before they were done and back here. So don’t baby them and let them hear the truth. They need to know.”

 

Draco wants to get up and hug Hermione. And then he wants to hold James and Albus close again, knowing what they might have gone through tonight. Draco remembers what it was like to see his own father raise his wand against his mother, he remembers her screams and the tears on her eyes close to the end of the war. It had all gotten so much worse ever since the Dark Lord had returned. And the torture that happened inside the house back then, Draco remembers that too. And what he hears of Hermione’s words is that those two boys watched their own mother almost torture their father to death. Draco looks at James who avoids eye contact with everyone, and at Albus who has hidden his face in Scorpius shoulder while he cries. Even after being apart for six months those two are still the closest of friends.

 

“She’s right,” Charlie says. “It’s not like they don’t know that Harry might die. We all bloody know it. And here I thought I had to warn that guy,” Charlie points his finger towards Draco, “to never hurt him, while it was my own bloody sister that did this. What happened to this family? When did we all start hating each other? Fred would be devastated if he saw all of us now.” Charlie gets up and walks away, his phone in his hand. “I need to call Luca, tell him I won’t make it home in time for Christmas.”

 

The hallway stays silent. Nobody speaks a word. Draco watches as Molly her eyes tear up. Arthur holds her close to him, but she doesn’t seem to register any of it. Draco hopes he never has to find out what it’s like to lose one of your own children. The thought alone of losing Scorp, or Albus, James or Lily, is already suffocating.

 

“Is Dad going to die?” James asks after a while.

 

Ron clears his throat and takes James hand in his. “They don’t know. It doesn’t look good. The healers are still operating on him, trying to repair the damage. Harry’s lost a lot of blood and his heart got hit. They don’t know if it can function without the help of magic.”

 

Right now Draco wishes he never had any healer training. He wishes he didn’t know what Ron was telling them. Right now the only thing keeping Harry alive is magic. And if they fear for his heart, if it’s damaged to badly, he won’t make it through the night. And there is nothing any of them can do to change it, no matter how much they all love Harry and want him to live. The statistics about spell damage of the heart don’t lie, and Draco knows they are not in their favour tonight.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Will you stay?” Lily asks Draco. Draco holds her hand and pushes her hair from her face.

 

“I’m never leaving any of you again,” Draco answers. The nurses have transfigured some chairs into beds so the children could get some proper sleep. They won’t leave the room and Draco understands. This might be the last moments they have with their dad. Harry might be in a coma and unresponsive, at least he’s still alive. And that is all that matters to his children.

 

“I love you, papa,” Lily says with her eyes already closed.

 

“Love you too. Now go to sleep, I promise I’ll wake you up if anything changes.”

 

Draco sits next to Lily until she falls asleep. He kisses her on the forehead and then walks out of the room. It only takes him four steps before he stumbles and falls to the floor. Why did he look into Harry’s chart? Why couldn’t he just let it be and not know that the healers have already given up on him? A day, maybe two, and then he will be gone. Will he know that Draco is here now, that he will look after his children once he’s gone? Does he hear them in the room with him? Draco hopes he can, he hopes Harry knows that Draco still loves him.

 

“I’m sorry,” Mrs Weasley says. She kneels down next to Draco and puts her arms around him. “I was wrong,” she continues, “and I’m sorry.”

 

Draco wipes the tears from his eyes and moves to stand up. Mrs Weasley stands up too. “Let’s go and take a seat,” she says. “Arthur will take care of the kids while we’re out here.”

 

Draco nods his head and makes his way to the small coffee room around the corner. Mrs Weasley makes them both a coffee. She asks Draco if he needs any sugar or milk and then brings him his coffee. Draco stares into the black liquid. There have only been two people in his entire life who took it on them to remember how Draco likes his coffee. One is dead, and the other will be soon. Draco isn’t even forty. People aren’t supposed to lose their loved ones so young, not in a time of peace. Maybe the people are right about him, maybe he is a curse, a man that doesn’t deserve happiness.

 

“You are better with the kids then Ginny ever was,” Mrs Weasley says. “The way you take care of them, like they are your own. I’m sorry I thought you would be a bad influence for them.”

 

Draco doesn’t know what to say. He hardly knows this woman. The only thing he knows is that Harry sees her as his second mom and that he was heartbroken when she broke all contact when he and Ginny broke up.

 

“I won’t fight you for them if he dies. We’ll help wherever we can and take them whenever you need time to grieve alone. But I want you to know that I can see that they belong with you and that I won’t try to take them away from you.”

 

“Thank you,” Draco chokes. He pushes the palm of his hand into his eye to force the tears back.

 

“And I’m sorry I’d didn’t see what I turned my daughter into. That we didn’t see that she was more damaged by the war then she let on. I’ve heard Ron and Hermione talk, and I’ve heard the nurse speculate about the scars on his back. I wish I’d noticed, maybe then we wouldn’t be here today.”

 

Draco looks up from his coffee and sees the red eyes of Mrs Weasley. Her coffee cup shakes in her hand. “He loved you, even after everything. He doesn’t blame you,” Draco tells her. “And neither do I. And when Harry dies,” Draco closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “I won’t keep his children away from you.”

 

Mrs Weasley takes Draco’s hand in hers. “Don’t give up on him yet, he’s stronger then we all give him credit for.”

 

Draco shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Mrs Weasley. I’ve known the stats ever since Ron told us his heart had suffered spell damage and his chart doesn’t lie. I don’t think he’s ever going to wake up.”  Draco doesn’t stop the tears this time. “I never should have left when he told me too. I knew it would get worse, that her demands would be disproportionate, and still, I left without telling anyone how dangerous she was.”

 

“Oh, my sweet boy, this is not your fault. You are the only one who really saw him, took care of him when we all dropped him. Ron thinks I didn’t hear him when he tried to tell me, and back then I didn’t want to hear that you were good for Harry. But I did hear what he said. And now, that I know what he ran away from, I’m glad he had you to look after him.”

 

“I don’t want him to die,” Draco sobs. “I love him, I need him.”

 

Mrs Weasley moves her chair so she’s closer to Draco and pulls him against her side. “Then don’t give up. Healers have been wrong before. As long as he still breathes, he can come back to us, you hear me.”

 

Draco nods. He doesn’t really believe it, but he tries to hold onto the hope that maybe Harry will magically beat death once again.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Hermione hands Draco a steaming cup of coffee and then sits down in the chair on the other side of the bed. Ron has taken James, Albus and Scorpius to the cafeteria to force some food in the boys. Lily didn’t want to leave the room, she’s been glued to Draco for the last week. It’s a fight every time Draco has to go to the toilet, but there is no way he’s doing his business in front of a thirteen-year-old girl, so he fights her every time. She waits for him at the door now and grabs hold of his hand as soon as he steps out of the bathroom. Draco can live with that. And he gets it, she’s scared. Harry still hasn’t woken up and the longer it takes the greater the change it will never happen. Draco keeps telling himself that it’s better than Harry being dead, but he’s starting to doubt himself on that. This waiting and hoping for the impossible to happen, it’s hard on everyone.

 

“Can you read to me, papa?” Lily asks. Her head rests on Draco’s shoulder and he knows she must be tired. It’s not like any of them have left this room to go home and sleep. The children hardly sleep, they’re too scared to miss the final moments of their father. Draco has read Harry’s chart, he knows the meaning of all the little scrambles on there, the estimated survival time, the chances of recovery, but Harry has fooled them all. He’s still alive and breathing on his own, his heart works, beats regularly even. Draco can’t really believe it. He’s talked to the healer that did his surgery, he was sure Harry’s heart was beyond repair. But he’d been wrong and maybe, just maybe, they won’t have to lose Harry after all.

 

“Yes, Draco, why don’t you read to us. I could use some distraction,” Hermione chips in.

 

“Traitor,” Draco jokes at Hermione. Her hand holds one of Harry’s and she squeezes it from time to time. Draco thinks it’s to remind herself that he’s still here. Draco has done the same, run his hand through Harry’s hair, kissed him on his forehead, begged him to wake up when he was alone with Harry when Molly forced the children to the nurses' locker rooms to have showers and brush their teeth.

 

“Will you, papa?” Lily asks again.

 

“Yes, sure, go grab me a book and I’ll read,” Draco gives in.

 

Lily slides from Draco’s lab and walks to the bag Molly brought with her three days ago. It’s filled with books, toys and clean clothes. She pushes through it to find the book she wants.

 

“They found Ginny,” Hermione says. “She’s in a holding cell at the Ministry. Just so you know.”

 

Draco nods. He doesn’t really care. He’s got four children to think about, he can’t waste any of his energy on the woman that almost killed the love of his life. He will break if he does.

 

Lily climbs back onto Draco’s lap and gives him her favourite book. “Why am I not surprised I’m reading this again?”

 

“Just read, papa. I want to dream of a better world, one where mommy isn’t in jail and daddy isn’t in a coma.”

 

“Okay sweetheart,” Draco says before he opens the book. Lily makes herself comfortable in his arm and turns the pages for him while Draco reads. When they’ve finished the first chapter the boys and Ron return to the room. Nobody says a word and Draco keeps reading. It’s comforting in a strange way. Instead of reading to Harry, like Draco has done so many times in the couple of months they were together, he’s now reading to his children and best friends. And maybe even to Harry, maybe Draco’s suiting voice will help him find his way home.

 

Somewhere along chapter five,  Albus and Scorpius dose of to sleep, and when Draco reaches the end of the book, Lily is off to the world of dreams as well. Draco puts down the book and looks over to Harry. Two green eyes stare back at him. Draco’s heart stops for a second and tears fill his eyes. “Harry, I,” Draco chokes on his own tears.

 

“Ron, get a nurse in here. He’s awake,” Hermione says. Draco doesn’t really hear her, all he can do is look at Harry who smiles at him.

 

“You,” Harry starts before he coughs.

 

“Don’t try to talk,” Draco tells him. “You’ve been out of it for a while. Hermione, get him some water, he’ll need it.”

 

“Dad,” James says from the head of the bed and Harry’s eyes snap towards him in seconds. “Oh, dad, you’re really awake,” James cries. Hermione moves out of the way so James can grab Harry’s hand and hold it. “I love you, dad,” James says.

 

“How long?” Harry asks. His voice still sounds rough and Draco wishes Hermione would hurry up with the water.

 

“Twelve days,” Hermione answers when she lifts Harry’s head gently to help him drink some small sips of water.

 

“The kids?”

 

“They’re all here, all safe. She didn’t touch them,” Draco says. His hand has found its way back to Harry’s and their fingers intertwine. “You really scared us all, ruined Christmas and New Years,” Draco tries to joke. Harry squeezes his hand. “Don’t you ever do that again, you hear me. Never again,” Draco sobs. He can’t hold the tears back. Harry is really awake. He’s still alive and holding onto Draco’s hand firmly.

 

Lily stirs in Draco’s lap and her fist grip onto Draco’s shirt. “Why are you crying, papa? Is daddy dead?” she chokes.

 

Draco looks away from Harry and focuses on Lily. “No sweetheart, he’s awake. Just open your eyes and look.”

 

Lily opens her eyes and turns her head to look at Harry. Harry smiles at them both and Lily almost falls in her hurry to bent over Harry and hug him.

 

“Be careful, Lil, he’s still hurt,” James fusses from the other side of the bed. Draco laughs and shakes his head. Ron comes back with a nurse and she makes them all move to the side to check Harry’s vitals. She asks him silly questions to see if he’s lucent enough and Harry answers them while his eyes stay on Draco.

 

“Should we wake those two up?” Ron asks with a nod of his head in the direction of Scorpius and Albus. Hermione tells him to let them sleep for now and Draco agrees. It’s been days since they slept so peacefully.

 

“You’re here?” Harry asks Draco once the nurse is done and satisfied Harry won’t die any second now.

 

“Of course I’m here,” Draco says when he moves back into the chair next to Harry’s bed. He takes Harry’s hand in his and his other hand strokes some of Harry’s hairs out of his face.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Harry begins. Tears well up in his eyes and Draco shushes him.

 

“Don’t, it’s okay. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, you hear me.”

 

“But I sent you away, broke your heart. You should hate me.” Harry’s voice breaks and he closes his eyes briefly. A small tear slides over his cheek and Draco wipes it away.

 

“I can never hate you, Harry. Not for choosing your children over me. It only made me love you more, you idiot. I love you so much.” Draco knows he’s crying too now. The emotions in his body race in all directions. He’d thought he could never tell Harry again how much he loves him, but now he can. He wants to tell him over and over again.

 

“I love you too,” Harry cries.

 

Draco bends his head and gives Harry a soft kiss on his lips and then rest his forehead against Harry’s.

 

“Stop being gross, papa. And let me hug daddy again,” Lily uppers from somewhere beside him.

 

Harry and Draco smile at each other. “So, you’re papa now, is it?”

 

“Yes, since the moment I stepped into this hospital,” Draco tells Harry. Harry smiles and he squeezes into Draco’s hand.

 

“Maybe we should give her something to really complain about if she thinks a small peck on the lips is already gross.”

 

Draco won’t let Harry say that twice and kisses Harry again. Only now it’s more than just a little peck, it’s a proper kiss. Lily makes funny noises and James starts complaining that he’s scarred for life, but Draco doesn’t care. He thought he would never be able to do this again, he thought they had their last kiss this summer when Harry asked him to leave. And now, after all hope had seemed lost, he can lock his lips with the love of his life again.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry looks at the ceiling of the hospital room and he tries not to think of how close he’d come to dying on Christmas eve. He tries to focus on the soft fingers that massage some lotion on his wounds. Draco’s hands are still soft like Harry remembers them. They move with care and love over Harry’s wounds that will probably scar. Scars he will probably carry for the rest of his life. No matter how much time will pass, Harry will never be able to forget what Ginny did to him, and most of all, what she almost did to their own kids.

 

Harry hears the door to his room open and close again. Familiar footsteps make their way to the side of Harry’s bed. Harry opens his eyes and looks at the horrified face of James.

 

“I didn’t know,” James chokes. His hand reaches for Harry’s chest and carefully follows one of the new lines that mark it. It’s close to his heart. “I called Charlie but I didn’t think he would come in time. I didn’t know which spells to use to help.”

 

Harry grabs onto James' arm and pulls him a little closer. “This is not your fault, you here me. I heard you, when you came into the room. You saved me.”

 

“But I shouldn’t have needed to. Dad, I had to use magic against my own mother. Stop her from killing you. I can’t, dad, I can’t stop thinking of it all.” James crumbles against the bed while tears fall from his eyes.

 

“Oh James, my boy, come here,” Harry says. He might not be able to get out of this bed, but that won’t stop him to comfort his son. So he moves a little to the side and makes room for James to lay down beside him. James rests his head on Harry’s chest and Harry folds his arms around the boy.

 

“Talk to me, James. Don’t try to keep it in. Trust me, it will only make it worse.” Harry says while his hand strokes over James' hair. He remembers how he used to do this all the time when James was still little. How it would comfort the boy when he was upset. And just like then James’ cries seem to calm down a little.

 

Draco gets up from his chair, gives Harry a kiss on his forehead and then walks out of the room without saying a word. Harry still can’t believe Draco is back in his life and taking care of him like only he ever could. Harry just wishes he hadn’t almost died to make it happen.

 

“I heard Albus scream. I thought they were fighting again. He and mom had been fighting the entire holiday. Albus blamed mom for Scorpius transferring to Beauxbatons. But his screams were different than the other times. He sounded scared, not angry. So I walked to the kitchen, told Lily to stay where she was. And I’m so glad I did that. What if she had followed me. Seeing you like that, on the floor, blood streaming from your body. I thought you were dead, dad, you looked so pale and unresponsive. And mom just stood there, her wand pointed at you. It’s like she didn’t even register that Albus and I were in the room.”

 

“I’m sorry you had to see that, James. I never wanted any of you to ever see your mother like that.” Harry’s eyes start to water and he blinks a couple of times to stop the tears. It’s no use, they come anyway.

 

“Without thinking I pulled my wand from my pocket and cast an Expelliarmus at her. It was the only spell I could think of to make her stop. I didn’t want to hurt her, I just wanted her to stop. Mom looked so shocked when her wand flew out of her hand. She looked at me, and then at Albus. She didn’t say a word, she just ran for the back door and disappeared. She just left us there, with you dying on the floor. Dad, I can’t get the sight of you laying there out of my head. Every time I close my eyes I see you, laying there. With all the blood on your chest. There was so much blood, dad. I thought I lost you. I never want to lose you, I love you daddy.”

 

“I love you too, James. And I promise I’m going to be okay. I won’t leave you, I never want to leave any of you alone.”

 

They both cry and Harry is so glad he’s holding his boy. He’s eighteen by now. Harry missed his last birthday. It will be the only one he will miss. From now on, no matter what the court or anyone else says, Harry plans to be there for every next birthday. He doesn’t want to miss anything else in the life of his kids.

 

“I told Albus to get out of the room, to make sure Lily didn’t come to check what was going on. He just stood there, looking at the door mom went through. And then he asked me if she killed you. And I just didn’t know. Dad, why did mom do this? I don’t understand why she would do this. I know she didn’t like you anymore, but to try to kill you. And everyone always says I’m like her in so many ways. Will I be capable of hurting someone like that? What if I ever get angry and hurt someone that bad?”

 

Harry tightens his hold on James. He hates that he ever compared James to Ginny. His boy is nothing like her. His kind and caring, things Ginny has never been. “Oh, James, no, don’t even think like that. You are not your mother. You’re your own person and from what I’ve seen over the last eighteen years, I don’t think you will ever be capable of hurting anyone like that.”

 

“But I get angry like that. I want to destroy things when I’m angry. Dad, I’m scared.”

 

“I know, James. It’s okay to be scared. Being scared is good, it means you know that you don’t want to be like that. And that will help you, will keep you the person you want to be. And you’ve got me, Albus and Lily.” Harry blinks the tears from his eyes and it is silent for a second before he continues. “You even have Draco and Scorpius. We’re your family and we will help you when you feel like you will hurt someone. Just talk to me when you need to.”

 

“Thank you, daddy,” James says. Harry keeps a hold on him and lets out a deep breathe when he hears that James has fallen asleep. A couple of minutes later, Draco reenters the room. He’s got a cup of coffee in his hand and sits down next to Harry again.

 

“Is he okay?” Draco asks.

 

“He will be. Just scared and confused. He thought I was dead when he walked into the kitchen that night.”

 

Draco looks away and Harry sees the moister build op in Draco’s eyes.

 

“You were the one that found your mother, wasn’t it?” Harry asks Draco.

 

Draco nods his head. “It still hounds me from time to time. Seeing her lifeless body, the rope around her neck, the sheets of the bed a mess from the desperate attempts of her body to save her. I’m just glad I didn’t have Scorpius with me that morning to go wake up his grandma. He was so little back then.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry says.

 

“So am I. He’s going to blame himself for some time. I know I did. Bloody hell, I even blame myself for this. I never should have left you alone, not when you needed me the most.”

 

“I told you to go, Draco. I would have hated you if you had stayed.” Harry knows Draco knows this, but he says it anyway. If Draco had stayed it would have destroyed them. No matter how much they love each other, Harry is sure he would resent him in time for destroying his only chance to see his kids again.

 

“Maybe, but at least the children wouldn’t have had to see you like this. I take you hating me over them having to go through this if I could.”

 

Harry takes Draco’s hand in his and squeezes it. “This is not your fault, Draco. It was all my Gryffindor act first think later stupidity that got me into this hospital. It’s my own stupid fault my kids almost lost their dad. Draco, I…” Harry can’t finish his sentence. He’s afraid to say it out loud. He really thought he was going to die there in that kitchen. Without the change to say goodbye to his kids, hurting them more than he ever did in his life. And he doesn’t understand why everyone can forgive him so easily for it all. If he hadn’t shown up there on Christmas Eve, Ginny would never had gotten so mad and she wouldn’t have raised her wand at Harry. This is all his own stupid fault.

 

“Don’t you go blaming yourself for the things Ginevra did, you hear me. You don’t have to tell me, I already know what she did to you before you left her. And this, almost killing you. She did that, not you. No matter how mad you made her, she never should have raised her wand against you. And even if she did, she could have stopped at any time. But she didn’t, she’s the one that kept firing curse after curse at you, even after you went down. That is not on you, that is all on her. You hear me. This is not on you.”

 

Harry nods his head and lets his tears slide down his cheeks. He swallows and squeezes Draco’s hand again. He always knew that Draco knew how he got his scars, but Draco never said a word about it until now. Harry tries to hear Draco, take in that this is not his own fault, but Harry doesn’t believe it. But he wants to try to. “I’ll try,” he tells Draco.

 

“Okay,” Draco says. Harry is glad that this is enough for now. “Now go get some rest, before the crazy squat comes back and you won’t be able to sleep until I kick all their buts back to school.”

 

Harry closes his eyes and he smiles when Draco kisses his forehead again and then pulls a blanket over Harry and James, just before Harry falls asleep.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Lily, you have to let go of your dad now. We’re going to be late for our port key if you keep this up,” Draco says for what feels like the hundred time.

 

“No, I’m staying with daddy until he’s cleared to leave the hospital,” Lily says without any doubt in her voice.

 

“If she’s staying, then I’m staying too,” Albus chips in. He’s been waking up screaming every night since Christmas and the only reason he agreed with going back to school is the fact that Scorpius is joining him. James just wants to go back so he can properly prepare for his N.E.W.T.’s. Draco has been impressed with his determination to stay on track with his homework after Harry was awake and out of immediate danger of dying. None of them talk about the fact that he still can die, that he’s still suffering from spell damage that can spin him back to hanging by a tread at any moment.

 

“Nobody is staying,” Harry says. “You’ve all heard the healers, I’m doing really good and you’ve all missed enough school already. James has his N.E.W.T.’s this year, and Albus and Scorpius need to start worrying about their O.W.L.’s. I’m not having you all get low grades because you’ve spent half the year stuck in a hospital.”

 

“I don’t have any important exams at the end of the year, daddy. I can stay,” Lily tries again.

 

“All exams are important, Lily. And everything you learn now is important too. If you don’t learn the basics first you won’t be able to do the more difficult spells you will have to learn for your own O.W.L.’s when you’re in fifth grade.”

 

“But I don’t want to go. I want to stay with you and papa,” Lily cries. “Please, daddy.”

 

Draco shakes his head. He’s glad that Lily is back to her crocodile tears to try to get what she wants instead of the real tears she’s been shedding for the last four weeks. But right now is not the time to be kind to her. They really are going to miss their port key if they don’t leave soon. And Draco doesn’t feel like asking Hermione to get them a new one, and he defiantly doesn’t want to ask McGonagall for any favours to maybe floo into her office or something to avoid having to apparate multiple times to get all his children back to school.

 

“Lily, stop it. I know you don’t want to go to school. But you need to.”

 

“NO!,” Lily shouts. “I’m not leaving you. I don’t care if I fail school. You never finished school and you still got a very good job. And Draco also didn’t finish school and he makes a lot of money just taking pictures. I don’t need to go to school. I’m staying right here.”

 

Harry closes his eyes and shakes his head. “James,” he says, “can you get your brother and Scorpius ready to leave? Draco will follow you shortly.”

 

“Sure dad.” James moves towards the bed and gives Harry a hug. “You make sure you get better soon, alright. I want you to be able to attend my graduation at the end of the year.”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it, now go, before you all miss your port key.”

 

Albus and Scorpius also hug Harry and say their goodbyes. In the meantime Lily has planted her feet on the sheets, her hands clasped around Harry’s arm and she looks determined to not leave this room to go back to school. Once the boys are out of the room, Harry looks at Draco with a pleading look. Harry’s got dark circles underneath his eyes and his skin is still paler than it should be. Right now, it’s clear he doesn’t have the energy to fight Lily.

 

“Come on, Lily. Say goodbye to Harry and let’s go. Your dad needs to sleep and you need to get back to school,” Draco tells her.

 

“No,” she spits out. “Not until he’s better.”

 

“Lily, please listen to Draco,” Harry says in a broken tone. He’s really exhausted, which scares Draco a little.

 

“But I don’t want to leave you.”

 

“Lily, this is enough. Can’t you see you’re hurting your father? Now get off that bed so we can go,” Draco snaps. He didn’t mean to, but he can’t stand this. Harry is struggling to keep it all together and right now is not the time for a Lily tantrum.

 

“But what if he dies when I’m not here,” Lily says in a small voice. “I heard you talking with the healer yesterday, making him promise not to tell us that daddy can still die.”

 

“Fuck,” Draco says. He looks at Harry who pulls his little girl against his chest. They are both crying and Draco sits down defeated in one of the chairs. The children were not supposed to know. They had been so happy that Harry was awake. They had spent two weeks looking at their dad with gratitude. Harry wanted them to get back to school, wanted them to believe everything would be alright. Draco told him he shouldn’t give them false hope, but Harry had said he needed them to believe it, so he could make sure he’d get better.

 

“Lily, I’m not going to die, I promise,” Harry tells her.

 

“You also promised that everything would be okay after you left mommy. That didn’t happen. Nothing is okay. Everything is wrong. And I don’t want to go back to school and pretend everything is fine.”

 

Draco places his hand on Lily’s back and rubs her gently. He takes out his phone to text James to go ahead and take the port key back to school. He will apparate Lily to school later when she’s calmed down enough. And when Harry is ready to let her go.

 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I really thought everything would be okay,” Harry says with a choked-up voice. “But I do need you to go back to school. It will make me feel better. And Draco will be here with me all the time. You know he trained to be a healer before he became a photographer, he will know when things go bad and he will come and get you from school right away when they do.”

 

“Yes, I will,” Draco agrees. He won’t make the same mistake he made with Scorpius when Astoria was dying if it comes to it. He will get their children out of school the minute things will go south so they will all be able to say goodbye. Draco only hopes he never has to.

 

“Okay,” Lily says. “I’ll go back to school,” Lily finally agrees. Harry kisses her temple and then lets his eyes fall shut again.

 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says before he falls asleep.

 

“Sleep tight and get better soon daddy,” Lily says before she carefully slides off the bed. Draco takes her hand and together they walk out of the room. Draco glances back to the bed and can’t help but be breathless of the beauty that sleeps within it.

 

“You should marry daddy,” Lily says when they walk towards the apparition point in the hospital. “It will make him really happy.”

 

Draco sputters and looks down at Lily. “You want me to marry your father?”

 

“Yes,” Lily says. Draco shakes his head and just keeps walking. He can’t think of that right now. Yes, he wants to spend the rest of his life with Harry, but getting married again? He’s not sure if he’s ready for that. Not that the magical laws in Britain will let them. They state very clearly that you can only marry someone of the opposite sex.

 

“I’ll think about it,” Draco tells Lily, who has a big smile on her face, before they apparate to the gates of Hogwarts.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Harry looks at Hermione. He doesn’t know what she wants him to say. That he’s happy or relieved probably. But he won’t, because he’s fucking not.

 

“So, I’m not allowed anywhere near this case, of course, being family of the victim and the person on trial. But Marion is a great prosecutor, she will make sure the truth comes out,” Hermione continues.

 

“That’s great, Hermione,” Draco answers her. “I’m sure the Ministry will inform us if we have to contribute in any way.”

 

Harry turns his head into Draco’s shoulder. He doesn’t want to contribute to anything. He just wants to get the all-clear from the healers, find a new place to live and take this second chance on life he’s been given. Well, technically his fourth change. Maybe Scorpius is right and Harry is secretly a cat that has nine lives. So he will be able to escape dead another five times. Well in the rate he’s going he might even make it to a hundred years then.

 

“Harry, I thought you would be happy to hear that the Ministry is supporting you again. They even consider to up the charges to attempted murder and domestic abuse. That means that once this trial is over she will never be able to hurt anyone ever again.”

 

“Hermione, can we maybe talk about something else. Harry isn’t ready for this. Let just give him some time to adjust to the idea that the entire wizarding world is going to find out that his ex-wife almost killed him when he tried to settle some kind of visitation agreement for his children. You know how much he hates being the centre of attention.”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m just so angry at her. What she did, for who knows how long. And I didn’t even notice it. I’m really sorry Harry, me and Ron, we should have noticed something was wrong. You should have been able to tell us. And I’m really sorry you couldn’t.” Harry can hear that Hermione is upset, and he’s sure tears will be on her face when he looks up, but he can’t. Harry wants to disappear, so he just keeps his face hidden in the crook of Draco’s shoulder.

 

“He knows, Hermione. Just let him be, okay,” Draco tells her while his fingers stroke through Harry’s hair.

 

“Yes, off course. Did you already hear back from the healers about the latest tests? I’m sure both of you would like to go home by now.”

 

Home, wherever that is going to be. Harry still has to tell Draco that he sold Grimmauld Place. Draco said he would get Mila and Toby to clean it up, get it all ready for their return as soon as Harry can leave this stupid hospital. Whoever knew that spending two months in here would drive him crazy. At least it kept all the journalist at bay. Harry doesn’t need to know what they’ve been writing. Ron said it’s crazy to see how all the reporters that named Harry a young man with a midlife crisis that finally lost the plot when he left Ginny for Draco now call him the victim of an unjust society. Not a single word has gotten out about what really happened, the only thing that is public knowledge is that Ginny has been arrested for attacking Harry. And if it was up to Harry that would be all they ever find out. But with the trail coming that’s not going to happen. The entire world will hear about how their Saviour was just a scared man trapped in an abusive marriage that almost killed him.

 

“No, I hope they tell us something soon. The longer it takes the worse it’s going to be,” Draco says.

 

“It’s going to be fine, Draco,” Harry says while he sits up a little straighter. “I can walk all by myself to the toilet now, I’m sure they will all agree it’s time for me to get out of here. And when not, I’m going to hex everyone until they let me.”

 

“Harry, if they say you need to stay longer, you should really stay. What will your kids say if you drop dead at home because you got sick of staying at the hospital,” Hermione says.

 

Harry shakes his head and Draco lets out a short laugh. “Yes, Hermione, I know. And I will, I promised my kids I would listen to the healers and be a good patient for once. So here I am, being good and all. Doesn’t mean I want to stay here for another day,” Harry says.

 

“It would be nice to go home,” Draco says. “I’ve missed Grimmauld Place.”

 

Harry his hand moves up to the scar on his upper arm. He really needs to tell Draco, he knows he has to, but it will break his heart. He’s put just as much effort and time into fixing up that place as Harry had. And Harry just sold it without a second thought.

 

In that moment healer Johnson walks into the room. She has a smile on her face and tells them that Harry passed all the tests with flying colours. His heart is completely healed, no sign of any permanent damage. He’s free to recover further in his own home. Draco burst out in tears when they tell them and Harry hugs him close.

 

“I told you I was going to be fine,” he whispers into Draco’s ear.

 

“I know, you idiot. You have any idea how fucking lucky you are. Eighty-seven per cent of victims with spell damage at the heart don’t survive past a week, and only fifteen per cent of the people that don’t die have a full recovery. Most die within years after the damage is done.”

 

“Draco, I’m not going to die anytime soon, you hear me. I want to see my kids graduate, fall in love, get married, have kids. I want to see them make fun of me when my hair starts to turn grey, I want to see wrinkles start to form on your face because of how much I make you smile in the life we’re going to have.”

 

Draco nods and gives Harry a soft peck on his lips. They smile at each other for a moment until healer Johnson clears her throat.

 

When Harry looks back at healer Johnson and Hermione he doesn’t miss the small tear that Hermione whips from her face. Of course, she also knew the numbers and how big the change was that Harry would never fully recover.

 

“I need to go tell Ron, and... Well, everyone, I guess. I’ll floo Minerva so she can inform the kids at Hogwarts, I’m sure you want them to know as soon as possible,” Hermione says while she gets up from her chair. She already has her phone in her hands.

 

“Yes, go make sure everyone knows I’m good. I’ll write the kids later, have them hear it from me too, but floo Minerva anyway. The kids would be glad to know asap.”

 

Hermione nods and walks out of the room. Healer Johnson goes over the rules for Harry to go home. No heavy lifting, no running, and defiantly no flying. Harry has to take it easy. Healer Johnson tells him to let that man take care of you, and so on. Harry is fine with all of it, as long as he can just leave this hospital. The only thing they now have to do is figure out where to go.

 

When healer Johnson leaves the room, Harry knows he can’t keep it from Draco any longer. “There is something I need to tell you,” he starts. He looks Draco in the eyes and he hates how much he’s going to hurt him now. “We can’t go back to Grimmauld Place.” Tears start to form in Harry’s eyes when he sees the confusion on Draco’s face. “I’m so sorry, I know you loved that house just as much as I did.”

 

“Harry, shh, it’s okay. If you don’t want to live there anymore we can find a new place.”

 

“It’s not that I don’t want to live there anymore, I had to,” Harry hides his face in Draco’s shoulder again. He can’t say this and see the hurt on Draco’s face, knowing it was all for nothing in the end. “She made me sell the place, Draco. It’s not mine anymore.”

 

“Oh, Harry, I thought you knew. This is why you kept giving me those looks every time I mentioned the place. You think it’s not ours anymore. What do you think Hermione did the moment you decided to agree to sell it.”

 

“Draco, I don’t get it. I’ve sold it, the house belongs to someone else. Why aren’t you angry at me?”

 

“Because, Harry, look at me,” Draco lifts Harry’s chin so they can look each other in the eyes. “Because I’m the crazy person that put down all his money to buy the place. I even sold the Manor to afford it. That place is special to you, I wanted to make sure you could get it back when you realised what a mistake you made giving it up.”

 

“You sold the Manor to buy Grimmauld Place?” Harry can’t believe his ears. Draco is the one that bought the house. They can still go back and live there. Harry feels overwhelmed, he leans forward and kisses Draco. “I love you so much,” he cries against Draco’s lips. “Thank you for doing that for me.”

 

“When will you get it in that thick head of yours that I’ll do anything for you, Harry?”

 

“Maybe soon, it’s getting a bit hard to miss with all the sacrifices you’re willing to make to make sure I’m happy.”

 

They kiss again and Harry struggles to believe he’s really going home today, to the place that was made to give him his happily ever after.

 

Draco pulls away and fumbles with something in his pocket. “There’s another thing I’ve been wanting to ask you. Lily put this idea in my head, and after a talk with Hermione I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

 

Harry looks at Draco, who suddenly looks nervous. “Draco, what are you doing?” he asks. Harry has an idea of what kind of idea Lily came up with. She’s a firm believer in happy ends for fairy tales. And most of them end with the princess marrying the prince.

 

“When my mother died, I inherited the Black family ring. I gave it to Astoria back then, but she never wore it. After her death, I found it in its box, next to a letter. Tori wrote to me, telling me I should one day give it to the man that will hold my heart in a way she never could. You’re that man, Harry. I love you so much. And almost losing you this Christmas, made me realise I don’t want to live without you. So what I’m really trying to say is,” Draco pauses to pull a golden ring from his pocket, “fuck I should be on my knees for this shouldn’t I?”

 

“No, you don’t, just ask me the fucking question so I can say yes,” Harry says. His heart is beating like crazy and he’s glad Johnson just told him it’s all healed up.

 

Draco takes Harry’s hand in his and their eyes lock onto each other. “Harry James Potter, will you marry me?” Draco asks. Harry utters a yes and then his lips are on Draco’s. He’s going to marry him, the love of his life. Someday soon he’ll be able to call him his husband. And Harry can’t wait to find out what married life is like when you are truly in love, he’s sure it’s going to be amazing.


	8. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is done! I can't believe I've written a complete Drarry novel. Hope you all like the ending I've created for this story. And thank you all for all the kudos and love I've received in the months I've worked on this.

Draco’s finger slides over one of the scars on Harry’s back. Harry tries to stay still and pretends he’s still asleep. He likes the touch of Draco’s fingers tracing his scars, loves it when he places small kisses on them. Draco will only do that when he thinks Harry’s asleep. He never touches them when he knows Harry is awake, except for when he applies the lotion he made for them. Then he massages it in like it’s the most important task of his day.

 

A small tear falls from Harry’s eye. He still can’t believe he’s back in Grimmauld Place. He really thought he would never set foot in this house again. And now it’s almost like the last couple of months didn’t happen. Harry wishes that could be the trued. Wishes he never sent Draco away when Ginny asked him, wishes he’d never hurt the man he loves by forcing him to leave. Draco says that it’s okay, that it only made him love Harry more. But it had hurt Draco, more than anything that had ever hurt him before, and Harry hates himself for doing that to Draco.

 

And of course, Draco has forgiven him, is willing to give their relationship and Harry another chance. Harry has no idea why, but he’ll take it anyway. He hasn’t ever felt as safe as he feels now. For the first time since Christmas, he’s slept through the night. No nightmare woke him up screaming. It’s nice to just wake up with Draco caressing his scars instead of him holding him close, trying to comfort him while he wakes from the hell that haunts his dreams.

 

Draco told Harry that maybe it was time to find a mind healer to talk to since he can’t talk to Draco, or Hermione and Ron. Draco said therapy had helped him to talk about the things that had to stay hidden for years, the lies, the pain. He’s so sure it will help Harry. Harry doesn’t know. He doesn’t like thinking about it, about how he got the scars on his back, or about how he had to fight in a war when he was only a teenager, and about how he lost his parents when he was only one year old. It’s easier to just pretend it all never happened and life in the here and now, where he’s happy and in love with a man that loves him more than he will ever deserve.

 

A soft kiss lands on the scar just below Harry’s neck. Harry squeezes his eyes together and tries not to sob, but the tears come anyway.

 

“I’m sorry,” Draco whispers in his ear. His arm slides around Harry so he can pull Harry against his chest.

 

“It’s from the first time,” Harry says. His voice is barely more than a whisper. He’s not sure if he wants to tell this, but what if Draco is right? What if it helps to talk about it? Maybe that will stop the nightmares from ever coming back.

 

Draco stays silent behind Harry. His hand squeezes Harry’s hand, which are entwined in front of Harry’s stomach. A soft kiss lands on the back of Harry’s head.

 

“I never saw it coming,” Harry continues. Tears stream freely from his eyes and his body shakes from the pain inside his heart. “James was eleven weeks old and I was trying to feed him, but he didn’t want to drink from the bottle. He preferred his mother’s breast, but she wanted to get back to training, wanted to try to get back on the team, so we wanted him to get used to the bottle. Ginny came into the room and complained that James was always crying when I handled him. We had words, and somehow we ended up fighting. My magic was still unstable back then, so shortly after the war. Sometimes it would lash out without my consent. And all I could think of was that I would hurt James if it would happen with him near. So I gave him to Ginny and walked towards the door. I had my back to her, had almost left the room when the hex hit. I stumbled to the ground when a second hex hit just below the first.”

 

Harry his entire body shakes from recalling that first time. All those years ago. He can still feel that first wave of pain, and then the shock and emotional pain. “I should have left, oh God, Draco, I should have packed my things, taken James and left her right then. I knew it would only be the beginning. Why did I stay, why didn’t I leave right then? Why did I let her make me believe it was my own fault. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt James. I just didn’t want to hurt James,” Harry cries.

 

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe now, she can never hurt you again,” Draco’s soft voice tells Harry. He holds him while Harry cries. They stay like that for a while and then Draco thanks Harry for telling him. He turns Harry around in his arms so Harry can hide his face against Draco’s chest. One of Draco’s arms is tightly wrapped around Harry’s back and the other pets his hair. “I’ve got you, it’s all going to be okay, I promise.”

 

Harry nods his head against Draco’s chest. Harry’s heart is breaking, but he also feels lighter now that he’s started talking. The secret is out, the guilt a little less and Harry knows he wants to tell more, wants to get rid of all the times Ginny made him think he wasn’t good enough.

 

“It didn’t happen again for a long time after that. But it did happen again. I was thinking of dropping out of Auror training. For two years I’d tried to like it, but I just didn’t. She told me I couldn’t, that it was what the world expected of me. What she expected of me. We ended up screaming at each other, waking James in the other room. I turned to go check on him and as soon as my back was turned to her she did it again. She yelled that she had to, that she had to make me see that I needed to stay in Auror training, that I would become the youngest Head Auror in history and that I wouldn’t disappoint her.”

 

Harry clutches Draco’s t-shirt in his hands and takes comfort in the soft strokes of Draco’s hand in Harry’s hair. Harry has to go on, he can’t stop. Now that he’s found his words he needs to get them all out. He needs Draco to know and understand.

 

“After that, it happened more often, every time I wanted something she didn’t agree on, or when I did something she thought wasn’t correct behaviour of the Saviour of the Wizarding world. I tried to talk to Ron once, but he hated it when I would start about the struggles between me and Ginny, so I never did. I made sure nobody saw, and she made sure she only hit me on places that would be hidden away by clothing.”

 

“When she got pregnant again, everything became better. She laughed more, we had fun again. And I thought, that maybe now it will all stop. That we could find a way to love each other again. I was wrong. As soon as Albus was born and I wanted to take some extra time off from work it all started again. And when I would talk about leaving, she would threaten to make sure I would never see my boys again. And I believed her. I couldn’t leave them. They were my everything. And she was right, I messed up a lot. She needed to correct me.”

 

“Oh, fuck, Harry, no, don’t say that,” Draco says with an authority Harry didn’t know he had. “She wasn’t right. You hear me. I know you don’t believe me, but I will tell you until you do. You did nothing that gave her the right to hurt you like that. You are an amazing person, a wonderful dad and worth all the love you get. Don’t tell yourself that she was right for raising her wand against you when you did something wrong in her eyes.”

 

Harry shudders in Draco’s arms. “But why else would she do it? She loves me, she did it because she loved me. Because she wanted me to be a better person.”

 

“Harry, what she did isn’t love, it was all about power and control,” Draco says.

 

“But uncle Vernon, he too said he had to because they love me,” Harry whispers. They all did it because they loved him and Harry needed to learn the hard way. It was the only way he would ever learn.

 

Draco is quiet while Harry cries in his arms. When Harry calms down a little, a question comes from Draco that Harry doesn’t want to answer.

 

“Did your uncle hit you when you were little?”

 

Harry is afraid to speak, he just nods his head a little. Draco kisses his head and holds him close. “I’m so sorry, Harry, I’m sorry nobody ever showed you that love isn’t the same as pain. Oh, Harry, I can’t, I’m sorry,” Draco cries.

 

Harry lifts his head so he can look Draco in the eyes. Draco strokes one of his hands over Harry’s face. “You are a beautiful and amazing man, you hear me, and you didn’t deserve any of this. After all, you’ve done for this world, and all you ever got in return was pain,” Draco tells him.

 

A lump is stuck in Harry’s throat, he wants to say something, tell Draco that he is okay, that it wasn’t that bad, but the look on Draco’s face stops him. Draco hurts because of what happened to Harry even before they’d met and for the first time Harry understands that it wasn’t okay that his uncle would take his belt and hit Harry with it, and it wasn’t okay for Ginny to raise her wand against Harry when they would fight. Tears fall again and Harry lets out a scream. Draco pulls him close and holds Harry until the screams and choked up tears die down.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco watches as Harry walks up and down the little waiting area. His eyes look at the door every time it opens. Draco wishes the court would just hurry up and call Harry in, so he can give his statement. Maybe once the words are out, Harry will be able to calm down a little.

 

“I don’t think I can do it,” Harry says.

 

Draco gets up and walks towards Harry. He places his hands on Harry’s shoulders and makes him stand still. “Harry, no matter what you say today, there is plenty of evidence to sent Ginevra to jail for what she did to you on Christmas eve. You heard Hermione, just simply answer the questions and don’t elaborate if you don’t want to.”

 

“They’re going to ask me about my other scars, how I got them. I don’t know if I can tell them.”

 

Draco hugs Harry and when he pulls back he gives him a small kiss. “Then don’t, who cares if Hermione’s friend will be upset and hate that she can’t prove the domestic abuse. If you don’t want to tell, then don’t. Just promise me you won’t lie and say it never happened. Just tell them you don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“You think they will just let it go when I don’t want to talk about it?”

 

Draco shakes his head. “I really don’t know. What I do know is that Ginevra’s lawyer is going to try to discredit you and make it sound it was your own fault she almost killed you.”

 

“Sometimes I think it is,” Harry whispers.

 

“I know, love, it’s still not true,” Draco whispers in Harry’s ear. “There’s a difference in making someone angry and making them want to kill you. And what I’ve heard from the children, you did nothing that night that gives her the excuse to almost kill you.”

 

“You will be there, in the courtroom, won’t you?” Harry asks.

 

“Yes, I will. I walk in with you and Hermione said they reserved a seat for me at the front so you can look at me when you’re overwhelmed.”

 

“She’s going to be there,” Harry whispers. He doesn’t have to elaborate who he means, Draco knows. And he knows what her being there can do to Harry. He’d seen all those months ago when Ginny showed up at their place after the children showed up unannounced.

 

“Don’t look at her, don’t let her intimidate you, just focus on me and answering the questions they ask you. And before you know it, you’ll be done and we can leave if you want to.”

 

“No, I want to stay. The kids have to give testimonies, I want to be there when they do,” Harry says. Draco nods in agreement and places another small kiss on Harry’s lips.

 

“It’s all going to be okay,” he promises Harry.

 

The door opens and Hermione steps in. “They are ready for you, Harry,” she says. Harry nods and takes Draco’s hand. Together they walk to the courtroom. As soon as they step in the journalist on the balcony start to take pictures. Harry squeezes hard in Draco’s hand, so much so it even hurts, only Draco doesn’t say anything about it. He’s Harry’s lifeline right now. It’s a good thing the children are not allowed in the room yet until they’ve given evidence because otherwise, Harry would never have agreed to stand up and speak about what happened that night Ginevra attacked him.

 

When they reach the front of the room, Harry doesn’t let go of Draco’s hand. “Harry, look at me,” Draco tells him. When Harry looks at Draco, he smiles at him. “I’ll be right here, just look at me when you feel you can’t go on. You can do this.”

 

Harry nods his head and then gives Draco a quick kiss. “Thank you,” he says before he lets go and walks to the stand. He gets sworn in and then the prosecution starts to ask him questions. They make Harry tell why he went to the house on Christmas eve. Draco’s heart swells when he hears Harry say that he went to tell Ginevra that he’d do all she asked except say that Draco had used magic to make him fall in love with him. Draco never knew that was one of the demands Ginevra had made, that it was the one thing Harry wouldn’t do. Draco would have ended up in jail without a trial, if Harry had done that, he’s sure of it. And Draco feels grateful that Harry drew the line at betraying Draco.

 

“Why didn’t you want to make that public statement?” Marion, the prosecutor, asks.

 

Harry looks at Draco while his hand rubs over the scar on his upper arm. Draco smiles at Harry to tell him it’s okay.

 

“Because this Ministry still sees Draco as a death eater and you would have thrown him in jail without a second thought. I couldn’t do that to him, or Scorpius. Not for something he didn’t do.”

 

“So he didn’t force you with magic to be with him?” Marion asks him.

 

“No, he didn’t have to. I love him, will always love him,” Harry says, a determination in his voice that warms Draco’s heart.

 

“And what happened after you told miss Weasley that you wouldn’t make that statement?”

 

“We had a fight and somewhere during the screaming I realised I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t move back in with her and stay there. Not after everything that had happened. I didn’t love her, I hated her.”

 

“What do you mean by everything that had happened?”

 

Harry shakes his head. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to lie, but I can’t say it, I can’t tell you what she did to me.”

 

If Draco could he would get up right now to hug Harry for not lying, for not covering for Ginny’s abuse. But all he can do is sit on his seat and watch how tears fall from Harry’s eyes when he tells the lawyer he won’t talk about it.

 

“Okay, let’s get back to that evening,” Marion continues. “You realised you couldn’t move back in with miss Weasley. What did you do then?”

 

“I planned to leave but was frozen halfway through the door. Ginny had raised her wand and I just couldn’t move. She was so angry, I knew that as soon I would turn my back on her I would feel how angry she was.”

 

“How is it you knew she would hurt you if you turned her back to her?”

 

“Please don’t make me say it, please,” Harry begs Marion. He hides his face in his hands. Draco has to hold onto his own chair to not get up and drag Harry away from here. It’s wrong to force this out of him. Harry has only talked about it once, just once, and he isn’t ready to tell anyone else. And now they are making him. No matter how much Draco wants Ginevra to get convicted for the abuse and pain she caused Harry, he doesn’t want Harry to suffer for it.

 

“Mister Potter, I just want the court to understand that you were already afraid of miss Weasley before you came to see her that Christmas eve.”

 

“I wasn’t afraid, I was terrified!” Harry screams. “But I had to go, for my kids. Time and time again I would hear from Ron and Hermione how much they miss me. I had to do whatever she wanted to make sure they wouldn’t have to. I was willing to remarry her, even though I knew it would mean it would be even worse than before. That she would raise her wand at me whenever she would like and that I would be unable to stop her. My back is covert with scars she left there. For years, for fucking years I let her hurt me to protect my kids. And when I told her I couldn’t do it anymore she almost killed me. In front of our own boy. I still hear his pleats for his mother to stop every time I fall asleep. I wake up screaming every fucking night because of her.”

 

Harry’s body shakes all over and he slides down the stand. The judge calls for a recess and Hermione rushes forwards to help Harry out of the stand. Draco moves towards them and together they escort Harry out of the courtroom. Once they are in the safety of the waiting room Harry lets his body fall against Draco. Draco holds him up long enough until they reach a bench. Tears fall from his own eyes while he holds Harry close to him.

 

“Fuck, Hermione, you said she wouldn’t push him on the abuse,” Draco snaps at Hermione.

 

“She said she wouldn’t. If I had known she would go at him like this, I would have prepared you both more.”

 

“He can’t go back up there like this,” Draco says. Blood boils in his veins. “They’ll just have to do without his testimony of what happened that night. I won’t let you do this to him.”

 

“Draco, he has to. The defence still has a right to question him,” Hermione pleads.

 

“Oh, and I’m just supposed to sit there while they try to make it sound like I poisoned him? When they try to blame it all on me that Ginevra had to hit him over and over again with hexes until he was so close to dying that even his own son thought he was dead? Fuck that, Hermione. It’s wrong,” Draco lashes out.

 

Harry stirs in Draco’s arms. “It’s all going to be in the papers tomorrow. Everyone will know what a weak man I am,” Harry sobs. It is enough to quench the anger that is boiling inside Draco and break his heart.

 

“Harry, you aren’t weak, what you did today, that was brave. To stand up to the person that hurt you for so long, not everyone can do that,” Hermione tells him.

 

“I don’t feel brave,” Harry answers her.

 

“Hermione is right, you know,” Draco tells Harry. “Mother was never able to stand up against father, not even after he’d died. She was so afraid of him that she took that secret with her to her grave. So what you just did in there, even though you didn’t want to, was extremely brave. And I’m proud of you for not lying about it.”

 

Harry wipes his hand over his eyes and then places his glasses back onto his face. “I’ll go back in there, answer all their questions. But I want to be able to talk to my kids before this day is over. I don’t want them to read it in the papers tomorrow. I need to tell them myself,” Harry says. He looks determent and Draco is proud of him, of that stupid Gryffindor bravery and perseverance. He loves it in Harry, even though it irritates him when he has to interact with any other Gryffindor.

 

“I’ll let the court know,” Hermione says and she walks out of the room.

 

“You sure you want to do this? You don’t have to if it’s too much,” Draco tells Harry.

 

Harry shakes his head and takes Draco’s hand in his. Draco looks at the ring on Harry’s finger, the Black family ring, and he smiles.

 

“I need to do this. I need them to understand that none of what happened was your fault, but that it was the climax on a marriage filled with pain and suffering. I need this to be able to start over.”

 

Draco nods and kisses Harry. Their tongues wind around each other and Draco tries to forget for one moment that he’s about to hear much more about how badly Ginevra treated Harry in the years they were together.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Can’t I really not come with him?” Draco asks Hermione for the hundred time since the court adjourned for the day. Harry has no idea how long he was questioned, first by Marion who tricked him to speak up about the abuse. She made him recall fights he rather forgets. She even got him to tell about the weekend that he cheated on Ginny with Draco, how he had tried to convince Ginny to make time for their marriage, to reconnect so he could forget the feelings that were boiling inside him. He told the entire courtroom how she had hexed him and left without saying another word and how that was the final push out of the door. And then he told them all how Draco had told him to go back to his wife and family, how even though he loved him he wasn’t willing to be the person that destroyed a marriage. It was Harry who made the decision to leave Ginny and pursue a life with Draco, not the other way around.

 

And once that was done, Ginny’s lawyer had tried to twist all his words, make it sound like Harry was the one who always started the fights. Harry had struggled to answer his questions. The man was harsh and unconsidered of Harry’s pain. Surely if Ginny was really that awful woman Harry made her out to be, Harry would have spoken up during the custody hearing. Harry had tried to explain that he hadn’t said anything back then because he believed he had deserved it, that Ginny was not to blame for the pain she caused him.

 

“No Draco, you can’t. The judge was really clear on it. Those kids still need to testify tomorrow and it’s already a big deal Harry gets to talk to them now.”

 

“So it will be just me and the kids?” Harry asks. It will be hard to tell them without Draco there to support him, but he has to do it. He can’t have them hear it from someone else. Or read it in the papers that are sure to come out with a special evening edition to break the news of how Harry Potter, the Saviour of the Wizarding World, was the victim of domestic abuse.

 

“Ginny’s lawyer will be there and Marion,” Hermione answers.

 

“Why does that arsehole need to be there, this is something between Harry and the children,” Draco snaps.

 

“Draco, I understand why you feel that way, but they want to make sure Harry doesn’t put words in their mouths for tomorrow.”

 

Harry shakes his head and takes Draco’s hand in his. “I don’t want him there, Hermione. I don’t want him to be able to twist my words.”

 

“They are not allowed to intervene as long as you don’t bring up Christmas eve or ask them about what they know about it all. Marion is prepping the kids as we speak, so they understand that they can only listen and not talk about the time you had no custody rights.”

 

“Can you come with me? I’m going to need a friendly face with me,” Harry asks. His hands are sweaty and he wants to run away and hide in his bedroom for the rest of the week until this awful trial is over. And maybe even longer than that, until the world forgets who he is and that he let his wife hex him on a regular basis.

 

“I’m sure they won’t make a problem about that. I’ve been in contact with both you and the kids this entire time, and I haven’t just been summoned to testify, as Draco has.”

 

“Yes, I still don’t understand why they want me on that stand. I wasn’t even in the country when it happened,” Draco complains. “At least tell me I’m first before the children have to testify. I would hate to not be there for them.”

 

“I think you are, Marion said something about getting the idea of you making a love potion to make Harry fall in love with you out of the way as soon as possible. So I think you’re up first thing tomorrow morning.”

 

Draco nods and Harry squeezes his hand. He’s glad Marion only decided to get Draco on that stand after Ginny’s lawyer wouldn’t stop talking about how Draco manipulated Harry into leaving his wife and kids. Harry had tried to explain it wasn’t like that, but Marion believes that Draco’s testimony will help.

 

“Are you ready, Harry?” Hermione asks. Harry nods, he turns to Draco and gives him a kiss. They smile at each other while Harry steps backwards to follow Hermione to the room where his kids are waiting. Only when the distance becomes too far they both let go of each other's hand.

 

“I’ll be waiting for you right outside that door when your done,” Draco says before Harry turns around and walks the last steps to the door that Hermione holds open. As soon as he’s through the door three teenagers are on him. They all tell him how much they missed him and how happy they are that he’s doing so much better and so on. Harry hugs all of them and then sits them down around the table. Hermione sits down too while Marion and Ginny’s lawyer stand somewhere to the side. Harry tries not to look at them and focus on his kids in front of him and the horrible truth he’ll have to tell them now.

 

“Dad, Marion said you needed to tell us something important,” James says.

 

“If it’s that you’re bisexual and engaged to Draco, don’t worry, we already know,” Lily chips in. Both James and Albus look at her with wide eyes.

 

“What do you mean engaged? Dad is not engaged with Draco, I’m sure he would have told us already,” Albus says.

 

Harry struggles not to laugh. Of course Lily had already figured it out. She had played with the ring on Harry’s finger when they had stopped by that first weekend Harry was out of the hospital.

 

“Haven’t you noticed the ring on his finger? And I told papa he should marry dad.”

 

“Is this true?” James asks. He looks hopeful and nervous. “Is this what you wanted to tell us.”

 

Harry smiles at his kids and shakes his head. “Yes, I am engaged with Draco,” Harry starts.

 

“NO WAY, Scorp and I are going to be real brothers. Dad, this is so cool,” Albus shouts.

 

“Congrats dad,” James says with a shy smile.

 

“But it’s not why I needed to talk to you all tonight,” Harry continues. “It’s something I had to tell when I gave my testimony today. I didn’t want to at first but I did in the end and it will be in the papers and people will talk about it and I wanted you all to hear it from me.”

 

Harry lays his hands on the table and looks at them. He doesn’t really want to do this, he knows it will break his kids’ hearts. But when one by one his kids lay their hand on top of his he finds the courage to look them in the eyes and tell them why he really left Ginny.

 

“Your mother, when we would fight, she sometimes would hurt me. And not just because her words were hurtful. She would raise her wand and hex me. All the scars on my back, well most of them are there because of what she did.”

 

“Mommy hurt you, as she did on Christmas eve?” Lily asks.

 

“You can’t answer that,” Ginny’s lawyer booms over the room.

 

“He knows,” Hermione says. “Lily, remember what Marion told you, you can’t talk about Christmas eve right now.”

 

Lily nods her head. “I just don’t understand what daddy means. Mommy wouldn’t hurt him like that, would she?”

 

“We’ll talk about it later, okay,” Hermione tells her. “After you tell your story tomorrow I’ll make sure you can talk to your dad again and he can explain it even better. He’s just not allowed to say that much about it right now.”

 

Lily nods her head and moves to sit on Harry’s lap. “I love you, daddy,” she says. Harry hugs her and tells her he loves her too. Then he looks up to his two sons on the other side of the table. Tears slowly travel over Albus’ cheeks and James looks at his hands on the table.

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before,” Harry says. He keeps his eyes on Albus and James.

 

“How long? I know it was bad in the end, but when did it start?” James asks without looking up.

 

“When you were just a little baby,” Harry says. Ginny’s lawyer opens his mouth again, but Hermione shuts him up with telling him it will be in the papers tonight anyway.

 

James looks up and his hand reaches for Harry’s again. Harry takes it and squeezes.

 

“You said the scars were from your work,” Albus chips in.

 

“I know, I’m sorry I lied. I didn’t want you to hate your mother,” Harry tells him. Albus nods and lets James hug him while he cries. Harry can’t believe how calm James is.

 

“Did you know?” Harry asks him. James nods and squeezes Harry’s hand. “I’m sorry,” Harry says again.

 

“Why didn’t you leave sooner?” James asks. “Why did you let her?”

 

Harry shakes his head. He can’t do this here, without Draco and with Marion and Ginny’s lawyer in the room. Tears stream down his face.

 

“Daddy, you’re shaking,” Lily says. Her hand cups his face and she wipes some of the tears away. Harry kisses her hair and tries to smile at his kids.

 

“You’ll tell me later? When you’re ready,” James says. Harry nods and that seems to be enough.

 

They sit for a little while in silence and then it’s time to say goodbye. Harry hates that he needs to get up and leave his kids alone again. He knows that Molly is taking good care of them and that they are safe. Only it still feels wrong to drop this bomb on them and then leave them. With pain in his heart, he hugs them one by one and then walks out of the room with Hermione. Draco has his arms around Harry as soon as the door is closed. Harry burrows his face in Draco’s shoulder and lets the tears fall.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Tears slowly slide over Harry’s cheeks. Draco wishes he could do more than just hold his hand and let him know he’s here. The tears had started when Draco was still on the stand, explaining that he’s never made a love potion in his entire life. He had to admit he’d known about the abuse from the moment he and Harry had become friends. He had to elaborate on how he recognised the signs because his own father had done the same to his mother. It had been hard to see Harry in the back of the courtroom with red eyes and a downturned mouth.

 

It had gotten worse when Draco had been able to sit down next to Harry and James had given his testimony. The soft tears evolving in real cries when James told about the time his mother had hit him in his face when he had come out to her. And when James described how he’d found Harry on the kitchen floor, his mother still hurting his bleeding body, Harry had hidden his face against Draco’s chest. Draco had put his arm around Harry not knowing what to say to him to make it all better.

 

Draco had wanted to kill Ginevra when Albus told the court that she had turned her wand on him last summer when they had a fight. Draco had been afraid of this. His father had been the same. The few times Mother had been away when Lucius had been in one of his moods are stuck in Draco’s memories. He remembers the physical pain and emotional heartbreak. Never will he understand how a parent could do something like that to their own child.

 

And now Ginevra sits in the stand. As accused she’s been dosed with a few drops of Veritaserum under great protest of her lawyer. Whatever she will say today, it will be the trued for her. Draco knows how easy it is to conflict that with the real truth, knows how it all depends on the questions asked, remembers how his own guilt was used to make him confess to more than he did. It had cost him a year of his life wasting away in Azkaban.

 

“I only did what was necessary. Harry needs guidance, sometimes forgets what is expected of him,” Ginevra says. “He would have wasted away in his Godfathers home if it hadn’t been for me.”

 

“Why did he need guidance, he’s a grown man. I’m sure he was capable of making his own decisions,” Marion asks.

 

“He was supposed to be this big hero, the saviour. But all he wanted was to be a simple man. He’s too powerful to just be a simple man. So I’d made sure he’d live up to his potential.”

 

“Can you give us an example?”

 

Ginevra nods. “He wanted to drop out of Auror training, give up all his skill, disappoint everyone and me. He was made to lead, to fight evil. If it hadn’t been for me he would have given up on that years ago.”

 

“And how did you guide him to stay on as an Auror?” Marion asks.

 

“I told him he wouldn’t. We had words a couple of times. I told him I would leave him if he’d quit, that I would take James with me.”

 

“You only used words to make him see he should stay an Auror?”

 

“No.”

 

“What else did you do?”

 

Ginevra shakes her head. Draco feels a little pleasure in seeing her struggle to formulate an honest answer that won’t implicate herself.

 

“Sometimes Harry needed to feel instead of hear to get back into line. I might have hexed him sometimes to get the message across.”

 

“Harry left you last year. Did he ever mentioned leaving before that?”

 

“Yes,” Ginevra answers.

 

“When was the first time that you know of that he wanted to leave you?”

 

Ginevra clears her throat. “I think the first time I knew was a couple of months after the war, just before I got pregnant.”

 

Harry sits up straight next to Draco and his hold on Draco’s hand tightens.

 

“Did you use hexes to make him stay with you?”

 

“No, I didn’t need to. Ron told me Harry was planning on breaking up with me. I couldn’t let that happen. He promised to be with me after the war. I needed him to stay with me.”

 

“And how did you make him stay with you?”

 

“I took fertility potions and stopped using protection when we had sex.”

 

Harry’s free hand rubs over the scar on his upper arm and his face is paler than it was before. He blinks a couple of times with his eyes and then the tears start again. Draco squeezes Harry’s hand to comfort him.

 

“I knew that if I would give him a child he would never leave me,” Ginevra continues. “So I made sure I got pregnant. It ruined my Quidditch career, but at least Harry didn’t leave me.”

 

A couple of rows in front of them James shakes his head. Mrs Weasley pulls him close to her when he cries out. The courtroom is silence for a beat and then Marion asks Ginevra if she regrets getting pregnant now that Harry has left her.

 

“Yes, I’ve regretted it. I never wanted children. I only had them to keep him in line.”

 

Harry’s hand slips out of Draco’s when he stands up. Draco watches him walk down the aisle until he reaches the row that his children are occupying.

 

“Don’t you dare, you are not allowed near them,” Ginny yells at Harry. The judge looks up and just nods at Harry. Harry sits down between James and Albus. Both boys cling to him while he whispers words into their hair. Lily gets up from her own seat and turns to the back. She steps towards Draco, and a small papa leaves her lips. Draco doesn’t hesitate and gets up. He takes Lily in his arms and lets her sit on his lap when he sits down next to Albus. Scorpius has followed him and sits down on the last chair of the row. Harry looks up at Draco and gives him a small smile through his tears.

 

“He’s not allowed. I’ve got custody over our kids. I don’t want that death eater scum anywhere near them.”

 

“I would stop talking if I were you, Ms Weasley,” the judge says and Ginevra goes quiet. Marion continues her questioning. She makes Ginevra confess that she hexed Harry and Albus and that she wanted Harry dead that Christmas eve. The afternoon feels to go on forever and Draco is glad when it’s all over and the court slowly empties.

 

“Harry, dear. We’ll make sure they get the love they need tonight. I know you want to take them home with you, but you can’t just yet. We wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for breaking the custody agreement,” Molly says when she gets up. Her face is puffy and her eyes are red and Draco wonders how she deals with hearing her own daughter saying the things she said today.

 

With difficulty, Harry lets go of James and Albus. He promises them that he loves them and that he’s never regretted having them.

 

“Can I go with them, dad?” Scorpius asks. Draco doesn’t get a chance to answer him. Molly is already saying that it won’t be a problem and then they all walk out of the room.

 

“She knew I wanted to break up with her, knew I didn’t love her anymore. Why didn’t she let me go?” Harry’s hand covers his mouth when he starts to sob. Draco takes him in his arms and tells him he doesn’t know. More questions come from Harry that Draco can’t answer. He has no idea why Ginevra thought it was okay to use their children to get her way. He doesn’t know why she thought Harry was obligated to stay with her. He doesn’t know how it is she could hurt them as she did. The only thing he knows is that he loves Harry and that he loves his children and that the pictures that were taken of them sitting all together in court will be front-page news tomorrow.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Did he just say…” Harry starts. He must have misheard the judge. Harry opens his mouth to say more, only to close it again. Draco smiles at him, takes his hands in his and squeezes.

 

“Yes Harry, he did. You’re not dreaming.”

 

Tears fall from Harry’s eyes. He shivers and looks down at his hands covered by Draco’s. “I get to take them home?” he asks.

 

Draco laughs next to him. “Yes, we can take all our children back home.”

 

Harry shakes his head. Davis had said he would have to file for custody again once the criminal court was done with this trial against Ginny. That it could take months before he would again be allowed to call himself the father of his kids. And now, with one simple sentence, the judge has granted Harry full custody, right after he told them that Ginny would go to Azkaban for the next 20 years for attempted murder, domestic abuse and child abuse.

 

“He must have made a mistake,” Harry starts. “Davis said it would take months.”

 

Draco kisses his cheek and Harry just shakes his head again. He looks up in search of Hermione, only to be blinded by three kids falling on top of him. He’ll have to wait to get answers from Hermione cause his kids are in tears and hold him so tight it’s hard to breathe.

 

Sometime later the courtroom has empty around them. Albus and Scorpius are chatting excitedly a couple of seats away. James is on his phone with one of his friends and Draco is on the phone with Davis to make sure that this ruling can’t be undone, that Harry is really the sole guardian of his kids from now on. Lily is still on Harry’s lap. She won’t let go of his shirt and Harry has his arms around her.

 

“Is it okay that I’m happy and sad at the same time, daddy?” Lily asks.

 

“Yes, sweetheart, that’s okay. I think I’m happy and sad too right now,” Harry tells her.

 

“Why are you sad, daddy?”

 

Harry looks back to the front of the courtroom, at the door Ginny had been taken through. The mother of his kids marched away for a twenty-year sentence in Azkaban. He never wanted his kids to have to grow up without her, even after all she’d done to him. She is still their mother and he knows they will always love her in some way. Just like Draco still loves his father even though he hates him for everything he did to Draco and his mother. He only has no idea how to explain this to Lily, so he settles on keeping it simple.

 

“She’s your mother, I didn’t want her to go to jail.”

 

Lily looks up at Harry and she smiles. “Neither did I, daddy. I’m going to miss her.”

 

Harry hugs Lily a little closer. “You’re allowed to miss her, no matter what your brothers will say. I won’t get angry at you for missing your mom.”

 

“Okay,” Lily says and then she shakes her head. “But I’m also happy. I won’t have to miss you anymore now. And I get to see you smile all the time now that you’re marrying papa.”

 

“What!” Scorpius screams. “You and dad are getting married?”

 

Harry’s head snaps up to look at Draco, who has turned around and mutters a fuck. He’s already walking back towards them, pocketing his phone. “Scorpius, I wanted to tell you,” Draco starts.

 

“It’s true then?” Scorpius asks.

 

“Yes, you silly, of course it’s true. Daddy told us yesterday. Didn’t Al tell you?” Lily says.

 

“Of course I didn’t. You made dad tell us. I was sure Scorp’s dad would like the chance to tell him. You’re so inconsiderably sometimes, Lily,” Albus snaps. Harry knows he should say something, tell his kids to shut up, but he’s fixated on Draco who just looks at his own boy with watery eyes.

 

“I won’t if you don’t want me to,” Draco says. “I always thought your mother would be the only person I’d ever marry, and it can stay that way if that is what you need.”

 

“Dad, stop right there. I’m not mad. I just…” Scorpius shakes his head and looks at the ground. “Mom would have been so happy to see you marrying your one true love.”

 

Draco takes Scorpius in his arms and hugs him. “I know,” he stutters before the tears start to flow. “I would have loved to have her with us still, and nobody will ever replace her, I will always love her even though I’m marrying Harry.”

 

“I know, dad,” Scorpius mumbles.

 

Harry smiles and hugs Lily when she utters a ‘men’ and pretends to be grossed out by the affection between Draco and Scorpius. He looks around him, smiles at James who is still on his phone. Harry hopes that his public outing today won’t cause him any problems with his friends and classmates for the last couple of weeks of school. The thought that Harry can be his support again makes it all a little easier to bear. He takes Al’s hand in his and is happy that Albus can be his Slytherin self, with his green ties and green sweaters, without the constant remarks of Ginny to bring him down.

 

“Let’s go home,” Harry says. He can’t help the bright smile that forms on his face when Draco, Scorpius, James, Albus and Lily all agree at the same time. He’s got his family back, in a different form than before, but perfect none the less.

 

-x-x-x-x-

 

Draco slowly walks down the path. The sun is out today, even though it’s still cold. So different from the weather three years ago, when Draco’s world had fallen apart when Astoria took her last breathe. Back then it had rained all day and Draco had been scared to step away from Astoria’s side, afraid to miss her final moments.

 

Her grave is close to the woods at the end of the graveyard. A new bouquet of flowers lay on top the headstone Scorpius picked out. Daphne most have already been by then. She’s probably at Grimmauld Place by now, bugging Harry about his new book. Not the story of what the war was like for him, or how all the abuse he’d suffered shaped him. Those words are only for Draco’s eyes, written in notebooks that nobody else will ever get to read. No, Harry had found his calling in children's stories, written for muggles with paintings made by Dean. The little wizard and his pet dragon will get published next week, in time for all the muggle parents to buy it as a Christmas gift.

 

Draco kneels down in front of Astoria’s grave and places the Delphinium he picked from the Malfoy gardens this morning on the ground.

 

“I brought you your favourite flower. The gardens are still filled with them. The new owners have let me take a bush, they plan to rip them all out. Harry and I are going to plant it in our garden at Grimmauld Place. So at least one of them will survive. I’m sorry I couldn’t save the rest of them.”

 

Draco laughs at himself. “Isn’t that stupid. I always complained about the stupid flowers and now I feel bad that they are all going to get destroyed.”

 

Draco’s knees start to hurt and he sits down on his buttocks. “Fuck, the ground is cold. It has been freezing the last couple of nights. Winter is really coming. It will be a better one than last year, that’s for sure. All the chimneys in Grimmauld Place have been cleaned and Harry loves to keep a fire burning in all of them. He’s come a long way since he started his therapy. Fire used to upset him. I think it was because of the Friendfyre that killed Vince. He doesn’t really talk to me about the war, but I’m glad he’s moving past it finally. He does talk a lot about his childhood and his life with Ginny. Really Astoria, if you ever see his stupid Aunt that used to breed dogs up there, throw her down to hell. She deserves it.”

 

“I’ve replaced your ring with another,” Draco says while he turns his new wedding ring around his finger. “I married Harry last summer, the day after I adopted all his children. He’s also the legal guardian of Scorpius now. I hope you don’t mind, that your sister isn’t the person anymore that will take care of our boy if something would happen to me. But he sees Harry as a parent, shouts at him as much as he used to shout at you.”

 

“Scorpius is doing great by the way. He’s in his sixth year now. He’d gotten seven O.W.L.’s last year. All great marks. He’s really good at Defence, just like you used to be.”

 

Draco blinks his eyes. “I still miss you,” he says before he looks away. “I’m happy, don’t get me wrong. I love my life, love that I get to spend it with Harry. But fuck, I miss you. Your stupid jokes and your insights. I miss how you would cuddle in between me and Scorp on the couch, miss the way you used to let me braid your hair. Harry won’t let me braid his, says he needs to learn for himself. So most of the time it hangs loosely around his face or is pulled into a simple ponytail. James mailed him a YouTube channel one of his friends at university pointed out, filled with hair tutorials for guys with longer hair. When Harry isn’t writing he’s watching those video’s.”

 

“Thank you for making me promise you that I would tell him that I love him. It was the best promise I ever made in my life. And thank you for loving me as much as you did,” Draco finishes. He stands up and kisses the top of the headstone. “I still need to write Scorpius, and it’s my turn to cook tonight. Yes, Harry forced me to learn how to cook. You should hear Mila complain that she has to take nights off. She doesn’t mind when James is home and cooks for us, but when it’s me that has to cook she just sits in the kitchen shaking her head all the time.”

 

“Look at me, even when I plan to leave I can’t stop talking to you,” Draco says. He shakes his head and turns around, ready to go back to his home and the love of his life. When he walks away he utters the words he came to say here today.

 

“Goodbye Astoria.”


End file.
